Mass Effect: Andromeda ~ The First 15 Hours

I am so happy right now. My grin is bigger and wider than my face. Considering how stressful the past year has been, this is exactly what I needed. If nothing else, Mass Effect: Andromeda has consumed my life enough that I have walked into work completely exhausted and tired three days in a row. And it was worth it.

Four years life through college later and the waiting is over at last. Finally. Fucking finally.

Since I am still relatively close to the beginning of the game (over 15 hours and nearly 20% complete according to my save file as of my writing this), I will make a multi-bullet-pointed first impressions post. Twitter does not accommodate my gift in writing essays, and my poor baby needs some love, so blog away I shall!

Minor spoilers ahoy!

Making Adjustments and Testing the Streams

Over the past few years, I've been struggling with finding a way to express myself that I am comfortable with and not feel bored in the process. This blog has helped me a lot in high school, but I know I've been neglecting it due to my personal insecurities and the changes in my personal life. It doesn't help that college was just a busy time for me in general. The timing couldn't be more perfect: last year, when my activity here was at an all-time low, I had the most visitors.

There went a window of opportunity and growth that I missed.

Anywho. Since I graduated from college almost a year ago, and the possibilities are endless, I'm now trying to change how I approach my hobbies to see if I can do anything with them besides hiding in a corner and wailing. I started by posting my fanfic, Through the Empty Spiral, over a month ago on a semi-weekly basis. I can't be a better writer unless it's out there to get praise or ridicule. There are still a few posts I have not yet published, and I want to work on them so fewer untouched items sit at the bottom of the basket.

Also, I have started to make some use out of my Twitch account last week. 

Yep. I dabbled in streaming. By myself. While sober.

Me. Doing anything based in video. Me, who had two panic attacks in my public speaking course in my freshman year and somehow still got a B. The me who stutters and rambles if I don't have a script handy. The me who has no following whatsoever and pretends that at least one person likes what I say on this vast, open, wild and free country known as the internet.

Past me would hate current me for my nerve.

Well, time and events do change people. The me from 2010 would not recognize the me of 2017. Honestly, not changing would have made me an insufferable person, and I still have enough energy in me to make changes and improvements when necessary and practical. If writing alone isn't enough to get me excited or to motivate me to learn, well, I do the very thing that I once claimed I would never, ever attempt.

(But there were those handful of times I did appear in a friend's streams, but I don't count them much.)

In my personal experience, being late to hop onto the bandwagon is better than never. There are still a lot of kinks to iron out with streaming (some of which can't be avoided due to my less than perfect internet connection and the PS4 not being a PC powerhouse), but I thought, "Why the fuck not? Try it out and see if you like it. If it works out, that's awesome; if not, at least you tested your limits." As of this post, I have two sessions saved on my Twitch archive, and once they vanish thanks to the 14-day limit they will sit on the Youtube account I have thanks to Google. I doubt anything will come out of this, but I'm willing to try a medium outside of my comfort zone. Writing comes much more naturally to me than speaking or making videos, so this unmarked territory will bring all sorts of challenges I never had the chance to know about or attempt to overcome.

I am uncertain how things will play out this year, especially when my current job will end this July and finding a new one will be me fighting the same anxiety demon as I did last summer. If this helps keep me sane and I learn a few things about myself along the way, then I'll feel like I accomplished something.

In the meantime Mass Effect Andromeda comes out nine days from now, and my bank account hates me for it. I will likely be off the map for a while, gushing and squeeing over the return to the world of Mass Effect in a new, refreshing way, but when in doubt, I will likely say something on Twitter.

Maybe if I'm ballsy enough, I might stream a bit of Andromeda... as soon as I make changes to the resolution and fix the audio. And pray my internet doesn't crap out on me. Baby steps, me, baby steps...

... March 21, come quicker, damn it!

Where the Heck Were You, Fangirl?

Long time, no update! :)

I'm currently studying for my midterm exams, but I have some time for this. :)
So... what have I been up to?

Another Piece of Art Finished

Right before I went off to college, I had my last weekend art lesson, which I had attended for nearly seven years. Typically I work on a big project and it takes many months to finish. My last piece was extremely detailed, and a bit annoying.

When I visited home, my mom had it framed and it looks amazing. I forgot my camera, and all I had were photos of it I took right after my last lesson.

Acrylic paint. I tried watercolor at first, but it ended in failure. Ever since I was a young kid, I always hated watercolor painting. Thankfully after the change, I was able to complete this. :)

Living on my Own...

I have settled in reletively fine. Even though I never had siblings, my roommate and I get along pretty well. We snark, bicker, joke around, all that fun stuff.

The puppy hates waking up, shit happens, and the bed is unmade.
A perfect morning sight! 

