'Detroit: Become Human', Part 1

Japan, why do you always get the superior game covers?

A full month has passed, and the fever of this infection has lessened somewhat. I have a terrible habit of not writing down or documenting knowledge in my head, which has probably made life difficult for the coworkers I left behind after I walked out of a promise/job/contract for the first time in my life. Once I get the motivation to do something about it, oftentimes it's too late (see my STILL incomplete Mass Effect 3 review). I plan to avoid that outcome this time by writing down everything I can about my experience with Detroit: Become Human.

Although I don't want a certain active actor from the project to drop enough trivia and fun facts that may warp my impressions to the point I forget to be as impartial as possible. I do recommend watching Bryan's streams though. He's a cool guy. Until fandom bullshit corrupts him. Pls don't ruin his and his wife's lives, internet and fangirls/fanboys, I implore you.

Spoilers inbound!

A Few Thoughts on ‘Detroit: Become Human’

Even though E3 is this week, I'm not really interested in what's coming out in the next one to five years for three reasons.

Number one, the Playstation 4's library has expanded enough that I can sort through what's already out and be content for the next two years, and by then some well-liked games from E3 2018 have come out, allowing me to avoid the pain of impatience.

Number two, it seems this generation has utterly failed to prove that gaming has innovated beyond hyper-realistic, high-quality graphics that PCs $200 cheaper with five times the library size have accomplished five years ago. Even if it's an exaggeration, I'm concerned that the [Western] gaming industry still correlates pretty graphics and orchestral flair to high quality art and advanced technical achievement.

And number three, Detroit: Become Human.

Fuck this game.

‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’

I’ve had it. I'm done. I am so done.

This is the last straw. I’m at my limit. I can't take this anymore.

Fuck Disney.

Fuck Hollywood.

Fuck the trendy franchise addition.

Fuck the obsession with cinematic universes.

Fuck the corporate capitalist cult that strangles creativity in the name of profit.

Fuck Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

And fuck me for feeding money to this detestable beast.

... Feel free to keep count of how many times I curse in this post. It's one of those, people, so strap in tight. This rant-review hybrid is not for the faint of heart.

Spoilers, because I have succumbed to the power of the Dark Side, consequences be damned.

'No.6'

I hate stories that both succeed and fail. Or maybe this does neither. I honestly have no clue anymore.

The premise touches upon a theme that you usually like, and you assume it'd be an easy ride. Then you realize ten minutes in that it focuses on another theme that sets off every alarm bell in your mind. Despite your discomfort, you press on because the cast endears you enough to give them and their story a chance. Then about halfway through the journey as you make friends with the passengers, the main plot train breaks are busted. The narrative steamrolls towards a huge crash after it climbs a steep hill. Impact is immanent, but you hang on anyway because, as your life flashes before your eyes, you realize the main characters and the secondary theme that initially terrified you are the only reasons you're still on the damn ride in the first place. Finally, the train derails. But by some divine miracle the passengers you grew to love are safe and unharmed. You share tearful farewells as everyone is taken to the hospital. And as you look back at the burning remains of the plot, you wonder if the memory of this strange, avoidable catastrophe is even worth remembering.

That was my time with the anime and manga adaptations, as well as the original light novels, of No.6.

Spoilers, cursing, rage, and feels aplenty.

'Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner, Vol 2'

Three years. I've been biting my nails in anticipation for this book for three bloody years.

And now I have to wait for the translation of volume three. And this book ends on an even more nerve-wrecking note than volume one. I love this book so much that my anxiety for volume three's translation and publication might kill me.

While it has been a long time since I last thought of the five-volumed Quantum Devil Saga and its spiritual older brother the Digital Devil Saga duology, I easily jumped back into the narrative and world without feeling like a day passed since I last read about Serph, the Embryon, and the denizens of the mysterious Junkyard. I rarely felt that connected to a story's world, and I cannot praise everyone involved in the games and this book series enough.

Before reading further, I suggest checking out my thoughts on Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner, Vol 1 from 2014. Also, as I went down memory lane to prepare for this post, I remembered Kevin Frane informing me that the guys at Bento Books read my review of volume one and liked it. Supposedly. I-I'm still kinda in denial about it. *fans self to prevent fainting*

Anywho, enough about silly me. SPOILERS AHOY!

