'No.6'

I hate stories that both succeed and fail. Or maybe this does neither. I honestly have no clue anymore.

The premise touches upon a theme that you usually like, and you assume it'd be an easy ride. Then you realize ten minutes in that it focuses on another theme that sets off every alarm bell in your mind. Despite your discomfort, you press on because the cast endears you enough to give them and their story a chance. Then about halfway through the journey as you make friends with the passengers, the main plot train breaks are busted. The narrative steamrolls towards a huge crash after it climbs a steep hill. Impact is immanent, but you hang on anyway because, as your life flashes before your eyes, you realize the main characters and the secondary theme that initially terrified you are the only reasons you're still on the damn ride in the first place. Finally, the train derails. But by some divine miracle the passengers you grew to love are safe and unharmed. You share tearful farewells as everyone is taken to the hospital. And as you look back at the burning remains of the plot, you wonder if the memory of this strange, avoidable catastrophe is even worth remembering.

That was my time with the anime and manga adaptations, as well as the original light novels, of No.6.

Spoilers, cursing, rage, and feels aplenty.

Netflix's 'Death Note': Another Awful American Adaptation

Once upon a time in the scenic but boring Philadelphia suburbs, a girl quietly took notes and waited for her teacher to return as her classmates gossiped and played pranks. The boy in front of her annoyed her especially with his radiant gold hair, light skin that tanned into a crisp Hollywood celebrity glow, and pearl-white teeth. He always sat in front of her, but not by choice; students sat alphabetically in rows for every period from the first day of the school year to the last. A jock and one of the smartest kids in her grade, that boy bragged about his supposedly authentic Italian heritage and basked in attention, adoration, expensive cars, and education awards. He was not the one she hated most in the school, but even if he was moderately attractive, she was physically unable to say a positive thing about him as a human being. She once slammed the back of his head with her history textbook for making an ignorantly sexist comment, shocking the class who never thought the quiet, muted girl living in her own mental dreamscape had a vindictive streak.

Given the right environment with the right people, that girl would rant and debate for hours on anything that she felt passionate about. Instead, she sealed her lips shut, kept only four friends, and navigated through eight years of Catholic schooling. She never knew what group she belonged to - nerds, goths, gamers, or whatever labels were cool in the late 2000s - but she knew herself and her interests enough to not feel completely lost when she was alone. After she graduated high school, she kept her friends and burned the names and faces of her peers from her memory. They never cared for her in school, so why should they ever try to reach out to her now? She feared that if she tried to remember them, hatred for them would fester and manifest into urges too "logical" and compelling to not act on. Instead, she poured her energy into studies and work to live a productive life, and she allowed herself to relax with entertainment to cope with emotions not respected in a post-industrial society.

I am glad Death Notes aren't real, because I would definitely be one of the worst people who could ever have the power to murder at will. If I did have it, I'd be fighting the temptation to get rid of any of my Catholic school peers who dare to try to contact me instead of targeting the politicians that have allowed the political, economic, and cultural capitals of the US to become ideologically cultish cesspools. Imagine Stephen King's Carrie if she was a Myers Briggs INTJ like Augustus Caesar and channeled Rei's stoicism from Evangelion. I still resent the people I went to school with, but I am aware enough of my feelings that I do everything in my power to not allow them to mutate into an uncontrollable monster that consumes me. That is something someone like Light Yagami would completely fail to understand... but at least he's not Light Turner.

Fuck. He looks like that douchebag I sat behind.

Oh yes, people, I watched the Netflix adaptation of Death Note. And I have opinions. Strong opinions.

Spoilers, if anyone cares enough about this predictable dumpster fire.
Oh, and as an added disclaimer, I do get a bit political given some of the ire American adaptations of Japanese fiction tend to stir on the lovely English-speaking side of the interwebs.

The Closest Thing to Me Ever Releasing My Awful Fanfiction

... Then in a few years that statement will bite me in the ass.

Anywho. Time to vent.

