'Mass Effect 2': Part II

This post is long... and way beyond overdue. Life and college tends to do that.

I apologize.

Anywho.

Taking some time away from these games to live my life and try new things, sometimes I get a fresh new view on Mass Effect. Although there is quite a good bit of the fiction I still really enjoy, there are others that have lost their luster.

Sometimes I go on and on about how lovable a cast can be, and it's only true to a certain extent. When it comes to stories in many mediums of fiction, I find myself truly caring about one in every four people. Most times it's because there's not enough time to develop and get to know these characters. Otherwise, another one in four is simply entertaining in the short term. The two quarters are either in the category of "Who gives a shit?" or "FALL IN A PIT AND DIE!"

Mass Effect has been pretty good in the sense that most characters fit in box two: short-lived, but fun. Some take up type three (forgettable) and almost no one is type four (except one person to be noted in the third game). Several people fit in box one... and it's thanks to this game.

Once again, and I am 100% serious: SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FREAKING FRANCHISE HERE.

If you don't want the plot ruined, PLEASE play the games. The Trilogy box set is about $35.00 for three games. $11.50 each: that's a deal. It's cheaper than buying ME1 on the Playstation Network.That is cheaper than Skyrim and all it's DLC. This is cheaper than Far Cry 3. And you get 90 hours of gameplay. What are you waiting for? BUY IT.

Or if you just like spoilers in general, keep on reading.

Characters

When tasked with the grandmommy of all suicide missions, you need to call upon the greatest badasses in the galaxy and earn their support to ensure success. If you installed all the semi-necessary downloadable content, you are presented with twelve, unique individuals with his or her own personalities, talents, and inner demons.

Recruiting these misfits and helping them complete their unfinished business takes up the majority of the gameplay and plot. This makes Mass Effect 2 the most character-driven chapter in the trilogy, because neither of the other titles spend so much time expanding on and developing so many people in thirty hours. If the story was badly written and the characters were unlikeable, this would be a doomed experiment. Thankfully, the majority of these guys are interesting enough to stay invested. Thanks, Bioware, for creating such awesome characters.

From left to right...

...we have: an infamous bounty hunter, a uniquely programed geth, an poised religious warrior, a young machinist, an ethically questionable scientist, a snarky vigilante, a genetically "perfect" operative, an aggressive tank-bred soldier, a former military lieutenant, a soft-spoken assassin, a telekinetic sociopath, and a sentimental master thief.

Sounds like a party, huh? We haven't even talked about their personal issues! Some seek revenge, some experience existentialist angst, and others are haunted by past mistakes. Do you know what's even better? Some of these guys really hate each other! With a diverse group of humans, aliens, and a machine, that's just swell!

One thing I find interesting is that of all the characters that ever butt heads... three are possible romantic interests for a male Shepard. Miranda and Jack have their little cat fight while Tali puts a gun to Legion's head. If picking one over the other, MaleShep might lose his chance to bed either the Aussie, the psychopath, or the alien. FemShep has no such worries since two of her options are too level-headed and the third is too busy dying to give a crap about such stupidity. BioWare did this intentionally...

Anywho.

Out of these twelve burdened souls, I can say I only disliked one, apathetic with another and was unsure about three. So let's start looking at them.

Mordin Solus

There are tons of dialogue opportunities with this guy on the ship... and I loved every second of them.

Some loyalty missions feel forced if there wasn't any good built-up leading to them. The problems each teammate has should be brought up a few times before calling the ever-busy Commander Shepard. Doing so in the recruitment missions or on-ship conversations is perfectly acceptable, just as long as something is addressed ahead of time. Thankfully, Mordin's issues are laid out pretty straightforwardly. By the second conversation you already know a great bit what his loyalty mission relates to. What probably helps is that the first game already planted the seeds, and the plant is starting to grow.

Hello, krogan genophage, your subplot finally kicks off!

A long time ago, the krogan, known to breed quickly and have long life spans, were seen as a threat to the galaxy and the salarians released a sterility plague to prevent overpopulation. Near the more recent years in the game's universe, Mordin was involved in a project to modify the genetic sterilization as it seemed that the krogan population rate appeared to be slowly increasing.