'Mass Effect 3': Part I

Time to finally wrap up the Mass Effect trilogy before Mass Effect 4 comes out ten years from now!

Joking aside, if you gathered from my final verdicts of ME1 and ME2, this is my favorite game in the trilogy. Mass Effect 3 has most of the features I liked about the previous titles and improved on them. The story is an intense roller coaster ride after the forty to fifty hours I poured into the first two games. Heck, even the overall difficulty was amped up a bit to keep me on edge. Not many sequels I've played tend to like to do that.

YES, I'm looking at you, that one game I kept bashing for over a year.

Anywho, back to Mass Effect 3, my favorite game in the trilogy. And the review begins -

Hold your horses, people. I ain't going there yet. Let me say what I like LONG before touching that can of worms.

Possible spoilers ahoy.

'Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner, Vol. 1'

There have been numerous reasons my blog hasn't been updated lately, and this is one of them. For the past several months, I have been really, really excited for this book. I sat on pins and needles, watched a few interviews with the translator Kevin Frane, helped hold a small contest to promote the book, and pre-ordered this as soon as I could. Now that I finished it in just a day a week ago, I have no regrets.

Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner is a five-volume novelization of a story Yu Godai created when approached to create a scenario for Digital Devil Saga. Though she didn't work with Atlus long enough to finish her work for the RPG (although she is still credited), she planned to write her own version of the story, as it was her original idea. The fact Quantum exists has fans of the Megami Tensei franchise who adored Digital Devil Saga squeezing with delight.

And it's translated into English. Well, volume one at least, thanks to translator Kevin Frane and Bento Books. Since I want the other four volumes released outside of Japan as soon as possible, I owe it to myself to stand on my podium and rant away on this tiny little blog.

Spoiler: I really, really, REALLY love this book. And some spoilers are here, sort of.

November 2013 Update

Halloween's always been an uneventful holiday. I don't do much. I love candy and [dark] chocolate, sure, but trick-or-treating wore off me pretty quickly. It happens when you don't live in one place your whole life. Oh well, I had enough spirit to dress up a bit. Nope, no pictures. No party, no nothing. I just got up, put on a skirt, corset, and combat boots and went to my classes feeling pretty good. Presentable and tasteful. How boring can that get?

To improve the mood, enjoy some purple bunnies.

Otherwise, I watched two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just to overcome my massive disappointment in the anime I put myself through. No music purchases lately, though I've been listening to Persona 4's soundtrack to get in the mood for the upcoming multi-part review. That can go underway now that Mass Effect 2 FINALLY ended. I apologize for the really, really long waits for the parts.

Also I just saw Ender's Game a few hours ago.

More like Ender's symphony.

I never read the book, so I doubt whatever I say will hold much water. So to simplify my opinion, I really liked it. Maybe the movie selection this year was so horrid that NOW we get a barrage of interesting or promising flicks at the last minute. Whatever it is, I enjoyed it.

This is why young Fangirl gave up her dream of
being an astronaut.

Gravity was good too. It was wonderful to see two new, well-crafted sci-fi flicks within one year. Or to be even more petty, it's great to see movies that had nothing to do with Ridley Scott and his Alien franchise or Tom Cruise trying to play a simultaneously interesting and badass character. Instead we got George Clooney being an extremely jarring male equivalent of a pollyanna and OMG, HARRISON FORD IS SEVENTY-ONE?!?! TT-TT

... *sniff* I'm sorry... This has been a nerve-wrecking year for me in my posts. I really have to chill.

Anywho.

I have a TON of work due this month, all of it includes typing. ... You see where this is going.

"PSAs from a Fangirl" and my "Music Mood" will be updated as usual, just to prove I'm still alive. Once I get over my workload hump, I'll get back into blog mode. Again, Persona 4 is coming up, along with whatever comes to mind in the next few weeks. Even I never know.

Meanwhile... counting down to hearing the badass baritone Benedict Cumberbleach voice Smaug in The Hobbit.

...

...

I meant "Cumberbatch"... Damn it. Stupid JeremyJahns and his stupid review... *mutter, mutter*

'Mass Effect 2' Part IV

Duh-na-na-na-na-na, Duh-na-na-na-na-na, Duh-na-na-duh-na-na-duh-na-na-duh-na-na-duh-na-na-duh-na-na-duh-na-na-na...

