Yet Another Guilty Pleasure: Romance and 'Yuri!!! On Ice'

...

... I love Yuri!!! On Ice.  It's better for me to come out and say it on my own platform rather than on Twitter or Tumblr. Oh god I can't make myself look up YOI on Tumblr or Google without safe search...

Please don't ask me to rate this. I've no clue how to rate it anyway. This isn't a review. If you want to watch Yuri!!! On Ice, go forth and watch. If not, don't watch it; that's perfectly acceptable. If you're undecided, well, don't feel the need to watch it because of me or anyone else who asserts that this is the best thing ever (SPOILER: it isn't). This is not a show you need to watch right now, because it already has deserved more than enough praise. SERIOUSLY, this show does not need any more fans and/or attention.

Yet here I am, a fan, blushing uncontrollably as I'm typing this. I am ashamed. So very ashamed. I tried to resist this damned anime, and I have never failed so spectacularly in not giving a shit.

Yuri!!! On Ice, you broke me. You fucking broke me. You have left my brain and heart at odds over your stupid existence. I want those 30+ hours and five weeks worth of repeated binge-watching back. And you owe me a million grams of insulin for the diabetes you inflicted upon me. And I need directions to the nearest volcano to throw myself into.

There be SPOILERS ahoy... if you care enough. Seriously, please don't read beyond this point. You don't need to see me at my most pathetic. Seriously, read one of my older posts instead. You'll get more use out of my badly written high school drivel than this. Please. don't read any further. I beg of you. Don't do it.

The Squees of Spring: An Update

Once I purchased Persona 5, I fell into a deep rabbit hole in which I think I'm climbing back out of. It's hard to say at this point since I'm still in the middle of being distracted. I haven't streamed or updated my blog due to my narrow focus as of late. At least I have uploaded nearly 20 chapters of my Persona 3 fanfic on a semi-regular weekly basis, though I had to pause briefly to make some additional changes to my drafts before continuing the upload.

I will keep working on my Mass Effect: Andromeda post, but with the three released patches and the news that Bioware's Montreal team is being downsized due to all the backlash and EA being EA, I still don't feel entirely confident rendering judgement on the game. My excitement has sobered considerably, particularly because Persona 5 is vastly superior in nearly every single way, and I have been unable to bring myself to complete my third run with my Vetra-mancing Ryder despite being 75% done the main story. That sentence might damn the game more than a long rant, but I have to be honest about where I'm sitting as of today.

Rather than focus on lukewarm topics, I'll share more positive news.

Entertaining, Erratic, and Embarrassing

This is the second year of watching E3 with my pals, mainly to pass the time and to take a break from writing my research paper. Considering it's nothing but a show for investors to examine and determine whether a major company in the gaming industry needs support or not, this E3 was surprisingly fun to watch... depending on the presenter.

Because I'm an amateur and a weirdo, I'll make my opinions on the three-day fiesta as brief as possible.

Some of My Thoughts on 'Daredevil'

Now that the semester is calming down and coming to a close, I find myself feeling too tired and annoyed to get any work done. That's the life of a typical college student, of course. But there have been times when I want to sit back and enjoy a good show, only to find that Youtube took down my favorite channel, the old talents at Channel Awesome continue to lose their luster (save for two), and Netflix has one too many crappy shows and movies for me to bother with. These first world problems are more annoying than critical, but I like to feel that my time is well spent... or I have the illusion that my time is well spent. Netflix has been hit and miss on that front, and I was back in a rut with the service for the third time this year.

Until Marvel of all things managed to make something that has a pulse and catches my interest.

I know the vast majority of the internet speaks in hyperbole and memes, but I'm very serious. This is the only Marvel "masterpiece" quality work that I genuinely agree as much as people claim. Kind of. Maybe. I don't know.

'X-Men: Days of Future Past'

Been forever since my last movie review. Oh well, this one makes me a bit chatty, so why not?

As a disclaimer, I have not seen any other X-Men movie that was ever released. I never saw the Wolverine movies either. I never even read the comics. To put it bluntly, I never had any interest in them ever. Though I took a graphic novel class last semester, I could respect the medium of comics, but I don't love them. I still prefer Japanese manga over Western comics. And I especially don't give a crap about superhero stories. The Amazing Spiderman, Thor, and The Avengers are exceptions, but even they did not overhaul my apathy for the genre.

So I went to this film completely blind with my cousin's son just for the sake of passing time. And in the end, it still did not convince me that comic books and comic book films are worth getting into. That being said, it does get a few points for supposedly being one of the least awful X-Men-universe films. Better to start with the best than the worst, I guess.

Some spoilers.

Four Early Christmas Presents

Persona has been on the mind all year, and it won't go away. Heck, nearly every year on this blog I rant and rave about something forever. And for some reason people keep coming back... I guess I'm not trying hard enough.

Anywho.

Ever since I joined a new Shin Megami Tensei forum, I've been listening to so much Persona-related new lately. The freaking out was getting pretty bad with rumors flying everywhere. So to not go on an emotional roller coaster, I watched LittleKuriboh's Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged as I played my fourth full playthrough of Fire Emblem Awakening yesterday. Once I got online today, I arrived in the aftermath of the forums exploding with conversation and squees. I tossed in a few cents on the new threads after looking up the new stuff. Real-life drama was never my cup of tea, though the place is still pretty laidback next to the rest of the internet. No bloodshed, no violence. Just the occasional poking fun at someone's alignment.

Anywho.

Today's announcements were what I needed after all the homework I finished.

'Mass Effect 2': Part I

At last, a Mass Effect title I can bitch less about! ...Maybe.

There is far too much to say about the trilogy, hence my splitting the first game's review into three parts. If there were too many unnecessary details thrown, I apologize. (But I really had to get the inventory system disaster off my chest.)

This game will probably get as much attention, mainly because the team you assemble is much, much larger. I'll get to them when I can though. One step at a time.

Heh, even after I finish this, I know I will have skipped over a ton of material. I can never win.