Whenever I sit on my lazy young adult bum with a roof over my head thanks to owing thousands of dollars in loans for something called "education", my mind wanders. Usually the ideas are silly or nonsensical in the grand design of the universe. But sometimes when I use my imagination, I usually wonder how I could use my ideas in a productive manner. Writing was the only tool I knew I would have the easiest time using. Maybe not to the degree of becoming an author - though my one friend has urged me to - but enough so I could articulate my thoughts well in English. Other times, I could destroy someone's grammatically poor rough draft and give him/her pointers to make a better piece before the final copy is due.

If I put enough effort into it, I could write a well-written, grammatically sound paper. The actual quality behind or emitting from the mechanical aspects tends to confuse me more. My teachers and professors say my knowledge of grammar is solid, but how do they know what I'm saying is worth a cent of thought? What do I say that ensues my earning an A-?

Outside of academia and term papers, I always wonder, what makes a story "good"? How do you know it "clicks" or "works"? Preferences for style and genre only can go so far, I'm sure. Still, determining what is "good" bothers me when I look at my own work.

'Devil Survivor 2: The Animation'

I like anime. I really do. Some of the conventions and cliches are fun, hilarious, and enjoyable. Some characters fit the same mold constantly, but others break down boundaries and create a new spin on tropes of characterization.

Some shows are classics. Some are memorable and provide a lot of commentary. Some are forgettable, but still watchable. Others are just simply bad. Even fewer reach legendary levels of awful. Basically, anime is like everything else: movies, music, shows, books, and various other mediums of entertainment.

Maybe I've been on TV Tropes for far too long and I'm even more jaded than ever since I became a realistic pessimist. Maybe I'm just naturally finding faults in everything. Maybe I do too much simple research on suits, temperature, and health concerns before I dive into a public pool. Regardless of the reason, I came to the conclusion that Devil Survivor 2 The Animation is a sterile anime.

How it fairs as an adaptation will not be a strong factor as I have not played the game. However, I will stress a few things that rubbed the wrong way with me, still relatively new to the Shin Megami Tensei franchise.

To put it simply, this is Shiki meets Sonic Colors... with Altus and the SMT label slapped on for sales.

Great. Spoilers ahoy.

200 Posts?!?!?!: Update and Mini Rants

It took me nearly a month to realize how many posts I've published. Holy Crap. O_O

Typically one would say "Thank you for helping me keep this blog strong!", but I won't. I say it on every "update" and it's tired out by this point. Yes, I am still thankful, but that's not going to be the purpose of this post.

Well, I want to mention the state of various posts I'm working on or I've promised I'd put up. Then I'll sprinkle in some things on my mind lately.

'Oblivion'

...

I... um...

...

This is a first.

SPOILERS.

"Payphone"

"Fangirl, why are you reviewing pop music when you despise it with all your being?"

That statement is untrue. Pop music was all I knew for a decent chunk of my childhood. It was easy to find and nearly everyone knew the songs I was talking about. Then I hit a phase when I spent my days bashing everything pop music offered. Now, I'm slowly leaning back towards the genre to the point I can tolerate some songs or artists without feeling too guilty. Maroon 5 is one of them.

My dad and I adore Songs About Jane. Sure, "This Love", "She Will Be Loved", and "Sunday Morning" were played to death back in 2002, but these were strong, versatile tracks full of energy. This was pop music in which I could actually hear guitars, drums, even pianos playing. If I can hear any of these things over the highly produced and polished electronic whines and obvious autotune, I tend to be a happy camper. Songs About Jane felt so organic that it's one of my favorite albums of all time. It easily sits with Smash Mouth's Astro Lounge as awesome albums to blast and sing to on a long road trip.

Then came It Won't Be Soon Before Long. And Hands All Over. Maroon 5 took a completely radical 180 turn that rubbed me the wrong way. Every now and then I get hints of the band trying to be, well, a band again ("Misery" in particular), but they continue to sound like overproduced, processed sludge. At one point they may have been considered funk rock, but by this point, they are exclusively pop. There is hardly any "rock" left in them. And "Payphone" is only solidifying this fact.

The song on its own is decent, but I don't see how it's hit-worthy. The melody is nicer and catchier than most of Maroon 5's recent works, yet it's very... weak. Other than being childishly simple, the lyrics are nothing to write home about either ("One more f***ing love song, I'll be sick" and "I gave you my love to borrow"... really?) Without Adam Levine's higher-than-normal vocals, I could see this being anyone else's song. It's so bland that it sounds like Fall Out Boy's "Me and You" sped up and chipmunk-ed. Or maybe this was a rejected Linkin Park song during the Minutes to Midnight era. Even HIM could make this if Ville was drunk-stupid and suicidal. Besides, Maroon 5 was once so easy to spot in the sea of samey-sounding music. Now they dropped whatever potential for unique flavor they had just to sell out.

