Japan, why do you always get the superior game covers?
A full month has passed, and the fever of this infection has lessened somewhat. I have a terrible habit of not writing down or documenting knowledge in my head, which has probably made life difficult for the coworkers I left behind after I walked out of a promise/job/contract for the first time in my life. Once I get the motivation to do something about it, oftentimes it's too late (see my STILL incomplete Mass Effect 3 review). I plan to avoid that outcome this time by writing down everything I can about my experience with Detroit: Become Human.
Although I don't want a certain active actor from the project to drop enough trivia and fun facts that may warp my impressions to the point I forget to be as impartial as possible. I do recommend watching Bryan's streams though. He's a cool guy. Until fandom bullshit corrupts him. Pls don't ruin his and his wife's lives, internet and fangirls/fanboys, I implore you.
This is the last straw. I’m at my limit. I can't take this anymore.
Fuck Disney.
Fuck Hollywood.
Fuck the trendy franchise addition.
Fuck the obsession with cinematic universes.
Fuck the corporate capitalist cult that strangles creativity in the name of profit.
Fuck Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
And fuck me for feeding money to this detestable beast.
... Feel free to keep count of how many times I curse in this post. It's one of those, people, so strap in tight. This rant-review hybrid is not for the faint of heart.
Spoilers, because I have succumbed to the power of the Dark Side, consequences be damned.
Once upon a time in the scenic but boring Philadelphia suburbs, a girl quietly took notes and waited for her teacher to return as her classmates gossiped and played pranks. The boy in front of her annoyed her especially with his radiant gold hair, light skin that tanned into a crisp Hollywood celebrity glow, and pearl-white teeth. He always sat in front of her, but not by choice; students sat alphabetically in rows for every period from the first day of the school year to the last. A jock and one of the smartest kids in her grade, that boy bragged about his supposedly authentic Italian heritage and basked in attention, adoration, expensive cars, and education awards. He was not the one she hated most in the school, but even if he was moderately attractive, she was physically unable to say a positive thing about him as a human being. She once slammed the back of his head with her history textbook for making an ignorantly sexist comment, shocking the class who never thought the quiet, muted girl living in her own mental dreamscape had a vindictive streak.
Given the right environment with the right people, that girl would rant and debate for hours on anything that she felt passionate about. Instead, she sealed her lips shut, kept only four friends, and navigated through eight years of Catholic schooling. She never knew what group she belonged to - nerds, goths, gamers, or whatever labels were cool in the late 2000s - but she knew herself and her interests enough to not feel completely lost when she was alone. After she graduated high school, she kept her friends and burned the names and faces of her peers from her memory. They never cared for her in school, so why should they ever try to reach out to her now? She feared that if she tried to remember them, hatred for them would fester and manifest into urges too "logical" and compelling to not act on. Instead, she poured her energy into studies and work to live a productive life, and she allowed herself to relax with entertainment to cope with emotions not respected in a post-industrial society.
I am glad Death Notes aren't real, because I would definitely be one of the worst people who could ever have the power to murder at will. If I did have it, I'd be fighting the temptation to get rid of any of my Catholic school peers who dare to try to contact me instead of targeting the politicians that have allowed the political, economic, and cultural capitals of the US to become ideologically cultish cesspools. Imagine Stephen King's Carrie if she was a Myers Briggs INTJ like Augustus Caesar and channeled Rei's stoicism from Evangelion. I still resent the people I went to school with, but I am aware enough of my feelings that I do everything in my power to not allow them to mutate into an uncontrollable monster that consumes me. That is something someone like Light Yagami would completely fail to understand... but at least he's not Light Turner.
Fuck. He looks like that douchebag I sat behind.
Oh yes, people, I watched the Netflix adaptation of Death Note. And I have opinions. Strong opinions.
Spoilers, if anyone cares enough about this predictable dumpster fire.
Oh, and as an added disclaimer, I do get a bit political given some of the ire American adaptations of Japanese fiction tend to stir on the lovely English-speaking side of the interwebs.
... I love Yuri!!! On Ice. It's better for me to come out and say it on my own platform rather than on Twitter or Tumblr. Oh god I can't make myself look up YOI on Tumblr or Google without safe search...
Please don't ask me to rate this. I've no clue how to rate it anyway. This isn't a review. If you want to watch Yuri!!! On Ice, go forth and watch. If not, don't watch it; that's perfectly acceptable. If you're undecided, well, don't feel the need to watch it because of me or anyone else who asserts that this is the best thing ever (SPOILER: it isn't). This is not a show you need to watch right now, because it already has deserved more than enough praise. SERIOUSLY, this show does not need any more fans and/or attention.