Our room is evenly separated so we each have our own side. Sadly, though, things can get... messy. My side is presentable enough, but sometimes its hard to enter the room sometimes, you know? She has a lot more things than I do and has a hard time finding a place to put everything. She tries to not let it get too out of control, so I don't let it bug me.

Food on the other hand... my roommate and I keep getting so much food because some people think we are starving and have no access to nutrition. And apparently some think I'm losing weight... so they give me Oreos. =_='

The only place where I can be sloppy.

Socially, I'm doing a lot better than I expected. No wonder people hate high school so much, college is so much better! I get along with a good number of the girls on my floor pretty well. I have several people to hang out with in case person A or B is in a meeting or is studying. While I've been pretty low-key with certain activities, I'm trying to stabilize everything that is manditory to my staying in the institution. Socialization always came second or third, and I keep it that way.

Nearly everyone I know loves this poster. It's got so much charm to it! 

"If you've got human chorionic gonadotropin in your system, produced by the newly forming placenta - well, by golly, you're knocked up!"

Still Obsessed with That Overrated Sci-Fi Drama?

ABSOLUTELY.

When I went home a few weeks ago, I quickly bought the Leviathan downloadable content and immediately played it. I was tired of waiting for it and I was completely satisfied. Since then, I have been rereading the Mass Effect wiki site's articles and discussion pages. Even TvTropes is an addicting wonderland, and it has a TON of ME notes and topics to read for HOURS.

These daily activities have made my PS3 withdrawal more unbearable.

Meanwhile, Mass Effect 2's soundtrack has been purchased from iTunes to my library recently, and I had ME3's free with the collector's edition of the game. Now, I'm thinking of buying an N7 sweatshirt from BioWare's website. Better get to it.

me wantz badly... $_@

You know how girls are obsessive with things like shoes or make-up and want a massive collection? That's me with scarves and sweatshirts (I have a HIM sweatshirt that's near the end of its life and a scarf.) You can never run out and they keep you warm. ^_^

Also... I am so psyched for the Mass Effect Trilogy. I can play ME1 on my PS3!! No need to tweak my computer!! XD

Pandora Has Yet Another Box

I made a separate Pandora account not too long ago, so I can experiment with different stations. You can only have about 100 stations, and my old account has somewhere between 50 and 60. As away for me to start from scratch, I've been trying out fun., a-ha, and a 90's pop station. Though "Some Nights" is an awesome song, fun. is just a "meh" band. Maybe it's because they have some association with Paramore, a band I happen to despise.

After being stuck with a bunch of different people for nearly two months, I'm starting to go back to things I enjoyed as a kid. Heck, we all pretty much feel like kids. My roommate was sick the other day and watched shows on the Disney Channel and The Lizzy McGuire Movie. Some of us bought stuffed animals, hoola-hoops, even *NYNSC CDs. Heck, I found a few people who actually liked Hillary Duff when they were younger! (This one admits to still liking her music... >.<)

There's one thing I have learned while here, this world is a lot smaller than I thought. o_O


Now, though, I have to go back to studying for my midterm exams. It's not fun. :/
But I am still alive, guys. I'm still alive... :)

Mini Shots: 'Mass Effect'

After spending all of July glued to the coach and oblivious to my blog's existence, I have returned and am as (in)sane as usual. By now I think I have nearly maxed out my fun with my presents so I can move on to college life and not cry myself to sleep. I simply enjoyed not having a life while it lasted.

But now I present some kind of material for the first time in a billion years!

It seems like it was only yesterday when gamers went insane for Mass Effect 3, only for all hopes and dreams to be crushed by the almighty power of EA. How could I have avoided any comments about this series? March was swamped by the fury of raging, homicidal fans crying "BETRAYAL!!!" This circus was too entertaining to avoid!


Alas, I'm a suicidal masochist.

After so many warnings, clearly I am an idiot.

*sigh* Here I am starting yet another collection of pointless merchandise for the sake of indulging my selfish desires. All I'm missing are T-shirts with quotes or running gags. The world warned me that I was putting myself in the same position as every other fan who got punk'd. Suddenly, money vanished from my pockets and all this crap landed on my doorstep.

All joking aside, there are a few things I want to address since anyone who sees the words "mass effect" will probe me with the same old questions. There is a crapload of stuff I could say about the franchise, so I have to severely restrict myself. This is NOT a review; that may not happen until everything sinks in for several months.

Mass Effect 1

This? A space opera? I have dismissed that claim!

Because Microsoft has always made devices that want to plant seeds of hatred in my disposition, I have never played the first game. However, I have been planning to set up my laptop so it can run like a PC so I might have a chance of playing it. It will take a while for me to get this set up, but I do plan to play it somewhere down the line.