DUH-NA-NA-DUH!

You have obtained Part 4 of the Mass Effect 2 review! To read this post, click the "see more" link if viewing on the main page. Otherwise, scroll down. Remember to keep your eyes on the screen. But don't forget to take breaks, or else your eyes will melt and you will suffer killer headaches! - Love, Nintendo.

... wait.

In all seriousness I actually like doing these posts. I put so much time ranting about the characters here that I realized how much I retained from the superior being(s) know how many times I played this game. The Mass Effect Wiki is mainly a reference to make sure I don't miss a few details. And if I even so much as make a minuscule error, I might gain a Douchey McNitpick! ... I don't want that. At all. PLEASE.

Anywho.

I kissed the characters I love, hugged the misfits, sent Thane a lawsuit for being one of the worst fathers in video games, and mocked the mediocrity of Legion.

While I fight off the inevitable horde of angry fans worldwide, let's finish this!

'Mass Effect 2': Part III

Six down, six more to go. So many teammates. Not enough time. I do like these guys, but MAN! @_@

Okay, enough complaining. Let's get back on track and finish the characters you're stuck with. Miscellaneous guys will be mentioned briefly in part 4, when I finally end this review... I hope.

Because this was my first Mass Effect game and it's the one I've played the most, I can say quite a decent bit about it. But is it my favorite in the franchise?

... We'll see.

Once again, SPOILER warning.

'Mass Effect 2': Part II

This post is long... and way beyond overdue. Life and college tends to do that.

I apologize.

Anywho.

Taking some time away from these games to live my life and try new things, sometimes I get a fresh new view on Mass Effect. Although there is quite a good bit of the fiction I still really enjoy, there are others that have lost their luster.

Sometimes I go on and on about how lovable a cast can be, and it's only true to a certain extent. When it comes to stories in many mediums of fiction, I find myself truly caring about one in every four people. Most times it's because there's not enough time to develop and get to know these characters. Otherwise, another one in four is simply entertaining in the short term. The two quarters are either in the category of "Who gives a shit?" or "FALL IN A PIT AND DIE!"

Mass Effect has been pretty good in the sense that most characters fit in box two: short-lived, but fun. Some take up type three (forgettable) and almost no one is type four (except one person to be noted in the third game). Several people fit in box one... and it's thanks to this game.

Once again, and I am 100% serious: SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FREAKING FRANCHISE HERE.

If you don't want the plot ruined, PLEASE play the games. The Trilogy box set is about $35.00 for three games. $11.50 each: that's a deal. It's cheaper than buying ME1 on the Playstation Network.That is cheaper than Skyrim and all it's DLC. This is cheaper than Far Cry 3. And you get 90 hours of gameplay. What are you waiting for? BUY IT.

Or if you just like spoilers in general, keep on reading.

'Mass Effect 2': Part I

At last, a Mass Effect title I can bitch less about! ...Maybe.

There is far too much to say about the trilogy, hence my splitting the first game's review into three parts. If there were too many unnecessary details thrown, I apologize. (But I really had to get the inventory system disaster off my chest.)

This game will probably get as much attention, mainly because the team you assemble is much, much larger. I'll get to them when I can though. One step at a time.

Heh, even after I finish this, I know I will have skipped over a ton of material. I can never win.

Once again I'll warn everyone that there are SPOILERS.



And one of MANY stupid memes that I need to reference just to shut the fans up.

Everyone, cue the infamous one finger air quote:

Now... let's begin.

'Oblivion'

...

I... um...

...

This is a first.

SPOILERS.

'Mass Effect 1', Part III

This long-winded review/rant just keeps on going and going. And I still have two games to go! Not only that, but due to its controversial nature, the end of the trilogy might come right after. Too much information, so little time, and not enough Asprin for the headache.

...

That's it. By this point, these introductions are just padding. Let's just put this review down and move on as soon as possible. You, fellow readers, have better things to do.

I need to focus on other content to get the blog back up and running again. *sigh* Why did my consoles and I depart for a few weeks?

'Mass Effect 1", Part II

So... Mass Effect. Looks like we didn't start off too good, did we?