Yet here I am, a fan, blushing uncontrollably as I'm typing this. I am ashamed. So very ashamed. I tried to resist this damned anime, and I have never failed so spectacularly in not giving a shit.
Yuri!!! On Ice, you broke me. You fucking broke me. You have left my brain and heart at odds over your stupid existence. I want those 30+ hours and five weeks worth of repeated binge-watching back. And you owe me a million grams of insulin for the diabetes you inflicted upon me. And I need directions to the nearest volcano to throw myself into.
There be SPOILERS ahoy... if you care enough. Seriously, please don't read beyond this point. You don't need to see me at my most pathetic. Seriously, read one of my older posts instead. You'll get more use out of my badly written high school drivel than this. Please. don't read any further. I beg of you. Don't do it.
Enough of the eagerness and euphoria has left my bloodstream that I can look at Mass Effect: Andromeda a little more objectively. If I were to write a review today, I would align myself with those who gave the game a 7/10. By my rating system, that'd be about 3.5/5. Regardless of whether people think it's a good score or not, I cannot condone the gaming industry's skewed and bullshit re-interpretation of ratings for games, and I condemn the bombardment of low ratings from players who hate the superficial faults and call the entire game a dumpster fire based on said shallow nitpicks. Also, a budget of $40 million isn't that much money in the realm of AAA games, especially when this industry is getting so massive that Hollywood will soon be sweating bullets. Mass Effect: Andromeda's problems vastly eclipse quantitative numbers regarding finances and "five years".
THAT SAID. I may still say I love this game in many ways, but when I wake up and smell the coffee this game is a disappointment. Mass Effect: Andromeda took the franchise one step forward and two steps back for a variety of reasons more harmful than "bad animations". And above all, I fear the way Bioware will address these problems, much like every single major developer in the AAA market has done for almost a decade. Now that the Bioware Montreal team which worked on Andromeda is being downsized, my fears are coming true.
Without a doubt, this series deserves better that what we got, but I want to pick at the miniscule specs of gold that is worth preserving and improving upon.
Yesterday marked the end of an era. Today, an 70-year-old offspring of a human and an orangutang is sworn in as presidency in America's great capital with almost no heavy traffic, no Hollywood celebrities in sight, protests galore, an uncrowded broken subway system, and venues canceling events due to lack of interest in today's humiliating festivities.
God bless America.
At least now people are starting to wake up and fight back, which makes the world feel slightly less crazy than it already is. 2017 is starting off better than last year, so I'm trying to stay positive. Having John Oliver and Bill Maher back on air as soon as there done with their breaks will help tremendously. The non-profit I work for is planning to write up an open letter to keep certain conversations about issues going. And Chelsea Manning will be free in May, which is the best news to start off this year.
Anywho.
Gaming-wise, I'm pretty lax with the six games - including Tales of Zestiria, Hatsune Miku Project Diva X, and Bloodborne - I have for my Playstation 4 Pro. They're barely helping me get by until Mass Effect Andromeda and Persona 5 (the delay to add in dual audio and the drama that it caused baffled me more than anything), but now that I'm in love with Dragon Age, I am now in agony until the fourth game comes out.
(Thankfully I'm not foaming at the mouth and, AOS is right, but I am still annoyed.)
Music-wise, I got a Spotify account. I've been bored of my own personal music library and I'm too broke to buy CDs and iTunes gift cards at the moment, so this is a fair compromise. Since it's been years since I last heard them, I've been listening to more Moonspell, Eisbrecher, Pain, and Tristania. HIM is still touring, thank goodness, but waiting for their ninth album is also killing me. I guess since I'm not making much money, this means I can afford to wait until I jump onto another job with a higher wage. Until then, going back down memory lane when I listened to music on Pandora has reminded me that there are still great bands out there if you look hard enough.
Movie-wise, I saw Rogue One with my dad, and we enjoyed it immensely. Otherwise I have not seen many films as of late. Netflix's library hasn't enamored me either besides A Series of Unfortunate Events. I grew up reading the books, and while I don't remember much from them, the show does touch ideas that I remembered enjoying from the books. Part of me still likes the 2004 film, but this series has caught my attention, and I will stick with it. Not much else has kept my attention long enough anyway.