Like any scientist who is blessed with the ability to step back from fully utilizing their mad brains, he questioned how ethical his actions were. Was he really dooming a species to extinction by limiting their ability to reproduce and forcing the males to be suicidal, territorial, and violent rather than try to restore the glory of their once-proud culture? Or were Mordin and his fellow salarians protecting a species too sociologically aggressive and technologically unprepared to interact with the galactic community without creating a devastating war?

This loyalty mission has some of the best dialogue in the entire game. No matter if you play as a Paragon or a Renegade, you can truly see how conflicted and confused Mordin still is about his work. The conversation you have in the abandoned hospital with the dead krogan woman still moves me. In my many playthroughs, I skip past some conversations because I heard them too many times to count. This is one I never miss. Just watching Mordin argue with Shepard and himself over the genophage was amazing.

It's not often for me to find a story, a piece of fiction that handles a complicated issue and paints it so well, so realistically that I reconsider some opinions I hold that deal with politics, morality, and ethics. There's a large, murky grey area in debate that is often ignored in favor of simplistic black and white, right and wrong ways of thinking. For a game to at least discuss how the world is not always that simple, is absolutely wonderful. Mass Effect doesn't always take the "grey area" to the forefront: some decisions often rely on A or B to resolve a conflict. But in the rare times there is that third option, you worked your ass off to get there and it is totally worth it.

"Talk later, Shepard. Updating crew dental records. All Cerberus
personnel have cyanide capsules in molars. Primitive. Ocular
nerve flashbangs harder to disarm."

So yeah... I love Mordin. Any other indecisive character angsting over his problems would make me want to strangle him/her. Thankfully it did not happen here. Perhaps it's because salarians tend to process their thoughts and feelings a lot quicker than we can. They only live for about forty human years afterall. Regardless, this experience only made Mass Effect 3 even more epic and amazing as the genophage story arc comes to a close. This dilemma actually had some heavy, serious weight that cannot be chalked up to Mordin "having daddy issues". It's more questionable for the others though.

As a scientist... I buy that he was skilled and resourceful... but the writing staff made him seem stupid by their own misunderstanding of science. (1) Though it's a nitpick that doesn't completely destroy Mordin's character.

Anywho.

Time for how he handles in combat... he's fragile, but effective. I always take advantage of Incinerate to weaken enemies with regenerating health - like krogan mercenaries -  and Cryo Blast to freeze organics. Sometimes I bring him on Horizon just to deal with the Collectors' barriers and armor, both weak to Incinerate. Sure, his defense is pretty bad, but his AI is smart enough to get by... most times. Typically all my hard-hitters die a lot quicker than Mordin. In a way he counts as an Engineer, though his abilities focus more on disarming organic enemies rather than synthetic machines.

Overall, he is the easiest character to die on the Suicide Mission, even if you gained his loyalty. Since I have spoiled and will continue to spoil big things in this game, I want to keep my trap shut on the mechanics of the Suicide Mission. All I'll say is how likely each teammate will die. Here, it just so happens that Mordin is at the bottom of the chain.

Still, from a gameplay perspective, he's fragile, but useful.

Miranda Lawson

She's pretty handy as a teammate throughout the entire game when dealing with a variety of enemies. Miranda, being a Sentinel, can fry enemy shields and can pull some wicked tricks with Warp. Toss another biotic in the team with Pull or Singularity, have Miranda use Warp, and say bye-bye to exploding enemies! Even her unlock-able biotic ability, Slam, is pretty damn satisfying. She's a jack-of-all trades in terms of stats, so if you have no idea who to bring along on missions, take Miranda.

For the Suicide Mission she's a middle-tier survivor. On a scale of 1 to 4, she sits somewhere around 2.