The first game has the most infuriating gameplay I have experienced in this trilogy. Many other fans who had access to this years before me would strongly disagree. They cherish the five-year-old game like a Pokemon fan reminiscing on Blue or Red for the Gameboy Color. Part of me really wishes I could think of it as fondly, but my perspective and experience are too different from those Xbox 360 and PC players.

On the bright side, I do appreciate and understand the undying love. I've played these games to death. When I sit in class as my professor presents a series of notes that my life depends upon to uphold my grades and keep my scholarships, I daydream about being lost in the fiction for hours. I give evil glares of hatred to all the guys who sit on their asses playing video games all day as I study. My PS3 sits at home and waits for me to return once every six weeks. Once I'm home and ready to relax, any one of the Mass Effect discs begs me to pay attention to it... Like a druggie failing rehab, I give in every time. Of course I love this series. Why else have I rambled about this franchise aimlessly to my friends and on my blog since last summer?

Still, as an amateur, nitpicky reviewer I have to attempt to be somewhat objective. Being a contrarian is not my intention at all. I sure am opinionated, but pissing people off over statements I make is not something I strive for when I wake up every morning.

If you have not read Part I... go back three spaces and come back when you did your homework. Now I will dive into characters and plot.

As common sense will tell you, there will be SPOILERS.

'Mass Effect 1', Part I

The first game is finally on the Playstation 3! Thank the superior being(s). Now I can whine about it. And lose most of my viewers...

No, seriously, I'm happy that I finally have the chance to play the entire Mass Effect trilogy instead of 66% of it. Relying on idiots on Youtube who don't understand how to edit out blunders was getting really old. Now I can finally play with the gameplay mechanics however I want without the rest of the world seeing how badly I play video games. (Sticking to the writing medium is more of my cup of tea anyway. I'm not tech-savvy enough for video.)

So now, on with the longest series of reviews ever! Starting with the first, the original Mass Effect.

This will be a long, whiny, nitpick ride... you sure you want to go on reading this?

Happy 2013!!: An Update

Lo and behold, everyone was wrong about December 21, 2012. Not only was 2012 one of the stupidest movies ever made, but the Mayan calendar technically sees the day as the end of a time period and the beginning of a new one. Kind of like a "new "year", I guess. Nothing happened. I bet at 16:00 Eastern Time, the Japanese were either asleep or laughing at our ludicrous claims of "ZOMFG, doomsday!!!!!!"

And I lived to see me birthday. And laughed. Very loudly.

I was busy plowing through repetitive missions
with the Mako while y'all caused a ruckus at 12 am.

Anywho, Happy New Year to the few individuals who read my blog!

2012 was a pain in the neck. I would get caught up in college life, video games, music, etc. and forget to update. This may be because I don't like treating this as a "here's what I'm doing today" sort of blog. I've had diaries in the past, but I'd barely use up ten pages. Writing down every single mundane thing I do or think about never had much appeal to me. Sure, there has been a few posts when I would briefly talk about what I've been up to, but I only want to write posts when I feel like it. As a result, I have gone on for weeks without any content.

We'll see how 2013 goes. I make resolutions and act when I need to, not when people cheer because the clock struck 0:00 on the first day of 2013. Ah, cynicism! ^_^

Before I disappear again, let me say a few more things.

Thanks for the those who voted in my small poll. I wanted to get a sense on how to even talk about Mass Effect. Since I quickly became a fervent fan over the summer [and came up frequently in my posts] it seemed inevitable that I would have a desire to ramble on talk about it. Because so much could be said, I wanted an idea on how willing some of you would be when you read the posts. Currently three drafts have been composed over the past few months: two of which still need extensive editing before being ready to be put out.

My dad gave me Mass Effect Trilogy for Christmas, so now I have extra copies of 2 and 3 as well as a physical copy of the first game. Until I played through it a few times, it will be the first post on the series as a whole. In other words, this whole thing might take a really long time. Once Spring semester starts, I will not have access to my PS3 and the game will be put on hold. For now, I'm trying to play it as much as possible to get a feel for it. Plus I have heard about how frustrating the glitches can be. The PS3 version of Mass Effect seems to have all new problems that have ruined the experience (i.e. game files not being transferable to Mass Effect 2, audio issues, mini game issues, etc.)

First impressions?