Once again I'll warn everyone that there are SPOILERS.



And one of MANY stupid memes that I need to reference just to shut the fans up.

Everyone, cue the infamous one finger air quote:

Now... let's begin.

Mini Shots: Evanescence

After many years of bashing them whenever I can, now is probably the time to be a bit more honest and less angry towards the band I owe so much. I have come across as a rebellious child kicking and screaming every single time I hear of Evanescence. Most of the time, my outbursts come from an irrational place. How some bands continue to get recognition despite boring both my ears off never ceases to baffle me. How some of the more interesting musicians do well enough to keep making music while others lay on their backs, basking in fame and glory while they mass produce thin-skinned balloons pisses me off.

Do I sound like a hipster? Hmm, perhaps. "I liked them before they were cool" is not a commonly used phrase, although "I liked them before they began to suck" sounds more like me. Minor technicality I guess.

In late 2006, this band saved me. An exaggeration to some, I guess, but Evanescence really did kickstart my changing preference in music. Pop lost its appeal to me at some point as it sounded very shallow. Whenever people would talk about the latest hit, all I would hear was about how the beat was awesome or the melody catchy... and that's it. Lyrics were irrelevant. The next thing the world knew, that one hit song would vanish into the trench of the lost and forgotten, never to be mentioned again. Why did such a music genre and its followers have such a short attention span? Were there any songs worth hanging onto? Apparently my dissatisfaction with what society thought was "cool" lost its appeal and I tried to find something different.

Evanescence was the first step. They were my diapers, my training wheels, my crutches... then I outgrew them. I could find new music on my own, I could try out other bikes, and I could walk without feeling intimidated. The journey was long and many changes happened, but I'm happy where I am. Now, I need to come to terms with where it all began. Hopefully, I can do this in a more mature fashion than some of my past rants.

'Fullmetal Alchemist'... in General

 I can hear it already: "Fangirl, do mean the 2003 series or Brotherhood?" Fans get into arguments about which one is better. Others just want a clarification since the two versions go in polar opposite directions by the end. Because of this I didn't want to cover Fullmetal Alchemist right away. As of this post I still have not finished watching either show (at about 30 episodes in the first series and 32 in the second.) So consider this a premature, "superficial" review/analysis of the two shows.

"Superficial" in the sense that I will not nitpick every nook and cranny of both versions. Furthermore, several aspects of each will be glossed over.

However, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood has the advantage since it closely follows the manga, which I read in its entirety. Maybe about halfway through this, you might already know which adaptation I like the most. Regardless, I will try to mention what aspects of each show were well executed.

The Hunger Games... Maybe I'm Just Too Cynical

I guess I couldn't ignore this for long...

I saw The Hunger Games the other day... Where to begin.

I think may have mentioned at least once that when it comes to majority opinion, I tend to get very skeptical. When people were raging over the books, I backed off without hesitation. Twilight fooled me once and I was not going to fall for another trap. This series is more than likely far better written but I was not ready to examine the bandwagon. An overreaction? Perhaps. It didn't help that one of my friends obsessed about it, because I'm not always as impressed by the stuff she loves. I try her cup of tea, enjoy it mildly, and return to mine.

That aside, I heard and read everyone's outcry on the whole issue of a "lack of racial diversity" and "twenty black people in the background doesn't count as diversity." Because I have not read the books, I have no comment. While watching the film, I saw nothing of that nature to complain about.

Now, as a "typical movie fan", The Hunger Games was rather entertaining. The pacing and build-up was nearly flawless, the set was fantastic, the second half was more suspenseful than a horror film, and the costumes were great. The shaky camera was very annoying in the beginning and during some of the action scenes, but it did help to hide some of the gruesome murders.

The best part of the film was the commentary on the reality TV-crazed American media. Everyone is obsessed with sitting back at home and watching the drama, death, and violence the kids face during the game of survival. The well-off citizens in the Capital looked like overdressed candy wrappers in an elegant, futuristic store shelf. Despite how ludicrous appearances were, this aesthetic was surprisingly... beautiful. This was far more appropriate and tasteful than Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

The world of Panem is very easy to understand, even if you never touched the books. For all of these, I was very pleased. Honestly, I was looking forward to the later films just to see this where this political dystopian universe will go.

But I walked out of this film pissed off.

I'm sorry, who are all of you again?

Despite the easy-to-follow plot, most of the characters fell dangerously behind. Other than Katniss, Gale, Rue, and Peeta, I cannot remember anyone else's names. I'm not sure if it's the actors' faults for poorly enunciating (for a while, I heard Cinna being called "Sinner") or the writers' faults for not clearly defining who was who. We never get to know any of the other kids fighting in the games, except Rue and the generically aggressive blonde jerk. The former gets fleshed out too late, but still done well enough; the latter was essentially pointless.

Out of the entire crew, only Gale and Katniss made great first impressions through their believable dialogue. But only Peeta stood out as the most likable character despite his quiet introduction. Everyone else was forgettable, especially Haymitch, who only served as the stereotypically incompetent mentor. Even Naruto pulled off that trope better... twice.

Above all else, I absolutely despised every single moment Katniss and Peeta exchanged words. Katniss treated him like crap in the beginning for no clear reason. I get that she's not exactly into having a relationship with anyone, but here she looked more rude than self-confident or being a "survivor." Even when everyone tells the two to pretend to have a "star-crossed romance" for the sake of entertainment for the Hunger Games, I could not take them seriously. Their "romance" was almost at Twilight levels of aggravating and sugary mush. Though I was glad Katniss went out in the midst of danger despite Peeta's whiny protests like most guys are portrayed in romances, I struggled to contain my frustration.

*sigh* I'm just so cynical and nitpicky.

I'll pass.

Look, this movie is worth checking out. Seriously. After the lack of good movies after the last Harry Potter film and Chronicle, this is worth two and a half hours of your life. All my complaints aside, this was a well-made movie that's fun, easy to follow, suspenseful, and emotional. Don't take my mixed feelings to heart.