As for a character... I can buy her being unhappy about being engineered to be perfect, at least in the eyes of her power-hungry "father." This is not a typical "Oh, my parents are so terrible and have such high expectations of me! I hate my life! Waaaah!" Her dad is seriously @#%$ing evil. Mass Effect 3 drives this point into the ground until it plows through the equator and reaches the Indian Ocean (2).

She accepts that she is what she is - a skilled agent having a nice body that the developers have no qualms showing off because they assume that men are drooling, testosterone-fueled morons (3); however, Miranda realizes that the pressure can be too much. As reliable as she can be on combat, she is not the best choice for everything and she can make mistakes. So don't bitch and yell at her when she fails to do something. ... And this is not foreshadowing AT ALL.

That being said, she can be quite arrogant at times. Even though she accepts her being genetically engineered and that her existence and the consequences of this are beyond her control, she can sound rather boastful and overconfident to the ears of some. Miranda is a proud, stoic ice queen hiding her insecurities. It doesn't help that she rarely shows much sympathy to some, like Jack. On the one hand, you can see her as a woman not always agreeing with everything Cerberus does, but sees that the group does get a job done without bureaucratic bullshit to hinder progress. However, she does not extend a hand to people like Jack who were abused by the same anti-establishment group that comes off as a bully in the eyes of the galaxy.

Depending on where I stood, I could relate to the Mary Sue deconstruction angle on her perfect genetics (like how I have to accept I am a mixed-raced American who gets questioned by Caucasians if I'm a first-generation Asian immigrant - WTF?), but I didn't always appreciate her being so professional and so proud that she couldn't show an ounce of humility or sympathy to some people who deserve it.

Don't get me wrong, she's not a great character, but she's not a bad one either. I really liked her loyalty mission that dealt with relocating her sister. There's typical mercenary shenanigans to deal with, being Mass Effect, but it was nice to see Miranda when she does not come off looking like a serious, uptight woman subject to much scrutiny because developers made her wear a catsuit. (Though it makes sense for her to feel uncomfortable in something that... impractical.)

Being a romance interest for MaleShep, it's not surprising how many pick her. You can't Google Miranda without someone Photoshopping a part of the sex scene to make Miranda look like a Playboy bunny. It simply makes me have no sympathy for those who whine about the ass shots shoe-horned in this game. The developers treat Miranda with more respect than some teenage-stricken morons on the internet do. And I've seen far worse "objectification". Anime is sadly plagued with it. That being said, her romance is not the most emotionally moving, but past the one fanservicey scene, it's handled reasonably well... a good bit of the time.

Seriously though. As much as they like to show off her assets, the extent of her being a "bitch" is in her catfights with Jack. And at least her body shape is proportional and realistic.

Jacob Taylor

He's supposed to be the level-headed one in the gang. Jacob is in Cerberus only because they are more willing to act whenever a crisis arises, and he has no known personal or psychological issues. Like Joker, he can speak to Shepard about whether or not the gang is ready to launch the suicide mission. Unlike everyone else, Jacob seems well-adjusted and ready to get the job done.

So why is he so disliked by the fans?

From a gameplay standpoint, I never used Jacob past the first two recruitment missions - excluding his loyalty mission. For some strange, irrational reason, I always hated the Pull ability. It's like my relationship with beef: I really, really, really hate it and I will avoid it unless no other options are available. Therefore, to prevent a blood vessel from popping and thus killing my brain cells, I never used Pull. He also has Incendiary Ammo and Barrier, but Grunt is essentially a clone (he also has Incendiary Ammo, and a Barrier equivalent called Fortication.) Plus, Grunt has superior weapon damage, defense, and health. I guess I never liked the idea of letting my squadmates perform any kind of biotic abilities, so my Adept and Vanguard Shepards never needed him.

Otherwise... he's fine. As a Vanguard, he works well in the early part of the game when you have no heavy hitter combatants like Grunt or Zaeed yet. Like Miranda, he sits somewhere in the middle on the scale of likelihood of dying on the Suicide Mission.

