Showing posts with label twilight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twilight. Show all posts

26 March 2011

"Suck the Blood Right of my Heart..."

The Vampire Diaries. Twilight. True Blood. Vampire Academy. Vampire Knight. Moonlight. House of Night.Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Underworld. Tales of Vladimir Todd. Dracula. Nosferatu. And many more tales that I failed to come up with in... my brain hurts...

Thankfully in the past several months the whole vampire trend in the media seemes to have calmed down to reasonable levels. However, the trend is still seen as destructive to the dignity of the entire vampire concept.


There are loads of times when being a vampire fan embarrasses me; even blogging for a whole month on nothing but vampires scares me. (Thus, I thank my viewers who still stick around when all hell broke loose.) Out of all the posts on the subject, every single piece of media portrays them as dark, attractive, mysterious, and sexual creatures of the night. Wasn't it only a few centuries ago when vampires were unfeeling, heartless, horrible servants of the devil?


Though I can't remember specifically, vampires fascinated me long before Twilight. Brief mentions of such creatures in Harry Potter? Mentions of Dracula? Sights of vampire costumes? Mini history lessons about Halloween monsters? Debates of superiority between vampires and warewolves? Playing with dolls with my friends and imagining they had supernatural powers? Whatever sparked my interest (though I'm sure the Count from Sesame Street didn't start it,) I knew the basic, semi-universally accepted characteristics of these creatures: repelling from holy water, the sun, and garlic; drinking blood from the living; roaming around at night; having pale skin, fangs, and dark hair; and dying from a stake to the heart.


Because I grew up knowing this, these tend to be the limits of my standards and


I never seemed to mind the various interpretations of these monsters. Though the vampire mythology of Buffy is far different then that of Vampire Academy, I still relish both interpretations for the sake of an enjoyable story.


But I obviously will join in the traditionalist bandwagon in the crusade against the sparkling ones. Thank you, Stephanie Meyer.


To further prove how much of a sucker (pardon the awful pun) I am for them, I have always wanted to write my own vampire story. Maybe it wouldn't bring dignity to the mortally bleeding horse, but at least it isn't beyond dead completely. But for now, I continue to research, watch movies and TV shows, read books, surf the web (who says that anymore?), and use my noggin to create something - if cliched - that won't suck to the point of people puking out their organs.


Regardless, the process is moving very slowly, but having sources and saving them never hurts.


In the meantime, I still have to dive into several books that people have asked me to read, specifically Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, and The Historian. Well, I'll get there in the next three years or so at the rate I'm moving. Hopefully I can get something, somewhere one of these days: just as long as my blood doesn't run dry.


Since I didn't update as much as I wanted to, I will wrap up this month with maybe two more posts: one on a basic summary of the origin of some vampire legends and a review of something else. Look out for them, or dance for joy that the topic will get stabbed in the heart and sealed into a hell dimension for a very loooong time.


... ... ... maybe I should really stop watching Buffy. At least the title came from a HIM lyric... *sigh* Making references with no feedback is great for my ego. I have no life... *sniff*

04 March 2011

The 'Twilight' Series

Being Vampire Month, you all saw this coming...

(CREDIT: why would I make such a series?!?!)
Rank: 0.01 out of 5 <- no words can describe my despair...

The very thing I fear in life is any kind of extremist. And I hate to turn into such a person if I say that this series is a piece of crap that should have never been blown up in epic proportions and that must be avoided by all who are vampire enthusiasts.

To be honest, every living person in this universe has already stated why this series is of awful quality as a "saga" or any piece of literature. In a way it is pointless to regurgitate the same excuses over and over again as to why this whole concept fills my heart with blood clots and my head with aches. But I will say that this series embarrasses me to death about liking vampires. It's so bad that even I fear that all the human-vampire romances I like are all just as shallow and stupid as Bella and Edward's! I even cry about it when watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

But it wasn't like this at first. I used to really like Twilight, or at least the first book. Sure, there are loads of bad things about it (Bella's Mary Sue Syndrome, Edward's perfection, the "vampires'" traits, the weak attempt of adding bad guys at the end, etc.) but the amount of awfulness isn't terribly overwhelming. There was something small in that book that kept telling me to read it, or maybe it's my subconscious reminding me that maybe I can find a guy whom I can love so much. Being a teenage girl with such thoughts is such a fun experience; no wonder we go through losing weight, looking pretty, and dressing nice just to find the perfect guy. "Bella gets a guy with no problem?! WHAT ABOUT ME??"

Regardless, the first book was readable... and had one great comment Bella made that my friends and I cite all the time: "Stupid, shiny Volvo owner."

Though I really liked the series back then, I remember almost nothing about New Moon and Eclipse. The former dragged on very slowly, especially with Bella being more pessimistic and depressive than I have ever been, and the latter overwhelmed me by its length and lack of action. Furthermore, the characters were never worth remembering, those in Vampire Knight were crafted in finest quality in comparison.

So what yanked me away from the series and discard it forever? Breaking Dawn.

Reading Jacob's point of view really showed me how ridiculously silly Bella dealt with her love for Edward as well as her pregnancy (another longwinded debate I refuse to comment on.) Without him, I would not have seen how annoying the storyline was getting. But what finally made me wish the series ill will was quite simple: Alice had a vision that the Volturi were coming. The whole "OMG! We're going to die!" melodrama forced me to close the book and never pick it up again. That's right: I could sit through the awful sex, the grotesque birth, the absurd concept behind Renesmee even existing, and Bella's stupidly unrealistic high hopes for a good pregnancy that only a delusional person could have. But that vision scene KILLED ME.

But the best part of this whole fad is the fact that it's considered a "saga" (JRR Tolkien must be weeping in his grave...) and is [or was] on every cashier, every store window, every "alternative scene" store, every item imaginable from candy to graphic novels... and EVEN THIS!


THIS. IS. AN. ASSAULT. AGAINST. LITERATURE.

I have never seen such absurd marketing in my short life, and I hope I never see such extreme measures ever again for the next ten years. At least things have quieted down since New Moon: it seemed odd that the fangirls didn't go batcrazy when Eclipse came out.

Without a shadow of a doubt, this series receives a grade far lower than Linkin Park's pathetic A Thousand Suns, which compared to this needs a 3. If only that Volvo quote never existed, I would without hesitation give this series a solid 0 in all fields: plot, characters, originality, research, and vampire interpretation.

Now if you'll excuse me, I will enter my insecurity corner where I will continue to be embarrassed of the fate of human-vampire romances. Weeping and listening to some doom metal might be a good idea...

22 February 2011

Final February Update

Soooooooo. Like the new layout? :)

This has been a rather slow month for me with my blog updates declining and the homework piling high with advanced classes and a term paper. *dances for joy* However, I am planing to make more reviews, especially when I have unexpectedly came to love Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the past week. So I will add my few cents on what I think about it as I continue to catch up on the modern times. Perhaps next month will be a new kind of madness: you all can obsess about basketball and I'll rant about why I am stuck on the vampire bandwagon.

But to save the trouble:

Edward, meet Spike and Angelus. Spike will put you in a straightjacket and force you into a grinder. As for Angelus... well... there will be chainsaws, fangs, claws, maybe backup from a Slayer...

Quite frankly, Twilight still sucks in my blunt opinion. I'll regurgitate the same reasons other haters made in a future rant.

March 2011 is Vampire Month on Rants From a Fangirl... WHOOOOOT!!!!!!!
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