There's only one thing I know for certain. I am still not convinced to read the books.

3.3 out of 5

BEWARE! The Hate of Sonic 06's Soundtrack Is Over 9,000!!

Sonic 06, wake the **** up. You are NOT Final Fantasy.

Very well. I may not have played Sonic 06 since I currently don't own a XBox or a PS3, but I can still take this thing on. I watched at least four walkthroughs of this game and I listened to this soundtrack for months. I think I have enough room to toss my few cents into the opinion cup.

So here it goes.

This soundtrack is considered to be one of the best of this franchise.

... ... ... ... ...

BULLSHIT

Believe me, it gets much worse from here.

I apologize if any Sonic fan is reading this and loves this soundtrack. I am shooting bullets at this cocky piece of junk, not you. Please don't take this as a personal insult.

As for the rest of you... I'm sorry if my rage overwhelms anyone.

1:43 - What is THIS?! Is someone getting MARRIED?! *flashback to game*

OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TT-TT

I'm serious... what the fudge was Sonic Team AND Sega on in 2006?! Why did they release a half-assed game with sloppy gameplay, inconsistent graphics, and a generally insultingly overrated and unexciting soundtrack?! Most of all, why has no one apologized for this train wreck?!

*storms away from computer, sits on bed, and meditates for seven years*

Okay, I'm cool... ish.

Pointless 28 second song is pointless!

I know making claims of what defines a "Sonic soundtrack" is shallow and stupid, but hear me out. Music in pretty much every Sonic game released was energetic, upbeat, or catchy. Even in the SEGA Genesis days, restricted by electronic bleeps, the music was still memorable! So what happened here? Electronic and rock still exist, except watered-down and lifeless. Other than an orchestra, keyboards, the occasional guitar, and woodwinds, no other instrument exists. They replaced actual drums with machines repeating the same damn noise over and over again. This is not fun, musical perfection, this is repetitive laziness. "Wave Ocean" is the prime example of such sloth!

*sigh* This ain't the Gerudo desert of the Zelda series... wake me up when it...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This soundtrack is just as long as Shadow the Hedgehog's with over 90 songs, and YET Shadow's music was far more dynamic and energizing. Sure, not everyone can tolerate the sound that appeals more to rock and metal fans, but barely anything sounds exactly the same! Sonic 06, however, decides to have five songs sound 95% identical. This is mostly cutscene music too.

Yep an official Shadow recolor. Didn't see that one coming...

No seriously. That's the villain.

I kid you not, the tunes that play whenever Mephiles appears sound no different from each other, except that one during the cutscene with the pseudo-Jesus imagery. (That's a rage for another day...) There's "Resurrection of Mephiles", "The Black Shadow", "Mephiles' Whisper", "Mephiles' Temptation", and "Showdown with Mephiles". There was a cool theme that was duplicated and raped for no reason.

Silver, why did you debut in one of the worst games ever?!

WAAAAHHHH!!! 

And for character themes? "Dreams of an Absolution" - as I repeated for months - is the only track that deserves your serious attention. The in-game version of "His World" - not to be confused with the superior "Theme of Sonic the Hedgehog ~ E3 Version" - is hilariously awful. I'm sorry, Mr. Ali Tabatabaee, but in this song you are a lazy rapper. Just listen to the Crush 40 version, which the gods have blessed in their infinite wisdom... ...only to curse them. Crush 40's remake of "All Hail Shadow" is absolutely unnecessary. Magna-Fi made it glorious before, so why elongate and weaken what was concise and full of life?

Look, I have no issue with orchestral music. Symphonic metal is plagued with it. Nightwish dives head-first into the orchestration so much that it can be nauseating. But for them, it works because that was their style, their technique from day one. The fact that they continue it may prove that they are satisfied or that people want them to continue it until they die. Here, in a Sonic game it seems to work in small doses, otherwise it will look like everyone is trying too hard.

"The Past", "Chaos Control", "Revival", "Theme of Sonic Colors", "Theme of Sonic Unleashed", "To the World of the Memory", and "Metal Madness" are some examples of orchestration done well. They fit the tone and mood of the games they appear in while retaining a reasonable bit of memorability. Part of this is because we will hear these songs several times throughout the course of the game's story at the most appropriate moments. AND the games and their soundtracks don't drown themselves in such music.

Oh no! The tears that will release the Nine Tailed Fox from its' host!

It's the apocalypse! Cue the organ!

Yet Sonic 06 flips the bird at conservatively using what could be beautiful music and decides to fling new "impressive" and "elegant" crap at you to the point you forget what the fudge you're listening to! There are 48 event songs out of 94 tracks. 48 EVENT SONGS!!! That compares to 10 in Sonic Adventure 2, 17 in Sonic Colors, 10 in Sonic Generations, 11 in Sonic Heroes, and 6 in Sonic Adventure! 48 songs make up MORE THAN HALF OF THIS SOUNDTRACK! And most of the songs ARE REPEATS!!!!!

Fine, Shadow the Hedgehog has 49 event tracks. HOWEVER! Most of them STAND APART VERY CLEARLY!!! And many were re-used throughout the game WITHOUT DUPLICATE EDITS on the soundtrack! For crying out loud, Sonic Team!!!! Did you make Sonic 06 suck on purpose?! This is overkill!!!!

*walks away from computer and screams off the foulest curses ever conceived by mankind*

I have a headache. Seriously, I don't know if this or A Thousand Suns is the worst excuse of "great" albums I have ever heard. It's hard... man, is it hard... I could not finish listening to both in their entirety.

Yes, I gave up once we got to the Town Mission tunes. ...And I skipped the "Accordion Song". I wish that was a joke.

The only good action stage song that stuck the first time I listened.

Before I get a load of grief for my immaturity, I will admit that not every song was a colossal failure. Other than "Dreams of an Absolution", I found comfort in "Kingdom Valley", "Aquatic Base ~ Level 1", "Boss Fight Vs. Character", and "Theme of Dr. Eggman." These are five gems that I have found in a sea of oil and sludge.

