25 June 2013

June 2013 Update: E-cow-nomics

I know it's off the internet...
But even a pic I took would make it
tiny to read...
Because I'm bored and having writer's block on my blog. Call it me selling out or lazy, that's fine. I'll get off my ass and finish my Mass Effect 2 review... or maybe beat Persona 4 Golden.

My brain is in a state similar to fried chicken because I'm spending too much time writing my Persona 3 fanfic. An activity that originally started out of boredom back during the spring semester has exploded into a 400+ page, six Word documented project that is still incomplete. ...I still don't know why I'm still writing it. At this rate, it'll be longer than Les Miserables.

Otherwise Fangirl's life is... is... is... um...

...I got a new poster to take to college. It'll proudly sit right next to the one on the menstrual cycle I got from the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia.

Yeah. This thing. XD
I just love dry, quirky humor like this.
... This might be me selling out, but oh well. My fanfic destroyed my brain. That's a good excuse... right?

Introducing the explanation of 21 economic models... using cows! Too bad the font is too tiny to read of the picture...

Socialism: You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The State takes both then sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have two cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow had dropped dead.

Venture Capitalism - Icelandic Corporation: You have two cows. You sell all three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.

German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count again and learn you have two cows.

Swiss Corporation: You have five thousand cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them. You claim you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.

British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are a part of Democracy.

Australian Corporation: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close offices and go for a few beers to celebrate.

New Zealand Corporation: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

And everyone gets made fun of. :)

Back to writing I guess... *sigh* I need something to make me smile...

... Someone make this happen. NOW.


Black Ragdoll said...

I've seen the cow meme before, it's quite amusing! x)

Voltech said...

A four-hundred page fanfic? Inconceivable! How could anyone possibly write that mu--

I probably shouldn't speak. Fanfiction is something that I've dabbled in (for all of two sentences), but when it comes to other stuff, let's just say...there's a lot. And that's all I'm going to say about that. For now.

Also, I would very much approve of Cooking Shinji. Oh man, if it had Persona-based cooking battles like Iron Chef, then it would be the Game of the Year for all years. On this, there can be no dissent.

Melanie~Light said...

Black Ragdoll:

Indeed it is! That's why I had to buy it. I'm a sucker for that kind of humor. Both the American and Surrealist ones made me cry. Italian and Chinese came a close second.

IDK, When the economy still isn't doing too well, sometimes ya just have to laugh at how broken the system can end up being.


WELL, it's not like I'm gonna publish it. There are too many plot holes, inconsistencies, and moments of fluff that would make me crawl in a hole and die. Add on the fact I use way too many descriptions and I drag scenes much longer than needed. And the protagonist is a bit of a Sue.

...I'm too insecure to even put it on fanfiction.net when I iron out the issues and maybe RE-WRITE it. ...At least it's writing practice: that's how I try to justify its existence.

*le gasp* I will totally preorder that game the second its announced. Atlus makes the 'Trauma Center' series, I bet they could totally create a Persona cooking-battle spinoff! My 3DS will have a new title to play AND it'll make me forgive Atlus for October 4th!

Does anyone know someone who knows someone? ...Please? T-T

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...