Oh, and I finally just started posting my Persona 3 fanfic.
As of this post, only three chapters are up, but I will try to post new chapters up weekly. This also gives me time to polish up the laster chapters as I tie the last knots of the plot since I'm literally at the tail end of the story. Feel free to check it out.
Yep, I am so feeling the love right now. I think I should focus on writing something constructive -
"Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma'sula e'var vhenan."
...
I do not like bald eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am.
Despite the usual stress of a humdrum life - along with my undergoing the five stages of grief over my graduating college in less than two months (oh superior being(s), I'm not readyfor this crap) - a few things in recent months have helped me calm my nerves. Job searching has been annoyingly difficult, but welcome to the real world, me. Having some outlets to find relief and escapism has helped me cope with more than just my lousy odds at having any kind of career. Look no further than the rowdy and colossal tsunami known as the American presidential race with the stupid orange-haired sub-primate who I will not name near the heart of the storm.
This has been the state of my brain for the past few months.
To give me more motivation to keep moving forward, I've invested in some basic stuff that I can use practically. I've been buying CDs more often than in the past since I drive more frequently for much longer distances. Though my music taste is still too niche for any FYE or Best Buy - and I don't feel like waiting forever with Amazon - I now plug my iPod in my car. Whenever I have my own place, I have some things from home that I claimed as "mine" so buying furniture won't be crazy or expensive. Aside from some financial lessons that need to be learned through trial and error, I can live anywhere in theory, which is liberating and scary.
Only recently I realized how most of the bands I discovered in high school have released new albums I did not hear one wit about. Perhaps I'm far more selective in my observation of the world than I thought, but hearing new Breaking Benjamin content for the first time in six years made my heart grow two sizes. Lacuna Coil's latest album Broken Crown Halo was rather dull compared to Dark Adrenaline but a new album this year will still catch my interest. The Birthday Massacre released Superstition in late 2014 and I've been listening to it whenever I can on loop. The lovely gentlemen in HIM finally found a new drummer a while back and they'll be working on new music soon. Having kept track of their progress on making Screamworks and Tears on Tape, I worry about them the least... unless one of them joins David Bowie.
To make amends for not looking into him much sooner, I bought his music, re-watched Labyrinth, and bumped his projects higher on my bucket list. Much different mourning happened with Alan Rickman though. Much like what happened during that one scene in Star Wars The Force Awakens, I cried like a baby the moment I heard of his death. Speaking of movies, I haven't seen much other than Star Wars, Crimson Peak, and The Martian. The Netflix selection has been kinda lame too with some of my favorites getting the boot for other movies and shows I couldn't care less about. The outlook for films this year doesn't look great either, so I might not go to the theater for any reason.
I'm really sick of superheroes at this point. Guess it'll take more time for the bubble to burst than I thought. Oh well. At least some aspects of nerd culture are celebrated in the mainstream... for better or worse.
Video game-wise... uncle. I bought Dragon Age 2 because an old friend of mine made a good case for it... and I love it. Damn it, Dragon Age, you won. ...I don't wanna talk about it.
Don't. Say. Anything. Morri.
To ignore my embarrassing and shameful defeat I went into my backlog and re-ignited my love for Sonic the Hedgehog just in time for the franchise's 25th year anniversary. I played through Sonic Adventure 2 for old time's sake and cried at the ending as I did twelve years ago when I was young and innocent and didn't know better. Like the music I was unaware of for years, I wanted to see what direction Sonic had taken - aside from the memes and jokes my online friends indulge in endlessly.
What I uncovered... troubled me. I know that reason and understanding can be alien concepts to the fanbase even on the best days, but I did not expect to see how thoroughly devastated the battlefield is. The Megami Tensei and the Persona "wars" spoiled me rotten, because I completely forgot how nightmarish the train wreck of a fanbase and the non-fans can be with the mere mentioning of "Sonic".
And that's before we get into the games, the spin-offs, the shows, and everything else in the franchise. All I want is to play the games when I'm bored, smile at the posters on my walls, and occasionally snuggle my plushies when I need a hug. The last thing I need are reminders of how the smallest changes can cause a fan to explode into outrage -
...