And I refuse to comment in detail on "Sweet Dreams" and "My Destiny". They made me sick. Thankfully the developers didn't want me to puke excessively as the former never appeared on the soundtrack.

This could easily fit with the ARK stages in Shadow the Hedgehog...

Here's the greatest problem. Sonic 06 tried to impress everyone with its "realism" in graphics, story, and soundtrack. It's like Sonic would be deemed childish with the presence of epic, in-your-face music borrowing elements of rock, rap, jazz, techno, electronic, and orchestral. And what was released was a horrible disaster. They tried too damn hard and this ends up looking like a wanna-be Final Fantasy epic tale with snobbishly pretentious and "I'm superior to you all" music that should NEVER be in a Sonic game!

So what if I got into the games via the GameCube? I still have a tiny idea of what makes the blue blur awesome in the eyes of his fans. If you could stomach this more than me, fine. Enjoy it because I can't change your mind. But as you continue to praise it, I will continue to condemn it for failing to be the best damn thing it thinks it is.

Oh, Crush 40... we miss you dearly, even if you fumbled "All Hail Shadow"...

The good news about this? Sonic Team never attempted to overkill us with this pretentious, pseudo-elegent bullshit ever again! ... at least after Sonic Unleashed. *weeps*

0.5 out of 5

Because even this is the Mona Lisa next to the Twilight "saga".

I need to go brainwash myself with far better thoughts... A part of me has died...

Why Are You Guys Reading These?!

Despite my lack of posts so far this year, I still keep a decent eye on what you guys read and how often. Everyone who provides some sort of entertainment has to do it every once in a while in order to see what people like. What I have found makes me chuckle, not because some of my posts were destined to get attention, but because I have no clue how some obtained so many views.

On one hand I am happy to see that more and more people all around the world are finding and reading my blog. I have no impressive following by any stretch of the imagination, but I love that my blog is not as deserted as it was when I began. Even with my lack of activity people still read my posts! Even if only one to three people ever comment, I still like that some people care.

With that nauseating optimism out of the way, let me respond to the feedback I received via some of my most viewed posts on my blog! By doing this, these popular guys will get even MORE views... I guess I should pop their egos a bit... What really makes me laugh is the huge rift between the top three with everything else. It's so weird.


1. 'The Open Door' with 2,290 views

People love my bitching about Evanescence.

I'm not completely surprised that this would get a lot of hits, given how popular and mainstream the act is at least by name. But like with nearly everything I put up here, this was something I had to get off my chest. Evanescence used to be my favorite band of all time. I still respect them because they were my gateway into the general genre of rock music.

I have outgrown them and matured... but I still have some beef with how outrageously popular they are. I have always struggled with accepting that some things are popular than others because of accessibility or money. In this case, Evanescence is just easier on the ears for casual music listeners in comparison to more enthusiastic music fans - especially of alternative rock and gothic metal.

Hopefully time will ease my rage. Or Evanescence can make better music.


2. Eat Me, Drink Me with 1,190 views

Wow, my old reviews really sucked. Not that I'm so much better NOW, but still... rereading it was not fun.

Anywho.

To this day, I still don't care for Eat Me, Drink Me as a whole but I think it has to do more with Marilyn Manson himself. I have listened to Mechanical Animals, Holy Wood, and The Golden Age of Grotesque and even those albums don't impress me much. Don't get me wrong, they have far more interesting songs, but the albums don't satisfy me enough. It seems that the man himself is far more interesting and entertaining than the music he makes. That's really a shame.

I still plan to get his new album later this year, but I doubt I'll really, really like it. Maybe there will be two or four songs that I will really love.


3. Vampire Knight with 930 views

One of my less painful old reviews, I guess.

The last time I checked up on the series, Vampire Knight was even more convoluted and terrible. If I were to review the series as a whole again, I would more than likely give it a 1 out of 5. It's sad that it was the first anime and manga series I found about vampires. Now I have Hellsing Ultimate and it's freaking a masterpiece in comparison.

But on the bright side, Vampire Knight is superior to Twilight. Zero has a better reason to be an angsty jerk than Edward or Jacob at their most melodramatic.

4. And More Impatient Fans Leave... with 400 views

Another Evanescence rant.

This was stuck in my chest for years and I'm glad I got it out. I did check Wikipedia some time before their latest album was released and I blushed in embarrassment. They went on hiatus because Amy had to set back and redefine Evanescence after the huge successes of The Open Door and Fallen. Having to step back, rest, and examine your out-of-nowhere success because you feel like you're running into an identity crisis is somewhat reasonable.

But I think my biggest issue - and many fans may agree with me - is the fact that there was a serious lack of communication from everyone. Other than firing the drummer and guitarist, no one knew what the hell was going on for several years. Even Ville Valo of HIM - who are as of this post on a "break" to find a new record deal - came out in a Kerrang! article around Valentine's Day telling everyone that he and the boys are still alive!

It just... frustrates me.

5. Shadow the Hedgehog with 390 views

Hahahaha... I'm in the process of writing a follow-up to this very brief and generalized review. I still love this game a lot, but man it has it's issues. Whether it's a good or bad game is pretty much up to anyone who can tolerate some of the stuff in this controversial mixed bag. The response to this game was one of the biggest reasons why the Sonic fanbase, especially the more psychotic fanboys, fangirls, and furries (not all of them but the worst cases), scares the living crap out of me.

To put it briefly, I can tolerate the guns, the missions, the music, and the slightly less annoying voice acting from the 4Kids crew. But I can't defend the writing, dialogue, some plot points, and "Almost Dead." Damn, Powerman 5000 might not be a horrible band - I hope - but I hate that song.

I may do the very rare, small wishes to review a video game in the future... just if I actually plan my points a lot better. It's not as easy as taking on an album or movie...

6. Higurashi: When They Cry with 230 views

This has been getting more views recently and I can't complain. It's a series I wish was more known.

