28 June 2010

A Passive Art

Normally Monday is my least favorite day of the week, but now I am sure it will be Wednesday this time. Sure it's the middle of the week then, but this time, it'll be my last day in my home until late July. Dear reader(s), if you exist, I am excited to say I will be in Europe with a group of kids my age for 21 days! However, i will have no ability to have access to my blog and the internet in general. No cell phones, no laptops, no smart phones, no Jesus Tablets (aka, the iPad). But I keep my iPod! Yay! :) I will have a journal to write down what I will be experiencing there. But perhaps the free space will be used for ideas to write about when I come back. My mind is as restless as ever, but I have no will to write things down. What kind of artist am I?

As of now, I know I'm more of a critic than an artist. Isn't it easier to point out the flaws in something than it is to actually attempt to create the same product? I can diss Splice as much as I want from the last entry, but writing a better story, playing one of the characters, or directing the film is something I'd never have the stimulus to even make a simple effort. Perhaps this part of the logic behind why people find it pointless to "hate" something. You know you can't do the same thing as good; therefore, you are just hiding your jealousy and denying it.

This is one of the many techniques some people use to defend the very thing they cherish as fans. But they can go so far as to not only defend it; they attack those who have anything less than appreciative from others. As common as these people are, really, most of them aren't very overbearing about it. Some genuinely don't understand why something can be disliked and can be offended by that fact. Some misunderstand what the "hater" is stating in his opinion, and they will snap back, assuming the original comment was very offensive. And there are some who just don't have anything to say but say "can you please stop being so mean," when clearly the "hater" isn't.

But my favorite fans are the zealous ones, who blow up and use any method to scare or harm you. These people tend to be single-minded and can often be seen as ignorant. Don't get me wrong, I do not hate these type of people, dear readers! However, if one goes at me for no reason and with not even an ounce of integrity, I lose respect for him or her. Anyone else would do so, right?

Sometimes I sound like a formal, indifferent person when I present my views (this applies more online), but I do my best to hold some regard for others, no matter how radical. Sadly, I am known for my having strong opinions and having a blunt nature; these two make a nasty pair when I express myself. However, I'm not one to offend someone and ignore it. Oftentimes I do apologize if I confuse someone or say something out of line. Other times, although rare, I don't hold back when I say someone is downright rude, immature, or just running in circles with his/her points in an argument.

For the opinionated me with strong opinions, perhaps the art I am working on is that of debate. Since I'm a fairly quiet, nervous person, actually reaching out and doing something without thinking is not for me. In that regard, the military and other forms of service are not on my alley. Those kinds of jobs require hard work and determination for a cause for the betterment of the world. If I wasn't so disorganized, lazy, and hesitant, perhaps I might have the momentum to turn off my computer, get dressed, and drive over to the local soup kitchen. Really, I'm not that person. Since barking comes easier to me than biting, I might as well make enough use for it so I can make a difference. Writing and having strong convictions are my virtues, and can be used for the better. They can be used well if time, research, effort, and motivation are key factors. Thankfully, if it's something I enjoy, I love to research both the black and white sides of something. It feeds my brain so it can do its work and give me something worthwhile to say. Telling people the facts and encouraging them to work things out to solve problems. See, barking does have its uses!

Maybe that's my dream career: to examine a concept or issue in many ways possible; appreciate both sides; logically pointing towards one over the other with reason; encourage others to help resolve the issue; and shed light on something that one might not have ever known. Traveling can help with that by seeing the world in different places and varying perspectives. Writing everything I have learned and turn it into a speech or a book can make the information known. Debating reveals what I know and what I don't know from being with other people. This sounds pretty fun... but that sounds like a job for a politician. Oh, no!

But being in politics might not bas as bad as being in the media (although the line continues to blur). The last thing I want is to write for a senseless rag controlled by the paparazzi. I would rather be an international ambassador trying to seek a peace treaty with a Middle Eastern country than write about Lindsay Lohan's millionth time in jail for spinning her car for fun in the middle of a major highway while drunk. What will be more likely to start World War 3: the Middle East or Lindsay Lohan?
(If you picked the latter... *shakes head*)

This entry is quite disorganized! I guess I needed a bit of a rant this week from all the stress of my trip. Since I'm leaving this Thursday, this will be the last entry until late July. Maybe I'll post a picture of where I was when I get back. Depending on what it is, I might ramble about something I always wanted to write something about. For now, I'll stay silent. If my experience in Europe is as beautiful and amazing as I think it will be (or even better), maybe I'll write about it. My only hint will be this lyrical excerpt from a John Mayer song:

"I'm writing you
To catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter, probably got excited
But there's nothing else inside it

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping that I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I would tell you all about it
When I'm in the mood
To lose my way
With words"

That is my only hint. I will remain silent. Until I return, take care of yourselves! Fangirl's Asylum will be open only for those who are interested in the notes the patient has left behind. And this time, you are free to leave without much difficulty until I return...

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