As a character, there is no reason for him to have a loyalty mission. It has no baring on any plot line at all in this entire trilogy, ever. It's like a shoe-horned-in beach episode of an anime like Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, Death Note, Neon Genesis Evangelion, or Fruits Basket. You simply scratch your head and wonder what the hell it does to advance the plot or a story arc with a character or two that will be worthwhile in the long run. Then you look at the work as a whole next to the filler episode and say, "Well, that was pointless."

His loyalty mission involves his dad being a misogynistic pig. ...That's it.

I'm not kidding.

Since he's the level-headed one, Jacob's loyalty should have been based on how prepared your ship and your loyal teammates are. The more prepared everyone is, the more upgrades the Normandy has, the more he trusts that Commander Shepard will kick ass. Maybe he could explain why he had his doubts, by retelling a story from his days in the Alliance military. At least James Vega from ME3 mentioned his run-in with the Collectors. That short detailing helped flesh out his character a tiny bit, but it was something!

Without something important or emotional to latch onto, I see absolutely nothing in Jacob that could flesh out the Mass Effect fiction as a whole. He's not a human biotic that underwent questionable experiments and - if he lives - gets to be a potential Spectre candidate. He's not an Alliance soldier who was recommended into the same N7 program as Shepard and asks him/her to be a mentor. He wasn't experimented by Cerberus to be the all-powerful super biotic. He's just some dude who hates politics (like everyone else) and was a member of a branch of the Alliance that gets no expansion in the games or the comics or the novels. Just one tiny paragraph. After all the extensive expansion of many ideas that seemed random and obscure at first, it's sad that the Corsairs were completely ditched by the wayside. And Jacob's not even a hard-core Cereberus loyalist who's just spying on everyone. Heck, if that was true, he'd be a better secondary villain in ME3 than -

Yes, the annoying punk voiced by Troy Baker.

...Wait.

OHCRAP!! GETHIMOFF! GETHIMOFF!! GOAWAYFINALFANTASY13!!!

Thank you. =_='

Anywho, I can't get this sidetracked.

Yes, maybe he could be the "safest" romantic option for a female Shepard... if that subplot wasn't boring too! The snark-flirt-kiss tango gets really old, very fast. It gets to the point that FemShep should never talk to him at all, because someone told Jennifer Hale to pretend that FemShep is meant to hit on the poor guy every time she sees him.

And... I hate bringing this up... but it continues to depress me that there are black characters that are treated more respectfully than the ones who die first in horror films, or fit urban stereotypes, but STILL have the most pointless roles in a story. It's the twenty first century, and I'm angry that progress continues to move at a snail's pace.

Okay, me, good point. I'll retract that statement. This is the wrong time to complain about that can of worms.

So... I guess Jacob was severely underdeveloped and underutilized. Being black and being human isn't a bad thing (heck, David Anderson is freaking AWESOME), but with a billion other characters greatly tied up in complicated plot threads, Jacob should have been more proactive. Hell, maybe being a therapist or negotiator could have helped. Instead we get a mellow dude who comes off looking bland next to characters with dynamic personalities and a lot more going on in their stories.

The bright side? He's plenty comfortable voicing his dislike for the human black ops group he works for, but also sees them as a necessary evil. So that's one point over Miranda.

Grunt

Another krogan? Voiced by Tom from Toonami (4) and Spike from Cowboy Bebop?! Heck yeah!! :D

Unlike other characters, Grunt doesn't have too much going for him in the character development category. His story isn't complex, deep or groundbreaking. But he's an awesome krogan who knows Shepard's the king/queen and that all should bow before him/her because no one else can kill a Reaper like Commander Shepard! Everyone who fails says hello to his M-300 Claymore.

Dang, krogan are so blunt. I have to love them for it.

An artificially tank-bred killing machine who knows how to a hold a shotgun based off of picture thingies... memory... imprint... stuff. Who CARES?! It's a badass warrior among a race of badass warriors who can take a ton of crap and fling it right back at an enemy tenfold! How can you not have a party member like Grunt?