"Selling out" is an overused phrase thrown by angry fans once their favorite acts go corporate and fit in with the latest music trend. Arguably, Linkin Park seems to be testing their luck with this to not much success. But with the nonsensical "Moves Like Jagger", Adam Levine in The Voice, and a guest rapper in this mediocre song, I think "selling out" describes Maroon 5 well.

Speaking of the guest rapper, the verse is pointless and forgetable. It needs to fall in a pit and die because it has nothing to do with the rest of the lyrics in the song. Wiz Khalifa, thank you for making Adam's parts sound godlike while thrusting the quality of the song as a whole into a pile of garbage. One minute, it's "I have nothing left now that this is over", then it's "eff u, biatch! I gotz all did $$ w/out u!!!" Way to make "Payphone" a schizophrenic mess.

This is far from Maroon 5's worst, but this continues to solidify my doubts that this band can be interesting again. They don't have to try to be edgy, but they could at least sound like they're trying to have fun. Where's the energy, the passion of the music? Where are the instruments? Clearly they were left to die trapped in a locked box, or executives successfully drowned them in varnish. This sterile piece of "meh" is okay, but from what these guys showed before, this is yet another big disappointment.

Really, I cannot say anything more.

With Rap: 1.3 out of 5

W/out Rap: 2 out of 5

'Prometheus'

First impression: looks like the live-action cousin of Ergo Proxy.
After seeing the film, my reaction has only confirmed my guess.

Here it is. The supposed "prequel" to the series that traumatized me for years. Thanks to the Alien movies, I never liked the sight or thought of something foreign within one's abdomen. Of course, my dad, being more intelligent than Stephen Hawking, showed me the films when I was SIX, so it's not much of a surprise.

Even way before the film was announced, I had no desire to see this film. Not because of my mental scars, but because everyone hyped the crap out of it. As a result of squealing like children on Christmas Eve, everyone has their underwear tied into knots over how good or bad the film is. The reviews, ranging from "OMFG, it's glorious!" to "WTFH is this pile?", provided endless entertainment from me. After I read the whole plot summary, it got to the point that I already had an opinion of the film without watching it. Yet my dear old man took me to see it so I had a frame of reference when I rant about my opinion here. It's long overdue anyway.

So what did I think?

Objectively, it's not the worst of the year; the film is a visual feast to behold. But there are plenty of places where the film trips over its feet or stumbles down the stairs. Overall, if you take all the good and the horrible, it adds up to be... a bit below average. Subjectively, this movie annoys me more than the target of one of my last reviews. This film... and some of the people who defend it... piss me off to no end. This film drops so much bait for the pseudo-philosophers to binge on and claim the film makes so many deep references to Jesus Christ and Christianity. Believe me, some have written essays on what this film is about.

What is the ship called? Prometheus. What day do the crew members wake up from suspended animation? Christmas Day. When did the Engineers die on their ship? Two thousand years ago.What is the name of the sterile woman who just so happens to become pregnant? Elizabeth. What is that around her neck? A cross. What is her reason to claim that the Engineers created us? "Because that's what I choose to believe." What is that? Faith, which is simply belief without proof. What day is it when the film ends? January 1, in "the year of Our Lord" 2094.

Is this the only point to the film? Does this film have to jam the idea down our throats that this is something we must think about? Must we accept that a scientist with a strong faith in her Lord and Savior is someone we can stand behind as a protagonist? Must we accept that this film refuses to have their scientists - except the geologist - question the legitimacy of a "belief" held by said religious woman, supported by her jerk-ass boyfriend scientist? Should we take this seriously as a film that makes you think of mythological gods that killed themselves - I meant, "sacrificed themselves" - for the sake of the human race to have life?

Hell no.