After spending about 40 hours on the game and completing one of my two save files... It's a whole different kind of difficult. Frustrating at times, but it was definitely worth it. Thankfully my experience was only ruined by problems that most likely existed with the original XBox 360 version. No game-breaking crashes, no mini-game problems. Heck, I'm only happy I could transfer my file into Mass Effect 2 without any penalty. Now I can experience everything from start to finish, the right way.

Enough about video games though.

The other week I had the chance to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in 3D. Hearing mostly negative things about it from critics - hmph... figures - I got a bit worried. Diehard Tolkien fans, however, seemed a bit less angry about the film. (Can't say about the 3D gimmick though...) As much as I loved film versions of The Lord of the Rings, I'm far from being a Tolkien fan. He put so much content and love in Middle Earth that I'd have to dedicate my whole life to his fiction. I'd be open-minded about the lore, but it's too overwhelming to dive into. At least what little I have seen (and read) the material is not too hard to swallow.

Anywho.

The Hobbit was probably one of the only books I ever enjoyed reading for school. Even then, the extremely particular and detailed notes and tests we had to take nearly killed the experience. So I reread it in my free time once or twice. So, yeah, I was damn happy to see a film adaptation.

Looks like I'll have to review it sometime soon. I could easily rant on about it without trouble. I still have ideas, people, I just need the motivation to write sometimes.

Well, Happy New Year everyone!

Mini Shots: 'Mass Effect'

After spending all of July glued to the coach and oblivious to my blog's existence, I have returned and am as (in)sane as usual. By now I think I have nearly maxed out my fun with my presents so I can move on to college life and not cry myself to sleep. I simply enjoyed not having a life while it lasted.

But now I present some kind of material for the first time in a billion years!

It seems like it was only yesterday when gamers went insane for Mass Effect 3, only for all hopes and dreams to be crushed by the almighty power of EA. How could I have avoided any comments about this series? March was swamped by the fury of raging, homicidal fans crying "BETRAYAL!!!" This circus was too entertaining to avoid!


Alas, I'm a suicidal masochist.

After so many warnings, clearly I am an idiot.

*sigh* Here I am starting yet another collection of pointless merchandise for the sake of indulging my selfish desires. All I'm missing are T-shirts with quotes or running gags. The world warned me that I was putting myself in the same position as every other fan who got punk'd. Suddenly, money vanished from my pockets and all this crap landed on my doorstep.

All joking aside, there are a few things I want to address since anyone who sees the words "mass effect" will probe me with the same old questions. There is a crapload of stuff I could say about the franchise, so I have to severely restrict myself. This is NOT a review; that may not happen until everything sinks in for several months.

Mass Effect 1

This? A space opera? I have dismissed that claim!

Because Microsoft has always made devices that want to plant seeds of hatred in my disposition, I have never played the first game. However, I have been planning to set up my laptop so it can run like a PC so I might have a chance of playing it. It will take a while for me to get this set up, but I do plan to play it somewhere down the line.

Long before I bought ME2, I watched various people play this so I can better understand the plot, characters, politics, terminology, and all that other detailed stuff. Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that most Youtubers who uploaded their sessions have no damn clue how to edit out the dumbest mistakes they make. All these awkward let's plays and walkthroughs were long and torturous. Somehow I made it through... and vowed that I will play it so only I can see my first-time-player stupidity.

Obviously, I enjoyed it enough that I made it to this point, so the pain was worth it. It's only a shame the sequels released on the PS3 force me to miss out on some of the overly-long gags from the first game's side missions.

Mass Effect 2

I love these misfits... well, all but three.

The game that picked up so many perfect scores that Fangirl should be furious at such insanity! Well, yes, it is outrageous that Mass Effect 2 received as much ass-kissing as it got. To be honest, it has some technical issues that rub me the wrong way. (i.e. Sonic 06 has shorter and far less annoying loading times. Let that sink in for a moment.) It didn't change the fact that the game is ridiculously fun. It may be like a "filler episode", but I came to like nearly all of the 12 squadmates I recruited. Since this game gave me the time to get to really know the characters, this narrative was extremely satisfying in the long term.

Getting used to the controls, however, was not fun. Fangirl has now caught up with the times and has learned how to play a shooter. Yay. =_=

Mass Effect 3

The giant space cthulhus have arrived!!

Better controls, better conversations, better graphics, better load times, and a great experience... until the last twenty minutes of the game.