... Think happy thoughts, Fangirl. Think happy thoughts. It's just fiction. It's not real. Don't let your blood pressure explode over a fictional character you loved that made you a gamer be turned into offensive, pointless, shameless fanservice with none of the depth, care, complexity, and pathos you expected even during the Dark Age of Sonic with his game and '06. It's just a spin-off. There's no reason to go on a homicidal rampage over one of your favorite video game characters of all time who embodies the tropes and cliches that you can't help but love in other characters in all other forms of media just because one game completely fucks up his characterization and completely misses the point of who he is, his motivations, and his development from a villain to a neutral-aligned heroic rival -
Nope. I can't do it.
Fuck you, Big Red Button! Fuck you, SEGA, for letting this abomination destroy any dignity the real Shadow has left! BETRAYAAAAL!!!! THIS BETRAYAL WILL NOT STAND -
...
Aside from that, I've been well. There are a few drafts I need to polish up, so maybe I'll post something within the next week or so.
*remembers job searching and resume writing to work on*
Several posts have been staring at me for the past few months (i.e. Mass Effect 3 review), but I can't seem to get them anywhere. Instead, I'll be productive by talking about a few things that have been eating at my brain for a long time.
This semester has me focusing extensively on Japan: two history courses, a few mentions in other social science classes, and my attempting to teach myself 日本語 in my free time. So far I'm doing fine and I'm enjoying what I'm learning, and if it weren't for 汉语, I'd be more lost on Kanji than if I started from scratch. That said, having learned jack and shit about Asia as a continent of diverse cultures and countries has set me back tremendously. I'm still ridiculously ignorant about the Asian political scene, thanks in part to my being American and having been drowned in European ideologies and thought. Making any kind of comparison or acknowledging similarities between an Asian country and a Western country sometimes feels like it'll come across as childish at best and offensive at worst. Add the fact the United States downplays any kind of relationships and issues we have had with Japan at any point and time and I feel like I'm staring at a mountain too steep and dangerous to climb.
"But, Fangirl," you'd ask, "what's the big deal? Clearly you're putting more effort into this than some Americans, so why complain?" Well, setting aside the existential angst I'm continuing to suffer thanks to inconsistent and fragmented data on job prospects for college kids in the US, I overthink everything.
I didn't manage to make any progress on anything during winter break, but sometimes taking time to sit back and do nothing can be therapeutic. At least I made a few expectations for myself before I stayed off most parts of the net for days. This blog isn't "professional" in the strictest or even loosest terms, but I still should get things done in a timely manner so the blog doesn't die without warning.
...A pity I won't be able to play it for a while. My PS3 is still many hours and gallons of gas away from me. Even though I preordered it over the summer, I will have to wait for at least another month or so before I can possibly pop the baby in and play it to my hearts content. I remember Persona 4 Arena was rather entertaining and fun. Fighting games were never my forte or preference, but P4A was friendly enough for me to complete the story campaign, which was shockingly decent, without resorting to seppuku. Usual moi, I avoided multiplayer because online people will serve me my own ass.
Since I have no proper ability to judge a fighting game on any merits, I don't think I'll ever formally review the Arena games. Likely I'll judge them as legitimate sequels to the Persona 3 and Persona 4 canon. One of my friends laughed at the notion, as fighting games aren't meant to have good stories anyway. Considering both Arena games are indeed canon AND legitimate sequels to P3 and P4, some kind of storytelling standards cannot be outright ignored by a relatively flimsy excuse. Will it plummet the game's quality down the toilet? No, it shouldn't. But a bad story can make what is otherwise a beautiful, flawlessly technical game earn an "okay" or "good" score, no matter how avoidable the unpleasant features are.
Which is why I'm glad I'm not playing Ultimax yet.
I'm worried. Deathly worried.
...
...
I may need to amend my review score for Persona 4. I'm sorry. I didn't know, guys. I didn't know things would get this stupid... Reading the spoilers thus far made me realize Empty Spiral, my sleazy excuse of Persona 3 fanfiction for shipping fanservice, is probably better written than Ultimax. Shadow the Hedgehog is a classic Shakespearian character next to Sho Minazuki.
So much potential... obliterated before my eyes.
... Please let this just be a false knee-jerk reaction. Please let this just be Fangirl's overblown knee-jerk reaction. PLEASE.
The internet was full of talks about E3... three weeks ago. Rather than add to it, I'd rather talk about something that has bothered me for the past year or so. Or perhaps it's always bugged me and I had no idea how to articulate my thoughts on the topic. I try not to piss people off, but often I fail miserably. Thus, I will apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings, but I am not sorry for yelling at the company that made the first gaming console I ever owned.