I expected this film to tell a story, not a lecture. I expected a decent premise, plot progression, character development, and a resolution. The only thing this movie got right was the characterization of David, the android. HE had a legitimate internal conflict and throughout the course of the story he asked questions, interacted with the cast, and served a valuable purpose on the trip, while learning more about life. He was very aware that he was a created intelligence, had great dialogue with Dr. Shaw, and was the most active character in discovering the Engineers. It's interesting that the one created by humans is the one who did his creators' homework in finding their creator.

Oh yes, all the humans - ALL of them - were horrifically stupid. Even if the pretentious themes and intents behind the film were appropriate and well done, the characters were absolutely insulting. They were the black permanent marker stains on an elegant, finely detailed French dress. No one was likable. Everyone fit their generic roles in a horror flick. Dr. Holloway and the captain were the jackasses. The biologist was the blond, being the first to die in the stupidest way possible. Weyland was the selfish old guy. Dr. Shaw was the idiot. Everyone else had no name and was forgettable.

As for the plot... it's generic and bland. Weak premise for a sci-fi film supported by little and poor reasoning. Seriously, how could you conclude that a bunch of aliens are saying "Come to our world, kids! We have candy!" from murals around the world with a set of five dots in a pattern? Which of those five "dots" did they go to and how did they know?

Nitpicking aside, the plot was written very awkwardly. The dialogue wasn't bad, but there were many instances were I wondered if plot details ware missing or if whole scenes had to be rewritten. I'm not the greatest writer on the planet, look at my posts here and point out all the grammatical and structural errors, but I asked myself many times if I would edit the writers' notes to death? This movie feels like there are several minor scenes cut out just so it could be a reasonable two hour presentation.

Wait... do you know what this whole thing is? FAN SERVICE. Not the kind with half-naked women posing around or excessive blood and gore to get the hormones raging. This is fan service to the Alien fans by saying, "Hey! This is how the xenomorphs came to be! Ain't that cool?" This is a film with nothing but two hours of half-assed, horror-movie padding and unexplored controversial debates that have never been resolved ever since logic and faith clashed. All of this happens, and in the end they only show us a minute and a half of a xenomorph popping out of the abdomen of an albino Kratos from God of War. Then the writers have the balls to leave the initial questions in the premise UNANSWERED and drops a few bread crumbs to a potential sequel.

Oh, I forgot about the monsters and the horror aspect of the movie. It did fine. No complaints. I'm jaded by scary films by this point, and Prometheus was nothing special but not bad in that regard. No, the ending did not disgust me.

At the end of the day, it's nice that people can think deeply about this, but that does not make this film excellent. All the pretty visuals and the convoluted explanations cannot undo a film that fails to live up to the standards of basic storytelling. Ridley Scott and his crew worked their asses off to make as many allusions as possible that they forgot that this is a science fiction film with SCIENTISTS who cannot do their jobs even if their lives depended on it. These guys are supposed to be telling a story, not showing off your intelligence. It may say a lot to some when I say that Damon Lindelof was one of the guys behind the TV show Lost, but a sloppy story ending with sequel bait is inexcusable.

The last words in the film speak for themselves. The surviving members of the plot go off to find the Engineers and demand to know why humanity was created. Wasn't this question posed at the beginning of the film? If so, then that means that we have an UNANSWERED QUESTION. To everyone who said that this film has all mysteries resolved or is open-ended and up for interpretation... BULLSHIT. This is a research paper turned in on its due date with no concluding paragraphs. Your teacher/professor would slap you if you demanded that your work deserves an A because it's so many pages long or you tackled a hard topic. Your professor is not going to guess what your conclusion is. Your work is incomplete. You FAILED.

And it's comments like these that annoy me the most.

Person A: "Kind of wondering if [the Amazing Atheist's] entire review is a joke. Distracting us with a bunch of interesting subjects in depth, but ignoring the basics of the movie. Which is essentially what the film was: a lot of potential for depth and powerful themes, but it just amounted to a lukewarm film."

Person B: "No, they just saw it for what it was meant to be, unlike you."