Honestly, if you're not playing a Soldier or combat-reliant Shepard, Grunt is an excellent option. As mentioned previously, he's basically a sturdier and tougher Jacob. He has the Fortification skill rather than Barrier to increase his defense, and he uses the disabling Concussive Shot. ("Yeah! Right on yer ass!") Unless you have Zaeed through Cerberus Network, Grunt will be your only heavy-duty squadmate. Garrus might have tech tricks, but he lacks the defense to keep himself alive. Grunt is a brick wall of pain, making him the least likely squadmate to die on the Suicide Mission.

Otherwise, Grunt's story is very bare-bones. Bioware seemed to be relying a bit too much on their writing and Steve Blum's delivery to sell this character. It worked on me, but as a result, there's not a ton to say about him.

He's an artificially created krogan designed to fight. But he has no place or purpose until you take him to Tuchanka to help him deal with his urges. Yep, puberty, but the violent type. Rite of Passage ceremony of beating the crap out of pissed off creatures ensues and Grunt earns recognition among his people. This digression of a loyalty mission was a cool examination of krogan culture in this continuously growing world Bioware crafted.

You see the remains of what once could have been a lively Tuchanka, resided by a proud warrior race. You see what the krogan hold onto as a result of adapting to their harsh ruin of a planet. Depending on his fate from ME1, you see Wrex again and hear of the plans he has for his people. You get a taste of what these people are and where they are going. You see how they interact, how they pass their time, how their politics run, and how much the genophage has changed them. This stuff is really darn cool!

... ... But this anthropology major is getting ahead of herself. Duì bù qǐ.

Being immersed in the world-building of the krogan culture and seeing Grunt find his way was just enjoyable for me. Plus he's a fun dude who may not surpass Wrex in awesomeness, but his presence was enough to make me sad that no playable krogan squadmate returns in ME3. *sobs*

You may be simple, but I love you, Grunt. :D

Jack

I kinda have a soft spot for those with strange thought processes. Comes with my interest in social science and psychology, I suppose. o_O

Anywho, Jack's a pretty decent character. Kind of. ... ... I hate her outfit. A LOT. The tattoos are really cool, but the outfit... *groan*

Fans like to put Jack and Miranda on a scale to determine which one can outbitch the other. If the argument between them over Cerberus did not add enough fuel to the fire, then I don't know what else would. They hate each other's guts. Miranda still says Cerberus does good in the end, despite the horrible means done to get there. Jack thinks she's up the ass in denial. I found truth on both sides, but I ultimately agree more with Jack.

Cerberus - as seen throughout the whole trilogy - is hilariously incompetent. Only Project Lazarus and the Normandy remodeling were the only obvious successes the black ops group managed to pull off. Meanwhile, the rachi, the husks, and the human biotic experiments all ended horribly. And poor Jack is ridiculously powerful, unstable, and misanthropic. Yeah, Miranda, your heart is one size too small, dear. Yes, she may be self-centered, but Jack grew up a lab rat and lived a life as a criminal. She knew nothing else but crime, sex, human trafficking, arson, drugs, and everything else that you learn from Sesame Street.

She drops curses more frequently than Shadow the Hedgehog when he shoots himself in the foot, and she can be very unapproachable. But like most jerkasses, once you help them out, they'll warm up to you a bit. Jack doesn't lose her violent, angry edge, but she - like the others - will feel Shepard has earned her respect.

It's even true if you romance her as a MaleShep. Don't agree to have casual sex with her. She will never talk to you again if you do. The psychologist on the ship even warns you about this. So just talk to her like you do with everyone else and she'll slowly start to trust him. Then cue the freaking out since she never trusted people in her life... ever. It's really mushy and adorable. Even Kasumi can't help but go "d'awwww" when you two get together. And while most scenes at the end of romance routes hint to sex, Jack's ends on a more emotional note.

Ah, much better!

Since jerkasses are apparently my fictional weakness like oreos, crab meat, and dark chocolate tickling my appetite, I guess I can say Jack's one of my favorite female characters in the series. She gets a lot better in ME3, especially with Citadel DLC. She's still an angry person, but she knows how to channel her feelings well by that point. She grows up and finds a place she belongs, just like the other misfits you drag along through the trilogy.