Long before I bought ME2, I watched various people play this so I can better understand the plot, characters, politics, terminology, and all that other detailed stuff. Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that most Youtubers who uploaded their sessions have no damn clue how to edit out the dumbest mistakes they make. All these awkward let's plays and walkthroughs were long and torturous. Somehow I made it through... and vowed that I will play it so only I can see my first-time-player stupidity.

Obviously, I enjoyed it enough that I made it to this point, so the pain was worth it. It's only a shame the sequels released on the PS3 force me to miss out on some of the overly-long gags from the first game's side missions.

Mass Effect 2

I love these misfits... well, all but three.

The game that picked up so many perfect scores that Fangirl should be furious at such insanity! Well, yes, it is outrageous that Mass Effect 2 received as much ass-kissing as it got. To be honest, it has some technical issues that rub me the wrong way. (i.e. Sonic 06 has shorter and far less annoying loading times. Let that sink in for a moment.) It didn't change the fact that the game is ridiculously fun. It may be like a "filler episode", but I came to like nearly all of the 12 squadmates I recruited. Since this game gave me the time to get to really know the characters, this narrative was extremely satisfying in the long term.

Getting used to the controls, however, was not fun. Fangirl has now caught up with the times and has learned how to play a shooter. Yay. =_=

Mass Effect 3

The giant space cthulhus have arrived!!

Better controls, better conversations, better graphics, better load times, and a great experience... until the last twenty minutes of the game.

This is far more polished than its brother, while getting back on the same track in terms of tone and narrative as the first game. Everything was so well done that I cried just as hard as when I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I was a sobbing baby for 34 hours and I regret none of it. After all of this, I can happily say that the Mass Effect trilogy finally got me to appreciate role-playing games. The only problem is to find another RPG to care about... with an ending that doesn't cause an internet wildfire.

The Ending(s) [or lack thereof... kind of]

No, you little punk. It was your fault Marauder Shields died!

This may get complicated....
**Spoiler Warning**

Heads up, everyone. Everything about the endings has some trace of BULLSHIT in it.

That one Destroy ending in which Commander Shepard takes half a breath before the screen turns black? Bullshit. Either commit to the character being dead or returning to the Normandy and high-fiving every one of those loyal misfits who stood by Shepard through hell and back. And just because it's the one ending where Shepard lives, that does not automatically mean it's the best ending.

None of the endings reflect upon the ideas discussed throughout the course of the trilogy? Bullshit. Destroy the Reapers? That was the reason why Shepard had to unite the galaxy. Control the Reapers? Cerberus and the Illusive Man obsessed about it. Synthesis of organic and synthetic life? Didn't Saren mention something about that in the first game? I would not argue that the ideas are ass pulls, but that the writing team poorly explained these ideas to create a cohesive and acceptable conclusion. (i.e. What is this "new genetic makeup" of all life in the Synthesis ending? Why do all artificial and virtual intelligences die with the Reapers in Destroy?)

Forcing a condition on someone against his or her will is what makes Synthesis and Control the worst choices. Uh, what? No matter which option you pick you either A) exterminate an entire race of beings, regardless of their morality, and/or B) force an entire new way of life on the galaxy. No matter the option, you are playing god, forcing your will upon every living thing in the galaxy. Free will is completely ignored. This argument is absurd.

The creators cannot coexist peacefully with the created? Well, if you, like some players, busted your butt to end the quarian-geth subplot without one group or the other facing extinction head-first... uh, bullshit. Even with the Extended Cut, it would have been so nice if Shepard would point out that he/she did manage to resolve that conflict. Instead, the game treats it as if that whole incident never happened. Nice.

The Indoctrination Theory is the only reasonable explanation for the plotholes. Bullshit. After all the horrible crap he/she goes through, I have no problem believing that Shepard may have had hallucinations. But when people take this "it was all a dream" theory as the best possible explanation for everything that happened in the ending, this spells laziness. I would rather take the contrived, forced writing behind the Catalyst's epic logic fail than to say, "The Reapers were screwing with you in this messed up dream!"

Before I get a ton of hate messages, I'll stop. As for the Refusal... you were given the chance to beat the Reapers and you blew it. Enough said.

On the bright side though, the Extended Cut brings the emotional closure that many fans have been crying over the most. I installed it right before I started playing Mass Effect 3 and I am a happy camper. Despite the endings being confusing and frustrating if you think too much, I can happily say this did not desecrate my overall love of this series. Maybe it's because I already knew how the endings went so  the punch to the gut was nowhere as intense as I originally feared.

Extras

Critical research fail.

I have been reading Revelation, Ascension, and Retribution. Since the author was one of the major writers for the first two games, I figured I would enjoy the supplementary material. And I am very muchly. So much so that I shall avoid Deception because that new author fails at RESEARCH.