"...many of you criticize the so called plot-holes and "unanswered questions". What baffles me is that no one and I mean no one here wants to think. Don't understand what I mean, do you? Take for example the Force from Star Wars. Why is it so awesome? Because we hardly know anything about it. Where did it come from? How did we find it? How exactly does it work? [...] These are all "unanswered questions" and they make you think and imagine, speculate and investigate. These kind of questions make the movie interesting and intriguing. The same is easily applied to Prometheus, - it gives us a fair amount of answers and clues and keeps us speculating at the same time. And for me - this the real magic of cinema. Prometheus is a solid and thought provoking movie and in general just a wondrous experience. I guess people nowadays are used to the facts that movies just give away all the answers and plot elements on a silver platter (take Avatar for example, - the moral is there but it's so straight and obsessive that it leaves no room for real thought. Awful movie by the way) and that's a real shame. As for my advice go and watch Prometheus with an open mind and be ready to think."

"I feel like I watched an entirely different movie from what you just described. Most of the things you say were holes or issues are clearly explained by the movie if you pay attention or simply put two and two together.  I enjoyed this movie for its meticulous sense of details, how some things don't click in your mind until after seeing it.  I honestly don't understand half your complaints because lots of them seem like you could have only come to that conclusion if you were either really tired or simply not paying attention to some things which either were explained by dialogue or obvious. (and yes somethings straight up aren't explained- Scott did say this was going to be a trilogy)."

"It's an excellent film as long as you do not expect it to a) be science fiction or b) make any sense on the surface level, rather than the symbolic level..."


It's good as long as you pretend it's not a science fiction film?! Don't deny what this film is supposed to be!

Gag me with a spork. I may have been closed-minded about this film, but I sure as hell used my damn brain to nitpick every inch of this pretentiously-wrapped and superficial film. You can accuse me of overheating my brain, but not for one moment did I stop thinking about this colossal disappointment.

1 out of 5

Watch it if you will, but I cannot give this a thumbs up. Do not trust your beloved reviewers because this film is too polarizing. Even Doug, Linkara, Film Brain, Spoony, and Brad Jones from That Guy With the Glasses, a site with some very similar-minded people, had their own separate opinions on it all across the spectrum.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Mass Effect 2 to play on my new PS3...

The Hunger Games... Maybe I'm Just Too Cynical

I guess I couldn't ignore this for long...

I saw The Hunger Games the other day... Where to begin.

I think may have mentioned at least once that when it comes to majority opinion, I tend to get very skeptical. When people were raging over the books, I backed off without hesitation. Twilight fooled me once and I was not going to fall for another trap. This series is more than likely far better written but I was not ready to examine the bandwagon. An overreaction? Perhaps. It didn't help that one of my friends obsessed about it, because I'm not always as impressed by the stuff she loves. I try her cup of tea, enjoy it mildly, and return to mine.

That aside, I heard and read everyone's outcry on the whole issue of a "lack of racial diversity" and "twenty black people in the background doesn't count as diversity." Because I have not read the books, I have no comment. While watching the film, I saw nothing of that nature to complain about.

Now, as a "typical movie fan", The Hunger Games was rather entertaining. The pacing and build-up was nearly flawless, the set was fantastic, the second half was more suspenseful than a horror film, and the costumes were great. The shaky camera was very annoying in the beginning and during some of the action scenes, but it did help to hide some of the gruesome murders.

The best part of the film was the commentary on the reality TV-crazed American media. Everyone is obsessed with sitting back at home and watching the drama, death, and violence the kids face during the game of survival. The well-off citizens in the Capital looked like overdressed candy wrappers in an elegant, futuristic store shelf. Despite how ludicrous appearances were, this aesthetic was surprisingly... beautiful. This was far more appropriate and tasteful than Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

The world of Panem is very easy to understand, even if you never touched the books. For all of these, I was very pleased. Honestly, I was looking forward to the later films just to see this where this political dystopian universe will go.

But I walked out of this film pissed off.

I'm sorry, who are all of you again?

Despite the easy-to-follow plot, most of the characters fell dangerously behind. Other than Katniss, Gale, Rue, and Peeta, I cannot remember anyone else's names. I'm not sure if it's the actors' faults for poorly enunciating (for a while, I heard Cinna being called "Sinner") or the writers' faults for not clearly defining who was who. We never get to know any of the other kids fighting in the games, except Rue and the generically aggressive blonde jerk. The former gets fleshed out too late, but still done well enough; the latter was essentially pointless.