Her character arc adds very little to the overall plot, but her side story was one I actually cared about. We get more world-building from this human biotic than Kaidan, and her history further reveals the awful, monstrous colors of Cerberus. So maybe that's her role, and I liked it.

In combat, however, I use her very infrequently. I love chatting with her, but my biotic-biased playthroughs often make Jack a bystander. She uses shotguns and pistols, both decent weapons. Her health and biotic barriers are pathetic, she can die easily, and I really, really HATE Pull. On the bright side, unlike her fellow Vanguard Jacob, Warp Ammo's kinda helpful and Shockwave blows enemies away in a series of tsunami waves. So sometimes I do use her for excellent crowd control when I'm in a trigger happy mood. Her use on the Suicide mission, however, despite her being very likely to die, is a big help. Thus I do bring her along sometimes.

Her recruitment mission's a pain if you don't have Soldier-oriented teammates like Grunt, Zaeed, or Garrus yet. Mechs and Blue Suns mercenaries skilled in tech with high health in large numbers can really hurt you. Biotics are not recommended at all. On the other hand, Jack's loyalty mission is one of the easiest in the game. You can breeze through it without thinking much. However, Jack's character development is pretty good, so keep your brain on during those parts.

So to answer anyone's questions, I like both but I prefer Jack over Miranda.

Garrus Vakarian

And Fangirl commences her squees... after she stops screaming at her tenth failed attempt at protecting the basement from mercenaries. But once it's over, she can squee. And squee she shall.

The most boring character from ME1 finally develops into more than a cardboard box spewing Codex entries! He has a character arc I actually give a crap about!

Mordin's loyalty mission might have had the best dialogue... but I always loved the tension in Garrus's. There is no time limit for anything, but in every playthrough, I sit on the edge and bite my nails. The first time I played, I had to take a two hour break just to calm the hell down. That has never happened before and since in any other video game ever... for now.

That being said, his recruitment mission is a nightmare. One minute, you're enjoying the game very much. The next the game jumps in difficulty that practically screams "FUCK YOU!" if you're underleveled. That basement is gateway to the underworld. Vorcha, krogan, and pyjacks surround Shepard and his/her combat-weak teammates. Reason number two on why Grunt is more suitable than Jacob. Even if you carry over a save from the first game, level 7 Shepard will get his/her organs yanked out.

But enough about the missions! How does he play? ... ... ... Even worse than before!!

Glass cannon does not begin to describe Garrus. The game's AI for him is incompetent. Don't be shocked if he's equipped with the Black Widow sniper rifle and running into the fray like he's holding the Kassa Locust SMG. Combat 101: NEVER SEND THE SNIPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A WARZONE. I, who hates shooters and games that take place in warzones with the passion of a billion supernovas, know this because it's COMMON SENSE! The same thing applies to archers in nearly every game with a fantasy setting! If your guy is good at long distance and sucks at short, DON'T THROW HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT!

*sigh*

Otherwise, this Infiltrator has a decent lineup of abilities: concussive shot, armor-piercing ammo, and overload. I bring him 70% of the time since Garrus make up for everything an Adept or Vanguard Shepard doesn't have.

As a character, he's... changed. Though still friendly as usual, Garrus is... more violent and angry than before. You manage to save him before an entire coalition of the largest merc groups in the galaxy murder him. Garrus led a group of vigilantes on the lawless asteroid of Omega to fight crime... and it led him into the recruitment mission mess and the whole team - save one - dead. The only one ratted them out and escaped, so to say Garrus is happy like Santa Claus on Christmas Day is the absolute truth! Then a missile blows off half of his face.

... FemShep, please give him a hug.

Or that works.

*reads between the lines*

Oh, right, I nearly forgot. Garrus is FemShep's second romance option. It's by far my personal favorite, not gonna lie, but I will admit it can be... awkward. From this point on in the series, Garrus is basically the closest thing to a best friend Shepard has, regardless of gender. I know MANY people who play a MaleShep who find out that a FemShep can hook up with him and found the mere idea creepy. It's more awkward than anything, and it seems to be the point.

