'Puella Magi Madoka Magica'

...

This is one of the worst anime I have ever seen.

SPOILERS.

RE: Fangirl's 'Persona 4' Review

They're making a Persona 4 Golden anime adaptation.

…

…

'Devil Survivor 2: The Animation'

I like anime. I really do. Some of the conventions and cliches are fun, hilarious, and enjoyable. Some characters fit the same mold constantly, but others break down boundaries and create a new spin on tropes of characterization.

Some shows are classics. Some are memorable and provide a lot of commentary. Some are forgettable, but still watchable. Others are just simply bad. Even fewer reach legendary levels of awful. Basically, anime is like everything else: movies, music, shows, books, and various other mediums of entertainment.

Maybe I've been on TV Tropes for far too long and I'm even more jaded than ever since I became a realistic pessimist. Maybe I'm just naturally finding faults in everything. Maybe I do too much simple research on suits, temperature, and health concerns before I dive into a public pool. Regardless of the reason, I came to the conclusion that Devil Survivor 2 The Animation is a sterile anime.

How it fairs as an adaptation will not be a strong factor as I have not played the game. However, I will stress a few things that rubbed the wrong way with me, still relatively new to the Shin Megami Tensei franchise.

To put it simply, this is Shiki meets Sonic Colors... with Altus and the SMT label slapped on for sales.

Great. Spoilers ahoy.

'Persona 3' Part V

*sips pomegranate tea*

... Note to self: never, ever, ever read Persona 3 fan fiction. Never again. Ever.

This has to be the worst game I have ever played. The story, the characters, the gameplay, the fans, the fanfiction, EVERYTHING related to this game deserves to be destroyed. If only there was an appropriate punishment worthy of this abomination of a game's existence! All thanks to Atlus, they owe me four trillion yen in tissues for P3P's New Game Plus ending alone! That's not even covering all the other non-Shinji relates moments in the game! Yukari's dad! Junpei and Chidori! Takeharu Kirijo! New Years Eve!

Why on earth did I play this game?! ...Oh, right, a bunch of other traumatized folks on the internet recommended it to me so I could join in the parade of misery. There... there are just no words...

That's it. I made it this far. There have been a few moments when I came very close to slicing my jugular open. Instead I threw a tantrum because I have self control! Today, I will end this review once and for all! I will not falter this time! Watch me!!

'Persona 3' Part IV

Grrrr...

Why this guy? Why now? Do I seriously have to pause the review for one stupid character?! He's barely in the game! There's no point in paying any attention to him!

...

*sighs*

...

Looks like I can't progress any further until I deal with this asshole first.

Damn it.

SPOILERS.

'Persona 3' Part III

Okay, me, those boxes are deliberate. Such lazy censorship was clearly done by an amateur. What the hell are you hiding?

*sees hand with Fanta bottle of sand*

Ha! You can't stop me! I came prepared!

*wrestles with arm and twists thumb, forcing bottle to fall*

*free hand picks up bottle and throws it out the window*

*wraps once-aggressive hand in a cast to prevent movement*

TAKE THAT, ME! =P


Anywho.

Yes, something has been bugging me all throughout this review. At some point I will have to confront my subconscious and demand it to spill it out. I really feel like I'm purposefully avoiding something, as I keep making awkward pauses to slap myself back into shape.

But I must stay on track. If I don't figure out what this missing thing is before my final verdict... No. That won't happen. I will finish the detailed review with that missing thing! I will succeed, even if it kills me! I will stay strong until the end!

Well, enough of the silly battle cry! Let's move on into the plot, where spoilers will be common!

CHARGE!!!!!

'Persona 3', Part II

Looking back, I think I went too fast with the gameplay section. If anyone read it and had no idea what the hell "Tartarus" or "the Dark Hour" is, I apologize. I will go in more detail once we get to plot, which is not until a good ways off at this rate, but let me simplify them here and now.