Out of the entire crew, only Gale and Katniss made great first impressions through their believable dialogue. But only Peeta stood out as the most likable character despite his quiet introduction. Everyone else was forgettable, especially Haymitch, who only served as the stereotypically incompetent mentor. Even Naruto pulled off that trope better... twice.

Above all else, I absolutely despised every single moment Katniss and Peeta exchanged words. Katniss treated him like crap in the beginning for no clear reason. I get that she's not exactly into having a relationship with anyone, but here she looked more rude than self-confident or being a "survivor." Even when everyone tells the two to pretend to have a "star-crossed romance" for the sake of entertainment for the Hunger Games, I could not take them seriously. Their "romance" was almost at Twilight levels of aggravating and sugary mush. Though I was glad Katniss went out in the midst of danger despite Peeta's whiny protests like most guys are portrayed in romances, I struggled to contain my frustration.

*sigh* I'm just so cynical and nitpicky.

I'll pass.

Look, this movie is worth checking out. Seriously. After the lack of good movies after the last Harry Potter film and Chronicle, this is worth two and a half hours of your life. All my complaints aside, this was a well-made movie that's fun, easy to follow, suspenseful, and emotional. Don't take my mixed feelings to heart.

There's only one thing I know for certain. I am still not convinced to read the books.

3.3 out of 5

'Thor'

(CREDIT: to the creators of the comics and this movie.)

Rank: 3 out of 5 <-- a superhero(-ish) movie that I like? *gasp*

Superhero films annoy me. Superhero films based off of comics that never end piss me off. Superhero films based off of never-ending comics that suck... well, run away or else a mushroom cloud will consume you.

Admittedly I was only interested in Thor because of it being based on Norse mythology. The general topic always caught my attention as a kid, but in the past few years I have been curious about mythologies that often are glossed over (Chinese, Japanese, Norse, Finnish, etc...) I figured that this movie would at least give me a few hints about the Norse myths that I know so little about. When I came out, I still didn't know too much, but at least a few names will stick.

As for the film... I liked it! It did many things right that I like it films: the secondary characters were easy to remember (if only by appearance), comedy reigned at some great times, and Asgard looked absolutely otherworldly and gorgeous. On the surface the plot flowed pretty well for two hours and nothing really dragged. The characters were not very complex, but as simple and predictable as they were, they still were generally likable. Thor was even willing enough to be humorous at times, which tells us that the movie is an action flick where fun stuff happens. The special effects were decent as were the fighting scenes (too many close-ups) and the music was really epic.

While these work well, the overall story is just plain average with a fun and visual kick to it. Because these superhero-ish movies are not my cup of tea, I cannot say I love this film completely. Sure, the characters were not whiny and bitchy, the plot stayed somewhat on course, and I was amused. That's it. As much as I can say these good things, the film made a mistake that a good story should never - ever make. PLOT HOLES.

There are Ice Giants, but they have only twenty minutes of relevance in Thor. What was the point in having them? How did they get into Asgard without the notice of the guard at the Bifrӧst? What are the other ways of traveling between realms? Is this gaping hole open for a sequel to bury it or not? What if you never get a sequel to continue this? Explain, movie, EXPLAIN!!!!!!!

Plot holes, especially obvious ones, are one of the biggest killers for the ever nitpicky critic in me. Sadly that is why I cannot give Thor a higher score. But if there will be a sequel, maybe I can overlook the poor, abandoned, empty hole where I fell in head-first. A superhero(ish) movie that I like and saw how great it might have been if they took better care? *gasp!*

"Suck the Blood Right of my Heart..."

The Vampire Diaries. Twilight. True Blood. Vampire Academy. Vampire Knight. Moonlight. House of Night.Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Underworld. Tales of Vladimir Todd. Dracula. Nosferatu. And many more tales that I failed to come up with in... my brain hurts...

Thankfully in the past several months the whole vampire trend in the media seemes to have calmed down to reasonable levels. However, the trend is still seen as destructive to the dignity of the entire vampire concept.

There are loads of times when being a vampire fan embarrasses me; even blogging for a whole month on nothing but vampires scares me. (Thus, I thank my viewers who still stick around when all hell broke loose.) Out of all the posts on the subject, every single piece of media portrays them as dark, attractive, mysterious, and sexual creatures of the night. Wasn't it only a few centuries ago when vampires were unfeeling, heartless, horrible servants of the devil?