It first starts off as "hey, we're probably gonna die on this mission, so... wanna blow off some steam before then?". But it's pretty clear in their conversations that Garrus does want to be more than just friends with her. A guy cannot be THAT nervous and tongue-tied and not want an upgrade from Friends with Benefits. The last scene hints at something more emotional, but then it ends abruptly. Left up in the air until ME3. Grrr...

Despite the execution being a bit on the awkward side... Garrus is the best heterosexual option for a FemShep (4). I'm not kidding. The alien with weird biology and dextro-amino acids, thus procreation just won't work if we REALLY have to make that a bulletpoint, is the only option that is not only exclusive to FemShep, but will stay with her from the beginning of the relationship to the end. Kaidan may be human and "normal", but his sexuality changed to bi because the fans demanded it. So he's not exclusive anymore. That just leaves Garrus, Jacob, and Thane. We'll see why Jacob doesn't last in ME3, and I'll get to Thane pretty soon.

Then MaleShep gets all four of his exclusive heterosexual options to stay with him. What the -

No, this is a debate for another day. Back to Garrus.

By the end of the game he lightens up a bit. Either you help him forgive the one who sold him out, or you help him take revenge for the deaths of so many. Whichever you pick, Garrus has a clear head and is 100% willing to join Shepard on the ride to hell. Just like old times indeed. He's 100% loyal and will never miss the opportunity to team up with Shepard ever again. He's steadfast and supportive from now until the end of the trilogy.

And he snarks. Dear, lord. Bioware cranked up the snark with Garrus and it's glorious. He finally has room to comment on anything and is hilarious while doing so.

Thank goodness Garrus is more interesting this time around. And it only gets better in Mass Effect 3. I can't wait!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anywho, this should be enough for now. Next time, I'll tackle the last six characters of the squad.

Until then, here's Mark Meer at his best!

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Part 1

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Part 3

Part 4

~~~~~~~~NOTES:~~~~~~~~

(1) - A genetically varied control group for such in-depth experimentation is a HORRIBLE idea. I'm no scientist, but private grade and high school, as well as a Biology 100 course give me basic knowledge of genetics. Such "variation" can lead to unpredictable and varied results that can be hard to pin-point. Genetics are complicated enough with no two blondes being extremely alike, but a control group must have have members with enough similarities between each other so data cannot be manipulated, corrupted, or compromised by few whacky mutations.

For example, if you want to test the efficiency of a drug on people with type B- blood, why have a control group full of people with type A-, type AB+, and type O- as well as type B- and type B+? This variety has created multiple, varied foundations that are different structurally and functionally.

A simpler example? Place a bunch of houses by the beach and see which one will be taken down by a mighty hurricane. Make a mansion of brick, a hut of tree bark, a skyscraper of hay, town home of sticks, an apartment of steel, shack of marshmallows, and room of glass. Use super glue, standard glue, duct tape, or toothpicks for each building to keep everything together. See the problem?

Precision requires being able to duplicate results multiple times with extremely similar tools, measurements, and subjects. This is essential in science. This is how theories can be tested and confirmed. This is how we get medicines approved of and sold out in the market.

Heck, even the fans picked a bone at this problem too on the Mass Effect wiki.

(2) - Sorry, pals. Digging a hole in the US doesn't lead you to China. Here's proof: http://www.zefrank.com/sandwich/tool.html

(3) - As cynical as I can be about men, I don't like to assume that males are solely driven by the desire to have sex or have sexual fantasies of any and every woman possible. But there sure are days... T-T

(4) - Yeah, I know it's Steve Blum. I just miss Toonami... :'(

(5) - For the sake of this argument, I chose not to include FemShep's lesbian options. Liara doesn't count either thanks to asari being monogendered. I'm looking at this from a similar perspective that guys have when playing MaleShep: who of the opposite gender, exclusive to Shepard, can he bang? After looking through that lens, I was quite angry. I may go back to this problem later in another post, or when I get to Mass Effect 3.