Comics are not really my cup of tea, so I have not checked out the other spin-off stuff.

I look forward to the Paragon Lost anime coming out later this year. As for the live-action film that's in the early stages... this better not suck. The fanbase is pretty rabid, and video game adaptations tend to be badly received. This better not be a disaster or else the Mass Effect fans will be no better than the Silent Hill fans in my eyes. There are enough nitpicky purists out there. 

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It will be a long time until I review any of these. Who knows? Maybe Mass Effect will be a flash-in-the-pan obsession of mine and I won't give a crap in three months.

At the very least I'll say one last thing. Mass Effect 2 is better than 3 in terms of story, and 3 is better than 2 in terms of gameplay.

....

Oh... and FemShep for the win. ^_^

What's Been Down

Even when I don't add much, my blog still gets views. That's interesting... but enough of that.

First off, I am currently in the process of completing four more exams for the first semester of my last year of high school. I'm mad at the study load, but I love the fact that I'll be done with the Catholic institution for good very soon. Ranting and getting mad over it is repetitive and unhealthy! Not much has come up for me to really go on and on about though. I need inspiration...

Second, my college quest is going on much longer than I wished. Although I was accepted in my school of choice, they gave me a disappointingly low amount of financial aid. My parents can only afford sending me one year before hitting a nasty and high pile of debt. The worst part was that everyone told me to reach for the stars, find the best school and everything will work out fine. No one told me to worry about money UNTIL the cost appeared in bold in my acceptance letter. Thankfully my mom is so practical that she recommended to quit before things got further south.

So after crying for a few days that I had so say goodbye to my anticipated school, we applied to some cheaper one in my state. Oh well. I can still go for the dream to get my Masters. Let's hope the Mayans were wrong about 2012...

In the meantime I'm playing around with the Nintendo 3DS my dad got me for Christmas. It's been a while since I had a system recent enough for me to buy the newest games. The last time I tried, I ended up selling the Wii to my cousin. The games at the time were multiplayer or $60.00 (which to me is way too much.) At the time I got good cash for it, but now that Skyward Sword came out last year... I'm pretty pissed.

Yeah, not my best picture. Whatev.

I obviously refrained from showing off what I got for Christmas since it's what EVERYONE did. But the 3DS is one thing I'm happy to have received.

Things have ironed out a bit, and blogging will return like "usual." Whatever that means. ;)

My Halloween Christmas Gift

I've been pretty bad with adding pictures of my tiny planet. Gomenasai. But here it finally is!

It's about time I remembered to post up my "Halloween" outfit. I figured it was going to be cold, so I added the poncho. Even when trick-or-treating was cancelled for me and my buds, I still wore it.

This is the corset my mom bought for me at the Renaissance Fair, and I love it so much. With it being hand-made and in good quality, I try not to wear it often. But it helped me realize how much I abuse my own back. @_@

(It laces up in the front and back.)

As a bonus, I finished this picture for art class a while back. It was a pain in the arse and took many hours to complete.

Starting Off with a *BANG!* (kind of...)

Nearly everyone by now has returned to school with some spirit - positive or negative - and has begun to adapt to the busy hell all over again. I am the exception.

To keep it short, my teachers started a strike against our archdiocese over - what appears to be - job positions in the instance their schools close. In these lovely days of an unending limbo of economic stress, Catholic schools are suffering quite a good bit. So thanks to a long battle with no official end in sight, I have no idea when my school year will permanently begin. I had a half day yesterday, which was nothing more than administrators lecturing us for two hours and not providing us bus rides home. Nice community service, you good ol' Catholics.

On one hand this is nothing more than an annoyance. This is my final year of high school and I anxiously want all the crap done and over with. One more year of religion being shoved down my throat; one more year of classmates that I've known for far too long; and one more year of being trapped in suburban Pennsylvania. How I wish to spend time in the city... I need a serious change in environment. Still, being trapped in my house with no way of transportation gets incredibly old. Been there once and I don't want to experience it again. *shudders*

Well, I joked about this year going out with a *BANG!* As Bill Cosby once said, "God has a sense of humor." Funny indeed.

At least to pass the time I still have some things to keep me busy. I can finish my summer reading (and rant about it later), watch anime (currently crawling through Death Note), and start a few crafts. Speaking of which...

... I made this lanyard the other day. It's rather simple (having leather, metallic chains, and beads) but my keychains and dog tags aren't too heavy. So far so good.

As a bonus mood booster, Ben-chan's TRANS//LATION 2 arrived in my mail last week not long after Irene poked us. The only problem is where to put the picture. I don't want to damage it by hanging it on my wall, yet I can't let it sit and collect dust... Maybe I should make a scrapbook...

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BONUS!

Music Mood

"What's up, People?"- Maximum the Hormone