I'm done. I am practically screaming at a brick wall within my own psyche by this point. I just cannot bring myself to enjoy Persona 4. The more I think about it, the more problems I find and want to bitch about.
But I'm done. Once I finish this review, I will just live my life as if this installment meant nothing to me. I will ignore the abhorrent concept of Dancing All Night existing, and I will keep my Vita's skin, even if I hate the majority of Golden's content. I can tolerate Arena because I get to see some of the old members of SEES again. I'll still play Persona Q just for everyone in SEES coming back.
Maybe one day, I'll pick up the original Persona 4, just to get a better sense of the gameplay. Otherwise, if I have killer hangover and have the need to be blinded by yellow, I'll just watch the anime.
Now, let's finish this review. Onto things I am more positive about before I give out my already controversial final verdict.
No build-up, no long introduction. Let's get this story tackled.
Because dear superior being(s), I don't like it.
SPOILERS, of course. I reeditted this post to remove my digression with other games. But still. Mass Effect 3 and Tales of Xillia handled their "big bads" better than Persona 4. My god, this game will be the end of me.
Please don't kill me! I'm back for realz, I swearz!
Looks like I got so caught up in vacation and breaks that... well... I neglected my blog again. Whoops.
Thus in a vain attempt to make my two or three imaginary readers forgive me for my crimes, let me say I have been pretty busy during the holidays. Real-life stuff, of course. Mostly enjoying a mellow and agnostic Christmas, freezing my ass off thanks to below 0 Celsius weather that swept the east coast lately, realizing my cousins are counting down the months to when they can get me legally smashed, lamenting my B+ average grades this semester, etc.
The guys at the DDS-Net forums are pretty laid-back and cool people. No massive wars started yet. No internet drama and bullshit erupted. Since it's still a small community, I managed to find my voice among a sea of veteran fans.
Not long after I published part 1 of my review, someone started a Persona 4 thread. I laid down my opinion of the game and tried to be as honest as I could. Within hours, people flooded in with their own few cents. Just recently, a few of us got heated over a tiny aspect of the game. Had someone not pointed that out, the discussion could've blown up into full-scale war.
It's funny how I am most experienced with the Persona series, but I have more in common with those who like other SMT games.
I have... TONS of issues with this game. Let's say that this can be the ending of Mass Effect 3 levels of rage.
I really need to get this off my chest. All progress on my review is on halt because of my emotions. I cannot make any progress and cover Persona 4 objectively without tossing out moldy food from the fridge. I have so much beef over so many things so trivial that I have no idea how to not make an unfair, unbalanced review. And I swear to God this is the last teaser for the review! I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry, I am so very sorry!! So let me just say this stuff now before we get another Persona 3, Part 4.
I am glad Gamestop charged $50 for Persona 4 a few years ago. It would have been a big mistake to invest in it that soon. Because if you are interested in Atlus and their Shin Megami Tensei franchise like I was, Persona 4 and Persona 4 Golden are the worst gateway games to try first.
Before anyone makes a doll of Fangirl and starts tearing her limbs off... HEAR ME OUT.
Once upon a time in the scenic but boring Philadelphia suburbs, a girl quietly took notes and waited for her teacher to return as her classmates gossiped and played pranks. The boy in front of her annoyed her especially with his radiant gold hair, light skin that tanned into a crisp Hollywood celebrity glow, and pearl-white teeth. He always sat in front of her, but not by choice; students sat alphabetically in rows for every period from the first day of the school year to the last. A jock and one of the smartest kids in her grade, that boy bragged about his supposedly authentic Italian heritage and basked in attention, adoration, expensive cars, and education awards. He was not the one she hated most in the school, but even if he was moderately attractive, she was physically unable to say a positive thing about him as a human being. She once slammed the back of his head with her history textbook for making an ignorantly sexist comment, shocking the class who never thought the quiet, muted girl living in her own mental dreamscape had a vindictive streak.
To make amends for not looking into him much sooner, I bought his music, re-watched Labyrinth, and bumped his projects higher on my bucket list. Much different mourning happened with Alan Rickman though. Much like what happened during that one scene in Star Wars The Force Awakens, I cried like a baby the moment I heard of his death. Speaking of movies, I haven't seen much other than Star Wars, Crimson Peak, and The Martian. The Netflix selection has been kinda lame too with some of my favorites getting the boot for other movies and shows I couldn't care less about. The outlook for films this year doesn't look great either, so I might not go to the theater for any reason.