This is far more polished than its brother, while getting back on the same track in terms of tone and narrative as the first game. Everything was so well done that I cried just as hard as when I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I was a sobbing baby for 34 hours and I regret none of it. After all of this, I can happily say that the Mass Effect trilogy finally got me to appreciate role-playing games. The only problem is to find another RPG to care about... with an ending that doesn't cause an internet wildfire.

The Ending(s) [or lack thereof... kind of]

No, you little punk. It was your fault Marauder Shields died!

This may get complicated....
**Spoiler Warning**

Heads up, everyone. Everything about the endings has some trace of BULLSHIT in it.

That one Destroy ending in which Commander Shepard takes half a breath before the screen turns black? Bullshit. Either commit to the character being dead or returning to the Normandy and high-fiving every one of those loyal misfits who stood by Shepard through hell and back. And just because it's the one ending where Shepard lives, that does not automatically mean it's the best ending.

None of the endings reflect upon the ideas discussed throughout the course of the trilogy? Bullshit. Destroy the Reapers? That was the reason why Shepard had to unite the galaxy. Control the Reapers? Cerberus and the Illusive Man obsessed about it. Synthesis of organic and synthetic life? Didn't Saren mention something about that in the first game? I would not argue that the ideas are ass pulls, but that the writing team poorly explained these ideas to create a cohesive and acceptable conclusion. (i.e. What is this "new genetic makeup" of all life in the Synthesis ending? Why do all artificial and virtual intelligences die with the Reapers in Destroy?)

Forcing a condition on someone against his or her will is what makes Synthesis and Control the worst choices. Uh, what? No matter which option you pick you either A) exterminate an entire race of beings, regardless of their morality, and/or B) force an entire new way of life on the galaxy. No matter the option, you are playing god, forcing your will upon every living thing in the galaxy. Free will is completely ignored. This argument is absurd.

The creators cannot coexist peacefully with the created? Well, if you, like some players, busted your butt to end the quarian-geth subplot without one group or the other facing extinction head-first... uh, bullshit. Even with the Extended Cut, it would have been so nice if Shepard would point out that he/she did manage to resolve that conflict. Instead, the game treats it as if that whole incident never happened. Nice.

The Indoctrination Theory is the only reasonable explanation for the plotholes. Bullshit. After all the horrible crap he/she goes through, I have no problem believing that Shepard may have had hallucinations. But when people take this "it was all a dream" theory as the best possible explanation for everything that happened in the ending, this spells laziness. I would rather take the contrived, forced writing behind the Catalyst's epic logic fail than to say, "The Reapers were screwing with you in this messed up dream!"

Before I get a ton of hate messages, I'll stop. As for the Refusal... you were given the chance to beat the Reapers and you blew it. Enough said.

On the bright side though, the Extended Cut brings the emotional closure that many fans have been crying over the most. I installed it right before I started playing Mass Effect 3 and I am a happy camper. Despite the endings being confusing and frustrating if you think too much, I can happily say this did not desecrate my overall love of this series. Maybe it's because I already knew how the endings went so  the punch to the gut was nowhere as intense as I originally feared.

Extras

Critical research fail.

I have been reading Revelation, Ascension, and Retribution. Since the author was one of the major writers for the first two games, I figured I would enjoy the supplementary material. And I am very muchly. So much so that I shall avoid Deception because that new author fails at RESEARCH.

Comics are not really my cup of tea, so I have not checked out the other spin-off stuff.

I look forward to the Paragon Lost anime coming out later this year. As for the live-action film that's in the early stages... this better not suck. The fanbase is pretty rabid, and video game adaptations tend to be badly received. This better not be a disaster or else the Mass Effect fans will be no better than the Silent Hill fans in my eyes. There are enough nitpicky purists out there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It will be a long time until I review any of these. Who knows? Maybe Mass Effect will be a flash-in-the-pan obsession of mine and I won't give a crap in three months.

At the very least I'll say one last thing. Mass Effect 2 is better than 3 in terms of story, and 3 is better than 2 in terms of gameplay.

....

Oh... and FemShep for the win. ^_^

'Prometheus'

First impression: looks like the live-action cousin of Ergo Proxy.
After seeing the film, my reaction has only confirmed my guess.