I finished the series months ago and I really need to review the second season. Now that I look back on it, Higurashi is probably one of the best horror stories I have ever experienced. After this, all horror is bland and boring. Thank you, Higurashi for making me feel jaded.

The story is far from perfect and it does not have much value in re-watching it, but I sure had a blast while the mystery was building up. Some scenes still bug me though...


7. Death Note with 220 views

I'm surprised I didn't get trolled for typing such blasphemy.

No, I never finished this series. Maybe when I'm extremely bored, I might consider it, but it's just... urgh...

But I won't go back on my point that this is a decent start for anyone who wants to get into anime. This is one of the most striking in terms of production and presentation. I may think that most of the stuff Studio Madhouse made are overrated, the company still makes great quality work. And of course the voice acting is fantastic in both English and Japanese.

I'm not surprised this got a lot of views due to it's popularity. Though my opinion on it is rather negative, I won't discourage anyone who wants to check it out. By all means, watch it! It's just not my cup of tea.


Keep enjoying what you read... even if I never completely understand why you like it...

'Sonic X'

Found on mobianlegends.com
"Goodnight! Have sweet dreams!"

Uh oh.

It's bad enough that the Sonic fanbase is split into so many factions and the last thing we needed is yet ANOTHER show. In terms of likability the very general consensus appears to be that The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was a drug-induced wonderland, Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonic SatAM) was epic and short-lived, Sonic Underground was denied for its stupidity, and Sonic X was "meh." Yet in the world where only my opinion matters [but is ignored anyway], this was amazing... depending on the version.


Sonic X is a three season, 78 episode anime that debuted in 2003 and still airs in Europe and North America. With it being an undead zombie outside Japan, easily it can be considered as the most popular and successful Sonic show ever made. Seeing how much video game shows and movies are crucified for being absolute crap, this really is a gem. Depending on the version.

Yes, it really matters if you watch it in Japanese or in English.

The English version, dubbed by the Intergalactic Empire of Evil known as 4Kids Entertainment, is despised by many. If you watch it, prepare for the abysmal voice acting (Shadow, Rouge, and most of the human characters are the worst), horrible script with confusing details, and absolutely no death at all! And since the plot of Sonic Adventure 2 was adapted into this show, the once well-executed drama is completely childish, stupid and pointless. That's nothing in comparison to other cases. Worst of all, so much was censored or altered for the sake of Sonic X being "appropriate for children."

sonic.wikia.com
*Gasp!* A grave?! Oh, God!
The children will be traumatized
by the concept of DEATH!

• The writting is severely thumbed down to stupid puns, braindead common sense, and annoying tantrums by characters that had no such abuse in the Japanese version. (Shadow is significantly more "emo" in this version. "MARIAAAAA!!! T-T")
• The once decent dialogue has been completely deconstructed and built up to have little to no resemblence to the original. (Oh I don't know where to begin... how about from start to finish?!)
• Certain scenes were eliminated outright for being too "violent," "mature," or "depressing." (two minor character deaths were completely eliminated and poorly handled)
• Some of these edits are so obvious that many characters have completely different personalities. (Sonic is far more incompetent, Amy's more of a bitch, etc.)
• Must I repeat the voice actors suck? (Dan Green as Knuckles was a tolerable, but unfitting exception. And don't get me started on Jason Griffith...) 

In comparasion, the Japanese version is uncut and is much easier to follow. The adaptations of Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2 are very faithful and translate very well. This version of Sonic X makes fun of itself and repeatedly demolishes the fourth wall; yet it gets serious in the most appropriate events. Despite my not knowing a lick of the Japanese, the voice actors give believable and natural performances across the board. From a technical standpoint, this version is far more mature, honest, and open then its sophomoric counterpart.

sonic.wikia.com
Amy shall destroy all Mary Sues.

HOWEVER, both versions have a large problem. Sonic X is a decent piece of fanfiction: it has good ideas behind it, but the execution is lackluster. Character development tends to be an alien concept in more recent Sonic games and thankfully this show attempt to bring it back. Still, the cast is all over the place in terms of quality. The general human cast is practically useless and forgettable and it crosses in both languages. Only Sonic and the gang are the most likable overall with interesting interactions and conflicts. As for the human kid Chris? Typical Mary Sue in a piece of fanfiction who wants the fabrics of imagination come to life and befriend them.

sonic.wikia.com
Is it worth saving these humans?

When one puts this next to other anime, Sonic X is pretty bland and uninteresting. In a way this is an anime that doesn't quite seem like an anime. Season one is a chore to watch with Filler Episode Syndrome until everything picks up from then on out. Some plot lines are left hanging and episode 78 leaves a gaping hole inside. The animation is generic overall with some CGI effects and a low budget finish at the end. Numerous anime series are like that; however, Sonic X is toned down enough for those new to the style can be headache-free.

At the end of the day I strongly recommend every English-speaker to sit down and learn to read subtitles and watch the superior version of this show. Your intelligence will thank you for it. Sonic fans might enjoy the few music samples from the Adventure games that appear at times, otherwise it's up to them. As for the casual viewer, this show is not horrible, but not great.

sonic.wikia.com
Yes, Sonic, there are giant mecha in your show.

4Kids, thanks for introducing this to me when I was young, but man you love to kill any anime you get your hands on, do you? No wonder otaku and other anime fans avoid anything licensed by you.

Just take this as an introduction into anime. The action is decent enough in this overhyped but entertaining ride. And as a show based on a video game series, this ain't bad.

2.8 out of 5

'Anonymous'

Strikingly awesome poster. 'Nuff said.
(CREDIT: found on Wikipedia)

Shakespeare, a fraud? Try saying that to your English teacher. I know I did... playfully.

The greatest playwrite of the English language. Any pieces of fiction writen in books, sung in poetry, and performed on stage or film is subject to copywrite thanks to a dead man. The Einstein, the god, of literature. And it has been a solid fact for hundreds of years. Denial and skepticism will send you to the guillitine, electric chair, or the gallows.