When you're not living a normal high school life, a mysterious "hidden" hour emerges at midnight, between one day and the next. That is the Dark Hour. Most people are unaware of this, as they are "asleep" in coffins that suddenly manifest. Only those with a Persona - or those with the potential to awaken one - can wander around freely.

Except there are Shadows everywhere and their behavior seems to be affected by the phases of the moon. Most, however, hang out in this massive tower located in the center of the town our heroes live in. It also just happens to be your high school during every other time but the Dark Hour. Of course, its up to you to investigate and figure out how both Tartarus and the Dark hour came to be.

And you can't do that without comrades.

There might be some spoilers.

'Persona 3' Part I

... okay.

It took me a long time to recover after my first impression post. Now that I underwent extreme psychotherapy and a lobotomy to erase that inexcusably f'ing awful event from my mind, I'm back to normal and ready to review.

Other than that one moment that I cannot remember details of, Persona 3 was a lot better than I originally expected. For once I found a JRPG that is interesting and its developers competent.

'Tis a shame that I have over 130 hours of two playthroughs to reflect and comment on. By this point, it seems that video game reviews will be a billion times longer than anything else I'll ever post. Looks like the Mass Effect trilogy won't be the only one getting this special treatment.

BEWARE! The Hate of Sonic 06's Soundtrack Is Over 9,000!!

Sonic 06, wake the **** up. You are NOT Final Fantasy.

Very well. I may not have played Sonic 06 since I currently don't own a XBox or a PS3, but I can still take this thing on. I watched at least four walkthroughs of this game and I listened to this soundtrack for months. I think I have enough room to toss my few cents into the opinion cup.

So here it goes.

This soundtrack is considered to be one of the best of this franchise.

... ... ... ... ...

BULLSHIT

Believe me, it gets much worse from here.

I apologize if any Sonic fan is reading this and loves this soundtrack. I am shooting bullets at this cocky piece of junk, not you. Please don't take this as a personal insult.

As for the rest of you... I'm sorry if my rage overwhelms anyone.

1:43 - What is THIS?! Is someone getting MARRIED?! *flashback to game*

OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TT-TT

I'm serious... what the fudge was Sonic Team AND Sega on in 2006?! Why did they release a half-assed game with sloppy gameplay, inconsistent graphics, and a generally insultingly overrated and unexciting soundtrack?! Most of all, why has no one apologized for this train wreck?!

*storms away from computer, sits on bed, and meditates for seven years*

Okay, I'm cool... ish.

Pointless 28 second song is pointless!

I know making claims of what defines a "Sonic soundtrack" is shallow and stupid, but hear me out. Music in pretty much every Sonic game released was energetic, upbeat, or catchy. Even in the SEGA Genesis days, restricted by electronic bleeps, the music was still memorable! So what happened here? Electronic and rock still exist, except watered-down and lifeless. Other than an orchestra, keyboards, the occasional guitar, and woodwinds, no other instrument exists. They replaced actual drums with machines repeating the same damn noise over and over again. This is not fun, musical perfection, this is repetitive laziness. "Wave Ocean" is the prime example of such sloth!

*sigh* This ain't the Gerudo desert of the Zelda series... wake me up when it...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This soundtrack is just as long as Shadow the Hedgehog's with over 90 songs, and YET Shadow's music was far more dynamic and energizing. Sure, not everyone can tolerate the sound that appeals more to rock and metal fans, but barely anything sounds exactly the same! Sonic 06, however, decides to have five songs sound 95% identical. This is mostly cutscene music too.

Yep an official Shadow recolor. Didn't see that one coming...

No seriously. That's the villain.

I kid you not, the tunes that play whenever Mephiles appears sound no different from each other, except that one during the cutscene with the pseudo-Jesus imagery. (That's a rage for another day...) There's "Resurrection of Mephiles", "The Black Shadow", "Mephiles' Whisper", "Mephiles' Temptation", and "Showdown with Mephiles". There was a cool theme that was duplicated and raped for no reason.