Here it is. The supposed "prequel" to the series that traumatized me for years. Thanks to the Alien movies, I never liked the sight or thought of something foreign within one's abdomen. Of course, my dad, being more intelligent than Stephen Hawking, showed me the films when I was SIX, so it's not much of a surprise.

Even way before the film was announced, I had no desire to see this film. Not because of my mental scars, but because everyone hyped the crap out of it. As a result of squealing like children on Christmas Eve, everyone has their underwear tied into knots over how good or bad the film is. The reviews, ranging from "OMFG, it's glorious!" to "WTFH is this pile?", provided endless entertainment from me. After I read the whole plot summary, it got to the point that I already had an opinion of the film without watching it. Yet my dear old man took me to see it so I had a frame of reference when I rant about my opinion here. It's long overdue anyway.

So what did I think?

Objectively, it's not the worst of the year; the film is a visual feast to behold. But there are plenty of places where the film trips over its feet or stumbles down the stairs. Overall, if you take all the good and the horrible, it adds up to be... a bit below average. Subjectively, this movie annoys me more than the target of one of my last reviews. This film... and some of the people who defend it... piss me off to no end. This film drops so much bait for the pseudo-philosophers to binge on and claim the film makes so many deep references to Jesus Christ and Christianity. Believe me, some have written essays on what this film is about.

What is the ship called? Prometheus. What day do the crew members wake up from suspended animation? Christmas Day. When did the Engineers die on their ship? Two thousand years ago.What is the name of the sterile woman who just so happens to become pregnant? Elizabeth. What is that around her neck? A cross. What is her reason to claim that the Engineers created us? "Because that's what I choose to believe." What is that? Faith, which is simply belief without proof. What day is it when the film ends? January 1, in "the year of Our Lord" 2094.

Is this the only point to the film? Does this film have to jam the idea down our throats that this is something we must think about? Must we accept that a scientist with a strong faith in her Lord and Savior is someone we can stand behind as a protagonist? Must we accept that this film refuses to have their scientists - except the geologist - question the legitimacy of a "belief" held by said religious woman, supported by her jerk-ass boyfriend scientist? Should we take this seriously as a film that makes you think of mythological gods that killed themselves - I meant, "sacrificed themselves" - for the sake of the human race to have life?

Hell no.

I expected this film to tell a story, not a lecture. I expected a decent premise, plot progression, character development, and a resolution. The only thing this movie got right was the characterization of David, the android. HE had a legitimate internal conflict and throughout the course of the story he asked questions, interacted with the cast, and served a valuable purpose on the trip, while learning more about life. He was very aware that he was a created intelligence, had great dialogue with Dr. Shaw, and was the most active character in discovering the Engineers. It's interesting that the one created by humans is the one who did his creators' homework in finding their creator.

Oh yes, all the humans - ALL of them - were horrifically stupid. Even if the pretentious themes and intents behind the film were appropriate and well done, the characters were absolutely insulting. They were the black permanent marker stains on an elegant, finely detailed French dress. No one was likable. Everyone fit their generic roles in a horror flick. Dr. Holloway and the captain were the jackasses. The biologist was the blond, being the first to die in the stupidest way possible. Weyland was the selfish old guy. Dr. Shaw was the idiot. Everyone else had no name and was forgettable.

As for the plot... it's generic and bland. Weak premise for a sci-fi film supported by little and poor reasoning. Seriously, how could you conclude that a bunch of aliens are saying "Come to our world, kids! We have candy!" from murals around the world with a set of five dots in a pattern? Which of those five "dots" did they go to and how did they know?

Nitpicking aside, the plot was written very awkwardly. The dialogue wasn't bad, but there were many instances were I wondered if plot details ware missing or if whole scenes had to be rewritten. I'm not the greatest writer on the planet, look at my posts here and point out all the grammatical and structural errors, but I asked myself many times if I would edit the writers' notes to death? This movie feels like there are several minor scenes cut out just so it could be a reasonable two hour presentation.

Wait... do you know what this whole thing is? FAN SERVICE. Not the kind with half-naked women posing around or excessive blood and gore to get the hormones raging. This is fan service to the Alien fans by saying, "Hey! This is how the xenomorphs came to be! Ain't that cool?" This is a film with nothing but two hours of half-assed, horror-movie padding and unexplored controversial debates that have never been resolved ever since logic and faith clashed. All of this happens, and in the end they only show us a minute and a half of a xenomorph popping out of the abdomen of an albino Kratos from God of War. Then the writers have the balls to leave the initial questions in the premise UNANSWERED and drops a few bread crumbs to a potential sequel.