Though I can't remember specifically, vampires fascinated me long before Twilight. Brief mentions of such creatures in Harry Potter? Mentions of Dracula? Sights of vampire costumes? Mini history lessons about Halloween monsters? Debates of superiority between vampires and warewolves? Playing with dolls with my friends and imagining they had supernatural powers? Whatever sparked my interest (though I'm sure the Count from Sesame Street didn't start it,) I knew the basic, semi-universally accepted characteristics of these creatures: repelling from holy water, the sun, and garlic; drinking blood from the living; roaming around at night; having pale skin, fangs, and dark hair; and dying from a stake to the heart.

Because I grew up knowing this, these tend to be the limits of my standards and

I never seemed to mind the various interpretations of these monsters. Though the vampire mythology of Buffy is far different then that of Vampire Academy, I still relish both interpretations for the sake of an enjoyable story.

But I obviously will join in the traditionalist bandwagon in the crusade against the sparkling ones. Thank you, Stephanie Meyer.

To further prove how much of a sucker (pardon the awful pun) I am for them, I have always wanted to write my own vampire story. Maybe it wouldn't bring dignity to the mortally bleeding horse, but at least it isn't beyond dead completely. But for now, I continue to research, watch movies and TV shows, read books, surf the web (who says that anymore?), and use my noggin to create something - if cliched - that won't suck to the point of people puking out their organs.

Regardless, the process is moving very slowly, but having sources and saving them never hurts.

In the meantime, I still have to dive into several books that people have asked me to read, specifically Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, and The Historian. Well, I'll get there in the next three years or so at the rate I'm moving. Hopefully I can get something, somewhere one of these days: just as long as my blood doesn't run dry.

Since I didn't update as much as I wanted to, I will wrap up this month with maybe two more posts: one on a basic summary of the origin of some vampire legends and a review of something else. Look out for them, or dance for joy that the topic will get stabbed in the heart and sealed into a hell dimension for a very loooong time.

... ... ... maybe I should really stop watching Buffy. At least the title came from a HIM lyric... *sigh* Making references with no feedback is great for my ego. I have no life... *sniff*

The 'Twilight' Series

Being Vampire Month, you all saw this coming...

(CREDIT: why would I make such a series?!?!)

Rank: 0.01 out of 5 <- no words can describe my despair...

The very thing I fear in life is any kind of extremist. And I hate to turn into such a person if I say that this series is a piece of crap that should have never been blown up in epic proportions and that must be avoided by all who are vampire enthusiasts.

To be honest, every living person in this universe has already stated why this series is of awful quality as a "saga" or any piece of literature. In a way it is pointless to regurgitate the same excuses over and over again as to why this whole concept fills my heart with blood clots and my head with aches. But I will say that this series embarrasses me to death about liking vampires. It's so bad that even I fear that all the human-vampire romances I like are all just as shallow and stupid as Bella and Edward's! I even cry about it when watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

But it wasn't like this at first. I used to really like Twilight, or at least the first book. Sure, there are loads of bad things about it (Bella's Mary Sue Syndrome, Edward's perfection, the "vampires'" traits, the weak attempt of adding bad guys at the end, etc.) but the amount of awfulness isn't terribly overwhelming. There was something small in that book that kept telling me to read it, or maybe it's my subconscious reminding me that maybe I can find a guy whom I can love so much. Being a teenage girl with such thoughts is such a fun experience; no wonder we go through losing weight, looking pretty, and dressing nice just to find the perfect guy. "Bella gets a guy with no problem?! WHAT ABOUT ME??"

Regardless, the first book was readable... and had one great comment Bella made that my friends and I cite all the time: "Stupid, shiny Volvo owner."

Though I really liked the series back then, I remember almost nothing about New Moon and Eclipse. The former dragged on very slowly, especially with Bella being more pessimistic and depressive than I have ever been, and the latter overwhelmed me by its length and lack of action. Furthermore, the characters were never worth remembering, those in Vampire Knight were crafted in finest quality in comparison.

So what yanked me away from the series and discard it forever? Breaking Dawn.