But honestly, this whole debate about the authorship of Shakespeare is long and heavily researched to the point that an average human brain will hemorrhage. You might catch me spending more time in a library than the science lab, but even I don't have the attention span to tackle a controversy on life support thanks to stubborn scholars. I'll stick to extensive research on vampire mythology, thank you very much. Both might be overrated topics, but I have more patience with the latter.

Anonymous is a movie you should not take as historically acurate or factual. (For that matter, doubt that anything "based on a true story" is completely authentic.) And unless you are a Shakespearian scholar or history nut, don't overanalyze every single thing this film does wrong. Again, your brain will explode and I won't be there to clean you up.

To simplify things this film states that Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford was the real "Shakespeare" who gave his written works to Ben Johnson, who was to take the credit. But the real actor Shakespeare decided to take it for himself. ...It's complicated.

Standing on its own as a film, Anonymous is very entertaining. The look and atmosphere of London is absolutely beautiful - though the darker imagery made it felt more Victorian than Elizabethan, especially when it feels dark and cold all the time. (Even though I went to England over the summer, I had no clue the country was always like winter!) However, the cast is very good and solid with great performances. Shakespeare was an annoying drunken idiot, but he grows on you albiet very slowly. Everyone else... great. There is a lot of personality in the cast, but it gets so hard to remember names past the "big players."

The story, however, is a mess. The main cast is easy to recognize, but everyone's roles blur together and create an entangled confusion. Once Anonymous dives into the political drama - or "facts" - it gets really hard to stay on top on the banter. Some information was either extraneous or poorly conveyed to the casual viewer. Furthermore, most of the characters contradict their historical counterparts.

Worst of all the sequence of events were severely disconnected as the jump cuts jerk you back and forth between various periods of time. At first, the film was nice enough to give you the years but later you will be left asking "when in the heck are we?" The flow of time simply makes no sense.

If you can easily sit through an entertaining movie, you might enjoy this. Everyone else might bust their brains into the wall. As for me, I might or might not watch it again to pick up on the bullshit. It looks nice, but the storytelling is pretty darn confusing. At the end of the day, this conspiracy theory did not make me believe everything really happened. But then again I'm mature enough...

Maybe I'm too moderate for this type of thing...

FINAL VERDICT:

2 out of 5

'Elfen Lied'

And no. It is pronounced "lēd" or "lead" in leader, not "lied" as in a lie. >.<

(CREDIT: to the mangaka and the poet who wrote "Elfenlied")

RANK: 1.9 out of 5 <-- frustrating="">

"Don't judge a book by its cover." Damn, that phrase irks me every time someone says it. It's thrown around so loosely to the point that you just judge for the sake of forming an opinion. This time, however, that phrase is the best way to describe Elfen Lied.

This series is a literal disaster zone. Buckets of blood and violence with cute little moe-styled characters having their heads and limbs fly everywhere. Tons of fanservice and nudity more disturbing than those in shows like Ikki Tousen or Master of Martial Hearts. Excessive exposition, unanswered questions, sloppy writing, etc. etc. ALL of these things plague and stain the reputation of this series.

So why did I put myself through hell to read the manga? The anime was made before the manga finished; thus, to experience the "true" story with the "true" ending, I read all 108 chapters online.

On one hand, Elfen Lied, despite the annoying writing style, has a decently endearing charm to it that can be liked or hated. Like an amateur "theater group" trying to perform Shakespeare, Elfen Lied has such a crude facade that only certain people can overlook to find the quality behind it. At its core, Elfen Lied is about the pain, loneliness, and rage inside of a girl who fights against it every day. No matter how hard she tries to not kill and to live at peace with humanity, her powers and years of abuse explode and create an unwanted bloodbath. Yet you might be surprised of how emotionally attached you might be to Lucy in the last few manga chapters. Easily she is the best thing in this series.

Other characters get backstory, and some relationships are heartwarming. Lucy and Kouta's relationship went down a very predictable path until the last quarter of the manga, which allowed their conflict to end on a bittersweet, but satisfying note. Besides the main character, Kurama, Nana, and Bando were some of the most memorable characters in the cast.

Now, about that theater troop...

Elfen Lied is a good tragic drama with some really cool sci-fi elements that are easy to understand. That being said, if someone on this planet could rewrite the manga and anime by eliminating all the - pardon my French - bullshit, maybe this series wouldn't make people cringe.

The anime might be notorious for being extremely bloody (like Hellsing Ultimate) and full of fanservice... BUT the manga has an inexcusably monstrous amount of both. There are so many pointless and revolting scenes of nudity that it might as well be porn. I think Marilyn Manson's face would turn green if he saw this.

I really wanted to like Elfen Lied, even in the "so bad, it's good" kind of way. Yes, I cried a billion times at the manga's end and twice at the anime's end, but this series has such a thick, nasty outside that it might not always be worth it when you get to the good stuff.

At least the anime has beautifully haunting music.

Elfen Lied had a very interesting premise, with elements of sci-fi, drama, and tragedy morphed and twisted into a gruesome but different creature. With some serious work on rewriting scenes, humor, and events this would have been a more sophisticated work. Plus, cut out the disgusting fanservice: some of the nudity in later chapters were fine, but early on it was still horrendously overdone.

I don't regret trying this out but...*cringes* I seriously need a shower.

'Death Note'

(CREDIT: to the two men who drew and wrote this series)

RANK: 2.3 out of 5
Tone down the "god" complex

Just as I wish there were mystic beads to put around one's neck and treat them like a dog, having a death note would be kinda cool. I'd wipe out assholes, criminals, and anyone who "deserves" to die. The first victims on my list are those who personify the pretentiousness of this series.

Don't get me wrong, here: Death Note is not terrible. If anyone got a taste of what anime is through this show, good for you! (Yes, that's for you, Tenebris.) This is a great gateway into what is Japan's great medium of entertainment and art. Death Note presents itself very well technically with beautiful animation, brilliant voice acting in English and Japanese, and darkly atmospheric music. Best of all, it brings a great discussion of the concept of justice and morality to the table, whether you agree with Light or L's principles.