Silver, why did you debut in one of the worst games ever?!

WAAAAHHHH!!! 

And for character themes? "Dreams of an Absolution" - as I repeated for months - is the only track that deserves your serious attention. The in-game version of "His World" - not to be confused with the superior "Theme of Sonic the Hedgehog ~ E3 Version" - is hilariously awful. I'm sorry, Mr. Ali Tabatabaee, but in this song you are a lazy rapper. Just listen to the Crush 40 version, which the gods have blessed in their infinite wisdom... ...only to curse them. Crush 40's remake of "All Hail Shadow" is absolutely unnecessary. Magna-Fi made it glorious before, so why elongate and weaken what was concise and full of life?

Look, I have no issue with orchestral music. Symphonic metal is plagued with it. Nightwish dives head-first into the orchestration so much that it can be nauseating. But for them, it works because that was their style, their technique from day one. The fact that they continue it may prove that they are satisfied or that people want them to continue it until they die. Here, in a Sonic game it seems to work in small doses, otherwise it will look like everyone is trying too hard.

"The Past", "Chaos Control", "Revival", "Theme of Sonic Colors", "Theme of Sonic Unleashed", "To the World of the Memory", and "Metal Madness" are some examples of orchestration done well. They fit the tone and mood of the games they appear in while retaining a reasonable bit of memorability. Part of this is because we will hear these songs several times throughout the course of the game's story at the most appropriate moments. AND the games and their soundtracks don't drown themselves in such music.

Oh no! The tears that will release the Nine Tailed Fox from its' host!

It's the apocalypse! Cue the organ!

Yet Sonic 06 flips the bird at conservatively using what could be beautiful music and decides to fling new "impressive" and "elegant" crap at you to the point you forget what the fudge you're listening to! There are 48 event songs out of 94 tracks. 48 EVENT SONGS!!! That compares to 10 in Sonic Adventure 2, 17 in Sonic Colors, 10 in Sonic Generations, 11 in Sonic Heroes, and 6 in Sonic Adventure! 48 songs make up MORE THAN HALF OF THIS SOUNDTRACK! And most of the songs ARE REPEATS!!!!!

Fine, Shadow the Hedgehog has 49 event tracks. HOWEVER! Most of them STAND APART VERY CLEARLY!!! And many were re-used throughout the game WITHOUT DUPLICATE EDITS on the soundtrack! For crying out loud, Sonic Team!!!! Did you make Sonic 06 suck on purpose?! This is overkill!!!!

*walks away from computer and screams off the foulest curses ever conceived by mankind*

I have a headache. Seriously, I don't know if this or A Thousand Suns is the worst excuse of "great" albums I have ever heard. It's hard... man, is it hard... I could not finish listening to both in their entirety.

Yes, I gave up once we got to the Town Mission tunes. ...And I skipped the "Accordion Song". I wish that was a joke.

The only good action stage song that stuck the first time I listened.

Before I get a load of grief for my immaturity, I will admit that not every song was a colossal failure. Other than "Dreams of an Absolution", I found comfort in "Kingdom Valley", "Aquatic Base ~ Level 1", "Boss Fight Vs. Character", and "Theme of Dr. Eggman." These are five gems that I have found in a sea of oil and sludge.

And I refuse to comment in detail on "Sweet Dreams" and "My Destiny". They made me sick. Thankfully the developers didn't want me to puke excessively as the former never appeared on the soundtrack.

This could easily fit with the ARK stages in Shadow the Hedgehog...

Here's the greatest problem. Sonic 06 tried to impress everyone with its "realism" in graphics, story, and soundtrack. It's like Sonic would be deemed childish with the presence of epic, in-your-face music borrowing elements of rock, rap, jazz, techno, electronic, and orchestral. And what was released was a horrible disaster. They tried too damn hard and this ends up looking like a wanna-be Final Fantasy epic tale with snobbishly pretentious and "I'm superior to you all" music that should NEVER be in a Sonic game!