Reading Jacob's point of view really showed me how ridiculously silly Bella dealt with her love for Edward as well as her pregnancy (another longwinded debate I refuse to comment on.) Without him, I would not have seen how annoying the storyline was getting. But what finally made me wish the series ill will was quite simple: Alice had a vision that the Volturi were coming. The whole "OMG! We're going to die!" melodrama forced me to close the book and never pick it up again. That's right: I could sit through the awful sex, the grotesque birth, the absurd concept behind Renesmee even existing, and Bella's stupidly unrealistic high hopes for a good pregnancy that only a delusional person could have. But that vision scene KILLED ME.

But the best part of this whole fad is the fact that it's considered a "saga" (JRR Tolkien must be weeping in his grave...) and is [or was] on every cashier, every store window, every "alternative scene" store, every item imaginable from candy to graphic novels... and EVEN THIS!

THIS. IS. AN. ASSAULT. AGAINST. LITERATURE.

I have never seen such absurd marketing in my short life, and I hope I never see such extreme measures ever again for the next ten years. At least things have quieted down since New Moon: it seemed odd that the fangirls didn't go batcrazy when Eclipse came out.

Without a shadow of a doubt, this series receives a grade far lower than Linkin Park's pathetic A Thousand Suns, which compared to this needs a 3. If only that Volvo quote never existed, I would without hesitation give this series a solid 0 in all fields: plot, characters, originality, research, and vampire interpretation.

Now if you'll excuse me, I will enter my insecurity corner where I will continue to be embarrassed of the fate of human-vampire romances. Weeping and listening to some doom metal might be a good idea...

'Sweep: Book of Shadows'

(CREDIT: book by Cate Tiernan.)

Rank: 1.9 out of 5 <- missed the mark

This time last year I was in the middle of writing two essays on witchcraft, and one might say the broad topic fascinated me. Wicca, spells, earth-based magick, it doesn't matter. I really doubt I would ever engage in it, but there is much I can appreciate from this practice. At this point I think I could ramble on about the European and Salem witch trials until you lost count of the sheep in your mind's eye.

I had spent time researching through nonfiction to learn about earth-based practices and witchcraft, but I never had the chance to find a fictional book about it. Sure there were TV shows about witches such as Charmed and Sabrina, but I wanted a good book about it.

Well. My wish was sort-of granted.

The Sweep series tells of a teenager named Morgan Rowlands as she explores into the world of Wicca with her friends. They learn it through Cal Blaire, a patient and accepting witch who is proud of his family's traditions. Because this is the first book, it dives into Morgan's self journey as she warms up to Wicca and impresses everyone with her talents. Predictably, of course, her parents start to fear her because of her involvement in "dark arts."

There is more to the story, but I forgot about 75% of it.

Nothing about it stood out and sticked to me long enough to continue to invest in this series. Although the author does write very well about her doubts and concerns about this new path, Morgan appeared to be an obvious Mary Sue. A Bella Swan type of Mary Sue. When she's not telling us about what she learns in her free time, she thinks about how wonderful Cal is. Cal and his "perfect nose," his "beautiful olive skin," and his "riveting, ageless, gold-colored eyes." Well, at least Cate Tiernan didn't describe the skin as "incandescent."

Right now I am sick and tired of the "gorgeous lover-to-be" type of guys in any form of story. Flawlessly beautiful men suck, and it's pretty true when a typical guy takes a look at the character and either laughs or runs away from girls who drool over it. Cal felt too perfect, too nice, and too laid back; maybe I overanalyze too much, but I could sense something was not right about that guy. Or maybe I don't believe in the "soul mate/true love" concept due to the shallow execution of it in books.

Furthermore, there were so many characters, whom I could never remember, and 176 pages isn't enough to properly establish a unique coven of at least ten teenagers. It's sad.

The points I will give to this short book is the information about Wicca seemed pretty interesting, though kinda made-up, on the author's part. (Wicca is such a broad umbrella.) Perhaps it was the only thing that kept me going and kept me interested. Otherwise, this is a weak and slightly-below-average book.

Meanwhile, I can happily watch Willow Rosenberg continue to study and practice witchcraft and not worry about plot in Buffy... Maybe I should shut up about that now. lol