But that is all Death Note is. I am no expert, but I can see why some otaku run away from this series in fear or disgust. To know where I stand, my opinion of Death Note is less grudging and more tolerant than my view of Evanescence. Both are overrated, feel cheap, and seem bigger than they really are.

When you take out the debate about justice, Death Note is simple and empty for a thirty seven episode series. Only one conflict stands dominant - the cat and mouse chase - and anything else lies around as spare string. Since Light and L are the main players, the rest of the cast are disposable pawns with very little influence and relevance. The prime example is Misa. 

(SUBJECTIVE RANT ALERT)

Many fans have complained before, but Misa is so ****ing shallow, stupid, and fake I want to punch the "cute" and "blond" out of that chick. This might be nitpicking a bit too much, but for anyone who is or is not goth, does anyone notice how she looks like the poster child for a "spooky" Hot Topic advertisement? With her behavior, attire, and "air", she looks like a plastic doll with a billboard sign that says "I dress like a mallgoth, just to piss off the subculture!"

*sigh* Sometimes I seriously wonder why female characters are so detestable in shonen anime. 

(RANT OVER)

Watching this show was almost as painful as watching Paranoia Agent. Although to Death Note's credit, the creators  might had some expendable plot points and characters but the overall story attempted to make them likable. Yet at the end of the day, I still cannot bring myself to finish this series. The first seven episodes instantly engaged me and held onto me; but very quickly everything felt stretched out to the point I often asked "is it over yet?" Sadly, the interesting premise began running into a dead end very quickly. Once everyone noticed this, the characters slowed down significantly as new "devices" fell from the sky to attempt to delay the ending.

Death Note should have been a short story, or better yet, a thirteen episode series. If the story went with a different angle, began in medias res, or stayed with one simple plot, this would have been a more solid and well executed story. However, this only serves as a fun anime gateway to the curious, an amateur eyesore to various otaku, and an overblown god to the diehard fanboys and fangirls. Seriously, the series is bad enough with it trying to be mature and "genius", a particular bunch of fans blow it up to epic proportions and give Death Note a bad name. This is just simply pure fun, not ground-breakingly deep.

A beautiful anime with a god-like status that deserves some credit but needs to be clobbered every now and then. I will recommend this only for the curious for the fine presentation, but good luck if you like the premise and story.

Geez... this is what I chose to watch after being amazed with Inuyasha? I need to readjust my high expectations...

BONUS: Just in case you want a different opinion from a superior reviewer and otaku, click here.

"What You Want"

(CREDIT: to Evanescence... about time...)

RANK: 2 out of 5 <-- Try Again

After FIVE freaking years, Evanescence FINALLY released SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!! (yeah, there was "Together Again", but that's another story...)

My impression of "What You Want?" "...bleh."

You all know how I feel about this band, so I won't dive into what drives me up the wall. Yet my most viewed posts are related to Evanescence. Either you like to read my obnoxious nitpicking, or you like to stick to what's familiar. Whatever the reason is, that is an irrelevant issue here.

As a sneak peak into the new album, "What You Want" is - admittedly - decent on the heads side of a coin. Unlike most tracks off of The Open Door, a balance between the band and Amy exists in a more harmonious manner. In a way Amy's vocals in "What You Want" reminds one of Simone's in "Never Enough" by Epica (check it out.) This in a way is not terrible, because this single sounds more complete and satisfying than anything since Fallen. On the other hand, Amy still dominates so much that my annoyance meter is in the red. A mixed bag is the final result instead of an improvement. Oh well.

The actual music is repetitive and catchy, but not memorable. Feel free to sit back and listen to "What You Want" when your ipod is set on random. No harm done in such a mindless setting, but this song has very little repeat value. No new territory in mainstream rock has been explored, especially when it's needed in this sea of club songs, bragging raps, and tasteless auto-tune. Still, "What You Want" is not "Bring Me to Life" but maybe this marks a chance for rock to get solid footing again. If only Evanescence's new album doesn't suck...

I am not excited about it, but I might check out the new album sometime in the future. My cynical self will not be quick to give Evanescence any praise for originality and authenticity until they fully deserve it.

Once again Evanescence remains stuck in the shadow of European "gothic metal" bands with female singers. Almost every song released by this band can be compared to that of such acts. As a result, people place Evanescence in the same box as Lacuna Coil, Epica, Nightwish, and The Gathering and claim that such acts are inferior. However, one must acknowledge that Evanescence is a mainstream band, at most a gateway towards the aforementioned bands.

"What You Want" made a tiny scratch, noticeable for a short while, on my thick skin, only to heal without a scar. Take it as you will, because I'm not really interested in how well or badly it is received. I do not mean to discourage you from checking this out or having a different opinion; however, I have simply distanced myself from Evanescence on an emotional level a long time ago.

Geez, this song is so bland, I have brought little to the table in terms of criticism. In conclusion, "What You Want" is an Evanescence song, but there is little to no signs of actual growth despite the four-five year hiatus. It makes one wonder what was going on...

Now that this 2-ranked average review is over, time to listen to some legitimately interesting pop music. Oh, Ben-chan! Will you share your new single to the rest of the world instead of letting Japan hog it...?

"Rolling in the Deep"

(CREDITS: Adele. Thank god it's not me...)

Rank: 1 out of 5 <-- get me some doom metal...

Sometimes I wonder why I subject myself to such torture... NO. I wonder why I have to be around things that I want dead. I'd honestly love to pull a MCR "Thank You for the Venom" on this song so badly.

On the surface, "Rolling in the Deep" is a bland bluesy song with a woman with good, yet painful vocal skills. Right there, I am at my neck in problems. Maybe I'm very biased and closed-minded at times, but I'll admit this now. Pop can be annoying, but catchy. Rap and hip hop may be shallow, but there are a few decent artists I might respect. But jazz and blues... I HATE THEM WITH A PASSION.