Oh, I forgot about the monsters and the horror aspect of the movie. It did fine. No complaints. I'm jaded by scary films by this point, and Prometheus was nothing special but not bad in that regard. No, the ending did not disgust me.

At the end of the day, it's nice that people can think deeply about this, but that does not make this film excellent. All the pretty visuals and the convoluted explanations cannot undo a film that fails to live up to the standards of basic storytelling. Ridley Scott and his crew worked their asses off to make as many allusions as possible that they forgot that this is a science fiction film with SCIENTISTS who cannot do their jobs even if their lives depended on it. These guys are supposed to be telling a story, not showing off your intelligence. It may say a lot to some when I say that Damon Lindelof was one of the guys behind the TV show Lost, but a sloppy story ending with sequel bait is inexcusable.

The last words in the film speak for themselves. The surviving members of the plot go off to find the Engineers and demand to know why humanity was created. Wasn't this question posed at the beginning of the film? If so, then that means that we have an UNANSWERED QUESTION. To everyone who said that this film has all mysteries resolved or is open-ended and up for interpretation... BULLSHIT. This is a research paper turned in on its due date with no concluding paragraphs. Your teacher/professor would slap you if you demanded that your work deserves an A because it's so many pages long or you tackled a hard topic. Your professor is not going to guess what your conclusion is. Your work is incomplete. You FAILED.

And it's comments like these that annoy me the most.

Person A: "Kind of wondering if [the Amazing Atheist's] entire review is a joke. Distracting us with a bunch of interesting subjects in depth, but ignoring the basics of the movie. Which is essentially what the film was: a lot of potential for depth and powerful themes, but it just amounted to a lukewarm film."

Person B: "No, they just saw it for what it was meant to be, unlike you."

"...many of you criticize the so called plot-holes and "unanswered questions". What baffles me is that no one and I mean no one here wants to think. Don't understand what I mean, do you? Take for example the Force from Star Wars. Why is it so awesome? Because we hardly know anything about it. Where did it come from? How did we find it? How exactly does it work? [...] These are all "unanswered questions" and they make you think and imagine, speculate and investigate. These kind of questions make the movie interesting and intriguing. The same is easily applied to Prometheus, - it gives us a fair amount of answers and clues and keeps us speculating at the same time. And for me - this the real magic of cinema. Prometheus is a solid and thought provoking movie and in general just a wondrous experience. I guess people nowadays are used to the facts that movies just give away all the answers and plot elements on a silver platter (take Avatar for example, - the moral is there but it's so straight and obsessive that it leaves no room for real thought. Awful movie by the way) and that's a real shame. As for my advice go and watch Prometheus with an open mind and be ready to think."

"I feel like I watched an entirely different movie from what you just described. Most of the things you say were holes or issues are clearly explained by the movie if you pay attention or simply put two and two together.  I enjoyed this movie for its meticulous sense of details, how some things don't click in your mind until after seeing it.  I honestly don't understand half your complaints because lots of them seem like you could have only come to that conclusion if you were either really tired or simply not paying attention to some things which either were explained by dialogue or obvious. (and yes somethings straight up aren't explained- Scott did say this was going to be a trilogy)."

"It's an excellent film as long as you do not expect it to a) be science fiction or b) make any sense on the surface level, rather than the symbolic level..."


It's good as long as you pretend it's not a science fiction film?! Don't deny what this film is supposed to be!

Gag me with a spork. I may have been closed-minded about this film, but I sure as hell used my damn brain to nitpick every inch of this pretentiously-wrapped and superficial film. You can accuse me of overheating my brain, but not for one moment did I stop thinking about this colossal disappointment.

1 out of 5

Watch it if you will, but I cannot give this a thumbs up. Do not trust your beloved reviewers because this film is too polarizing. Even Doug, Linkara, Film Brain, Spoony, and Brad Jones from That Guy With the Glasses, a site with some very similar-minded people, had their own separate opinions on it all across the spectrum.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Mass Effect 2 to play on my new PS3...