So what if I got into the games via the GameCube? I still have a tiny idea of what makes the blue blur awesome in the eyes of his fans. If you could stomach this more than me, fine. Enjoy it because I can't change your mind. But as you continue to praise it, I will continue to condemn it for failing to be the best damn thing it thinks it is.

Oh, Crush 40... we miss you dearly, even if you fumbled "All Hail Shadow"...

The good news about this? Sonic Team never attempted to overkill us with this pretentious, pseudo-elegent bullshit ever again! ... at least after Sonic Unleashed. *weeps*

0.5 out of 5

Because even this is the Mona Lisa next to the Twilight "saga".

I need to go brainwash myself with far better thoughts... A part of me has died...

'Elfen Lied'

And no. It is pronounced "lēd" or "lead" in leader, not "lied" as in a lie. >.<

(CREDIT: to the mangaka and the poet who wrote "Elfenlied")

RANK: 1.9 out of 5 <-- frustrating="">

"Don't judge a book by its cover." Damn, that phrase irks me every time someone says it. It's thrown around so loosely to the point that you just judge for the sake of forming an opinion. This time, however, that phrase is the best way to describe Elfen Lied.

This series is a literal disaster zone. Buckets of blood and violence with cute little moe-styled characters having their heads and limbs fly everywhere. Tons of fanservice and nudity more disturbing than those in shows like Ikki Tousen or Master of Martial Hearts. Excessive exposition, unanswered questions, sloppy writing, etc. etc. ALL of these things plague and stain the reputation of this series.

So why did I put myself through hell to read the manga? The anime was made before the manga finished; thus, to experience the "true" story with the "true" ending, I read all 108 chapters online.

On one hand, Elfen Lied, despite the annoying writing style, has a decently endearing charm to it that can be liked or hated. Like an amateur "theater group" trying to perform Shakespeare, Elfen Lied has such a crude facade that only certain people can overlook to find the quality behind it. At its core, Elfen Lied is about the pain, loneliness, and rage inside of a girl who fights against it every day. No matter how hard she tries to not kill and to live at peace with humanity, her powers and years of abuse explode and create an unwanted bloodbath. Yet you might be surprised of how emotionally attached you might be to Lucy in the last few manga chapters. Easily she is the best thing in this series.

Other characters get backstory, and some relationships are heartwarming. Lucy and Kouta's relationship went down a very predictable path until the last quarter of the manga, which allowed their conflict to end on a bittersweet, but satisfying note. Besides the main character, Kurama, Nana, and Bando were some of the most memorable characters in the cast.

Now, about that theater troop...

Elfen Lied is a good tragic drama with some really cool sci-fi elements that are easy to understand. That being said, if someone on this planet could rewrite the manga and anime by eliminating all the - pardon my French - bullshit, maybe this series wouldn't make people cringe.

The anime might be notorious for being extremely bloody (like Hellsing Ultimate) and full of fanservice... BUT the manga has an inexcusably monstrous amount of both. There are so many pointless and revolting scenes of nudity that it might as well be porn. I think Marilyn Manson's face would turn green if he saw this.

I really wanted to like Elfen Lied, even in the "so bad, it's good" kind of way. Yes, I cried a billion times at the manga's end and twice at the anime's end, but this series has such a thick, nasty outside that it might not always be worth it when you get to the good stuff.

At least the anime has beautifully haunting music.

Elfen Lied had a very interesting premise, with elements of sci-fi, drama, and tragedy morphed and twisted into a gruesome but different creature. With some serious work on rewriting scenes, humor, and events this would have been a more sophisticated work. Plus, cut out the disgusting fanservice: some of the nudity in later chapters were fine, but early on it was still horrendously overdone.

I don't regret trying this out but...*cringes* I seriously need a shower.