Doom metal makes me dance for joy in comparison: jazz and blues are that mellow and boring as heck. Not one song in that genre has ever caught my ear and consider a new door of opportunities. At least with rap, there was Rage Against the Machine, Linkin Park, and many other acts with rap rock, which was a fun genre while it lasted! But anything bluesy or jazzy in nature has always made me want to leave the room or shut down.

Okay, fine. It's not my cup of tea, but is "Rolling in the Deep" that awful? Oh yes, dear friends, it is.

A few months back, my art teacher played 21 for my class one day, and I didn't think Adele could be an awful musician. But one thing that bothered me was how my teacher claimed she was one of the better singers out right now [... in the mainstream of course]. Honestly, Adele has a range, but her voice is so powerful that it's like a half-god lifting up a boulder and struggling to carry it for thirty feet. The power if there, but it's just awkward. In this song in particular, she cannot hold a note, have power, have emotion, and hold it all together in more than two seconds. Maybe it's all about style, but Lady GaGa can deliver her voice far better if we get rid of that auto tune. Wait...

Adele is not alone in the category of females with powerful, confident, and emotional vocals, albeit their genres are different. Amy Lee is such an example, although she can hold a note better, there are times when I want to saw my ears off. Tarja Turunen is another and far more versatile and controlled than the aforementioned; she can be soft and gentle one moment and booming and epic in another. I could drop Emilie Autumn here too, but her voice doesn't quite have much of a punch as these women. Hell, I could also add Beyonce, but let's not go on.

Subjectively speaking, the style in music and vocals make Fangirl want to sit through Ergo Proxy in a straightjacket than to hear this song again. As for the objective problems, let's see... The song is just plain average in every way. The lyrics are your typical "I'm mad at this dishonest SOB" and it's pretty simple and cheesy despite the failed attempts to sound poetic. They paint no interesting image, even with a "good voice." Maybe my standards are too high for a simple catchy pop song.

Then again, "Rolling in the Deep" is so average, even in catchiness, that I'm shocked that it still is so damn popular. [**WARNING: terms used VERY loosely!**] It's nowhere near as fun**, interesting**, or catchy as "Bad Romance," "Tick Tock," or "Fire Burning," which is also mediocre! Even "Hey Soul Sister," another song I loathe, is far more fascinating** at the least in stupidity! "Rolling in the Deep" might not be like some of the more popular party hits, but it still fits the other bland categories of pop music while bringing nothing groundbreaking to the table.

Overconfident, bland, dull, and annoying as hell. That is "Rolling in the Deep." And the fact that it's not my cup of tea makes it worse. Looks like at this rate I will forever dislike bluesy and jazzy music. At least I don't hate this enough to call it shit...

'Paranoia Agent'

(CREDIT: to the late Satoshi Kon and all who helped him.)

Rank: 1.8 out of 5 <-- so much wasted potential

An elementary school kid dubbed with the title "shounen bat" or "lil slugger" has been going around attacking people with his bent, golden bat. Now, two detectives are investigating so they can stop this kid from making any more attacks, but they will find out soon enough... that this case is much more than they expected.

(From Anime News Network)

Once again, my opinionated, cynical self cannot agree with the majority. This must be my destiny.

No matter where I went, everyone said nothing but full praise for this series and all for the same reasons: Satoshi Kon, the music, the animation, the maturely intricate plot etc. Everyone said that this show is for all anime fans to watch and be marveled by such a masterpiece. Everyone said how scary and shocking Paranoia Agent is because of its relatable themes.

13 episodes later. ... ... ... was that the best this "psychological horror" anime can do?

Fine, maybe Higurashi had so much show and bravado that this is bland and thumbed down in comparison. But despite how more realistic it was, almost nothing about Paranoia Agent scared me... or shocked me. Maybe it's wrong to compare two different series, one based on an amateur visual/sound novel and another made by a late "genius." Pardon my rudeness.

Well, I only found one critical review that had fairly reasonable arguments. That's a plus.

One of the biggest flaws with this show is the cast with many bland and irrelevant characters. Some of them appear for one episode and add nothing to the progression of the story; others appear frequently but never get much development or relevance ever again. Furthermore, they lack depth or at least one trait that can contribute to the greater part of the story. Fans say that the series derails from episode 9 to 11; however, I can call bullshit and say that things derailed by halfway of episode 6. The cast is so big, yet so pointless that this makes every character in most shonen anime (like Naruto and Bleach) look complex.

Plus, if you have characters this shallow and bland, the psychological twists they go through look silly, boring, or just ridiculous. Again, I hate to bring it up BUT... Higurashi had developing characters go through slow psychological torture before they went batshit crazy. Paranoia Agent just assumes we care and makes crap happen... far... too... quickly.

The final verdict for the plot? Average. Nothing was shocking - not even the ending, which was just more random than anything else. Potentially good ideas were provided but never went through. Possibly good characters were wasted. There were no plot holes, but there were lots of dead ends.

Might I also add that the plot is fill of "scrapped" ideas Satoshi Kon wanted to use for movies but never made it. Well, it shows.

However, to the show's credit, the animation is very good and character designs are very realistic, rather than going by typical anime designs. The opening theme, as stated earlier, is hauntingly creepy and yet beautiful; I am almost tempted to download it. Paranoia Agent might have been really random at times, but some issues were covered in a decent manner: mass hysteria, coincidental misunderstandings (one innocent kid was thought to be Lil' Slugger), split personalities, and escapism. It's only a shame that these highlights could not make a sloppy story get a high score from me.

I'm sorry, fellow anime fans. I tried to like this show, but it took far too long for me to get interested - no, I had to force myself to watch every single episode. Paranoia Agent did an awful job at "sucking me in." I'm sorry. But yet, I do not regret watching this show. This is something any anime fan should try out at least once and see what he/she thinks. BUT as sad as it is that it is out of print, I will not recommend trying to buy it at all. I quite frankly don't think I can watch this show ever again. At least I tried...