April 2015 Update: Still Not Dead, But Worried and Tired

D-Don't get me st-started... *sniffle*

Life has a wonderful way of throwing a billion priorities at you, and you're left confused in the middle of a deep valley surrounded by mountains. Yes, due to fulfilling college group requirements, attending a few daunting classes, planning for summer, analyzing my research, and prepping for possible conferences, I ignored Rants From a Fangirl for a few months. Honestly, I've been feeling more tired than usual. Before Spring Break, I was so mentally fatigued that I often slept in for twelve hours on weekends and took naps in the middle of the week, only to wake up more unhappy and frustrated with myself.

I have been feeling better lately though. Several internship opportunities I signed up for have all turned me down, but I've taken the rejection a lot easier than I had earlier this semester. I'm still at a point in my MegaTen research that I can't openly say how things are going, but I'm still working on it for school. (Just the other day, in fact, I stayed up until 2am working on it.) If I can't get anything else right, I hope my project works out well enough for my undergraduate record to look promising.

I know that this blog is supposed to not focus on my personal life, so I'll now talk about all the nerdy shit I've been up to when I should have been writing for my blog!

I blame a good portion of my laziness to Hatsune Miku.

Japanese Singing Software > Guitar Hero

It's been a little while since I last purchased a game. I already have Majora's Mask on the Gamecube, and, despite it's glitchy reputation, I'm satisfied enough with it that buying the 3DS version is not a high priority. Though I don't have a next gen console, whatever destroyed glorious potential The Order 1886 had at one point depressed me enough to not bother with a PS4 or Xbone. Zelda for WiiU has been delayed and SMTxFE turned out to be Fire Emblem with the most superficial Persona elements and Conception 2's generic, near-pandering artstyle. (Zipper panties. Just... what in the name of fried Oreos I don't even...) So to find some happiness in this hobby, I picked up Project Diva f after playing the demo to death a few months ago.

I'm not completely entranced by the Vocaloid phenomenon, but I can admit there's something interesting about synthesized vocals adding to the music someone wants to make. It's a new instrument or tool to create something pleasing and meaningful. That is one of my biggest problems with a lot of pop music. Autotune and other non-natural elements can enhance or hinder, and some producers seem determined to make as much obnoxious, unflattering noise as possible. From my vaguest knowledge of computers and how artistic software works (using Photoshop for a project in high school was a bitch and a half), it can be difficult to create something good if you don't know what you're doing. Even with some of the songs in Project Diva, I hear that genres work for some Vocaloids better than others. Some Vocaloids seem difficult to work with to make their voices sound more natural and fluid rather than choppy and grating.

But that stuff's out of my league. The game is a blast, and I like the Diva Room mode where you hang out with the Vocaloids and play rock-paper-scissors if you're friends.

Luka-chan is so preciously adorable.

...Anywho. Onto other things...

Every Bucket Has a Waterproof List

Last time I mentioned how much I've enjoyed Twin Peaks, and I've rewatched the series and Fire Walk with Me for a second time. The wait for the returning season is just as bad - if not worse - than the detox after completing a new season of Game of Thrones. To combat that pain, I tried a few movies I've heard of in passing and wanted to give a look. Clue had a baffling premise, but somehow the board game-adapted movie was surprisingly decent (probably because of Tim Curry). I finally saw Groundhog Day. While it was relatively mediocre, it felt good to see it's take on a seemingly infinite time loop that a lot of fiction has tackled since. I even watched Dracula for the fourth time because of Gary Oldman. For some reason I'm back in my vampire craving again, so my yearly ice cream binge of depression inevitably happened as I watched Moonlight.

For romance, I watched Silver Linings Playbook.

Uh... NO.

Don't get me wrong, this was the best film I've ever seen her in... but yeah. I still don't understand the appeal of Jennifer "Leotard" Lawrence, and as good as she was in this, I don't get why she got an Oscar for this movie. Silver Linings Playbook itself was well made... but maybe I've seen more than enough romances to know that this one is not my cup of tea. Maybe it's because Bradley Cooper's character made me want to apologize yet again for what I said about Persona 4.

Otherwise, I knocked a few other movies off the movie-goer's bucket list, like Silence of the Lambs and American Beauty. If Netflix keeps adding on some classics, I can tackle some more. For now, though, I'm so stressed that finding movies that make me happy should be a priority.

Squees From Eyes to Ears

I know I'll probably never meet Daniel Radcliffe or Emma Watson or JK Rowling. A few students from one of my programs ran into Rupert Grint in New York City last semester, and my jealous heart turned three shades of green. I might never get to have that kind of nerdvana type of experience, but having all seven books in Mandarin Chinese has to count for something.

A friend of mine got them for me after he returned from China. To make up for nearly a year of being on opposite ends of the planet, we got to talk for a while and he helped me some more with my learning Chinese. And I smiled like a giddy child when he gave me these. And I thanked him endlessly for them.

Reading them will be field trip too. Reading one page made my eyes hurt, but it's mainly because I'm not used to reading a book in a completely different language from English. It'll be an interesting experience, that's for sure.

Aside from books, music hasn't really caught my attention lately. HIM's drummer departed a few months ago, Lacuna Coil's latest album hasn't been sticking with me, and mainstream music continues to pee the bed. I'm saving up money for Bastille's All This Bad Blood, but otherwise nothing has happened. My luck with running into music related news has always been so shi-

!!!!!

BREAKING BENJAMIN IS FINALLY BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!! THANK THE SUPERIOR BEING(S)!!!!!!!!!!!

Good things do happen when you wait for the right thing at the right time.

Anywho... The State of My Blog

Right. Back to business, so to speak.

For the time being, my Mass Effect 3 review will remain on hiatus until I feel ready to finish it. (Admittedly, I don't want to be repetitive with some points... and that ending, man. Holy crap, I'm not ready to talk about that...) While I am gaining more of a following than I had years ago, this blog is still not necessarily an entertainment outlet. This has always been a "private" outlet in a sense, and I'm still getting used to having an audience with hundreds of views a week. Rants of a Fangirl will keep happening as long as I'm still motivated to keep going. It might not be frequent for the likes of many, but I don't want to post something that I feel is half-assed and lazy. Plus, I don't consume enough media to be a reviewer. I'm an opinionated English speaker communicating through a computer when I get too annoyed with daily life stresses.

I can't guarantee what my next post topic will be, but I sometimes use my Twitter when my opinion can't be contained in a few 150 character posts. Tumblr is a mixed bag, but I mostly hang around for cool pictures. Once things settle down at school in the next two weeks, I'll see if I can post something to get the engine running again.

And, while I haven't said it often, I'm open to feedback. While my criticisms of Persona 4 has pissed off many people, I still liked the comments here and on DDS-Net because they let me re-evaluate my own opinion of the game and how I can improve my writing.

So that's about it for now. Meanwhile, I have a powerpoint presentation, an essay, and math homework all due in twelve hours.

I'm so proud to be a procrastinator.