"Rolling in the Deep"

(CREDITS: Adele. Thank god it's not me...)

Rank: 1 out of 5 <-- get me some doom metal...

Sometimes I wonder why I subject myself to such torture... NO. I wonder why I have to be around things that I want dead. I'd honestly love to pull a MCR "Thank You for the Venom" on this song so badly.

On the surface, "Rolling in the Deep" is a bland bluesy song with a woman with good, yet painful vocal skills. Right there, I am at my neck in problems. Maybe I'm very biased and closed-minded at times, but I'll admit this now. Pop can be annoying, but catchy. Rap and hip hop may be shallow, but there are a few decent artists I might respect. But jazz and blues... I HATE THEM WITH A PASSION.

Doom metal makes me dance for joy in comparison: jazz and blues are that mellow and boring as heck. Not one song in that genre has ever caught my ear and consider a new door of opportunities. At least with rap, there was Rage Against the Machine, Linkin Park, and many other acts with rap rock, which was a fun genre while it lasted! But anything bluesy or jazzy in nature has always made me want to leave the room or shut down.

Okay, fine. It's not my cup of tea, but is "Rolling in the Deep" that awful? Oh yes, dear friends, it is.

A few months back, my art teacher played 21 for my class one day, and I didn't think Adele could be an awful musician. But one thing that bothered me was how my teacher claimed she was one of the better singers out right now [... in the mainstream of course]. Honestly, Adele has a range, but her voice is so powerful that it's like a half-god lifting up a boulder and struggling to carry it for thirty feet. The power if there, but it's just awkward. In this song in particular, she cannot hold a note, have power, have emotion, and hold it all together in more than two seconds. Maybe it's all about style, but Lady GaGa can deliver her voice far better if we get rid of that auto tune. Wait...

Adele is not alone in the category of females with powerful, confident, and emotional vocals, albeit their genres are different. Amy Lee is such an example, although she can hold a note better, there are times when I want to saw my ears off. Tarja Turunen is another and far more versatile and controlled than the aforementioned; she can be soft and gentle one moment and booming and epic in another. I could drop Emilie Autumn here too, but her voice doesn't quite have much of a punch as these women. Hell, I could also add Beyonce, but let's not go on.

Subjectively speaking, the style in music and vocals make Fangirl want to sit through Ergo Proxy in a straightjacket than to hear this song again. As for the objective problems, let's see... The song is just plain average in every way. The lyrics are your typical "I'm mad at this dishonest SOB" and it's pretty simple and cheesy despite the failed attempts to sound poetic. They paint no interesting image, even with a "good voice." Maybe my standards are too high for a simple catchy pop song.

Then again, "Rolling in the Deep" is so average, even in catchiness, that I'm shocked that it still is so damn popular. [**WARNING: terms used VERY loosely!**] It's nowhere near as fun**, interesting**, or catchy as "Bad Romance," "Tick Tock," or "Fire Burning," which is also mediocre! Even "Hey Soul Sister," another song I loathe, is far more fascinating** at the least in stupidity! "Rolling in the Deep" might not be like some of the more popular party hits, but it still fits the other bland categories of pop music while bringing nothing groundbreaking to the table.

Overconfident, bland, dull, and annoying as hell. That is "Rolling in the Deep." And the fact that it's not my cup of tea makes it worse. Looks like at this rate I will forever dislike bluesy and jazzy music. At least I don't hate this enough to call it shit...